I stayed in the hospital for two more days, spending them as much as I could with Wesley, talking, getting to know him, spooning with him in the skinny bed, kissing every now and then but nothing more - Doc said no strenuous activity, after all. Once, when it dawned on me, I asked him what ever happened with Mark and the meeting, since clearly he never made it. Apparently Sing called him up a few hours after the accident and told him everything. Mark, of course, completely understood. How could he not? They set up a Skype meeting and held it with Wesley in the hospital, about four days after the accident. The execs at Splatt were duly impressed with Haphazardly - now operating under the potential name Wreckless, a cute/morbid mashup of their previous name and the unfortunate recent events - and extended an invitation for them to come to LA, sign a contract, and record an album. The news was clearly bittersweet for Wes, who just suffered a serious personal loss. But, at that time not knowing if I was dead or alive, remembered what I'd told him and knew he'd never forgive himself if he didn't take the chance. So he agreed, and Wreckless is due to fly down to LA in three months, when Wesley'll be out of school for winter break.
After I was checked out of the hospital, I came back every day, staying with Ellen and George by night so I wouldn't have to travel all the way back into the city. Cody's apartment is spooky now. I always feel like he's watching me, judging me, blaming me. I still can't be alone in that apartment. Cody's parents had already emptied his room of his belongings though, so at least I didn't have to be confronted by his laptop or his Dazed and Confused poster and be forced to remember that night, that night that was equal parts tragedy and miracle.
Before Wesley was released, he finally brought up the subject of "us" and whatever we are. It felt a little high school having that conversation. I can't remember the last time I felt the need to clarify the status of a relationship. It's all so 1950's, so after-school-special, 'do you wanna go steady?' But I know that's kind of where Wesley's at. I'm not a total idiot (yeah, I know, surprise). I knew when I made the choice to go to his room that first day I woke up in the hospital that I was getting myself romantically involved with a teenager, and even teenagers as smart and mature as Wesley are still just teenagers. So I indulged his need to talk about it. He's insecure. He still can't believe I actually woke up and didn't regret what happened between us. I regret a lot of things from that night, but falling for Wesley is not one of them. I told him that we could be whatever we wanted to be. He didn't like that answer, and I realized it was my twenty-something answer, an answer for a hot guy I've just started dating who I don't want to scare off. Wesley isn't like that. He wants the intensity. He is the intensity. So I told him that I didn't want anyone but him, and that if somebody else so much as touched him I'd cut their hands off. It startled me how much I meant that. He liked that answer much better. Much better. We stowed away in the bathroom and jacked each other off. It was a good day.
When I finally came home, Kim and I had a long talk. We had to go over everything, starting with what happened on "the night", all the way up to when we were going to start performing again. She let me know, in no uncertain terms, that she doesn't approve of my choice to date Wesley. It's illegal, sure, but I'm not in any serious danger unless his parents decide to seek vengeance for something I do in the future. One day in the hospital they walked in on me cuddled up in bed with Wesley. They were a little shocked, but they already knew Wes is gay, and apparently he'd been telling them about me. They gave me that look, the look that parents always give the older boyfriend. My parents gave my first boyfriend that look - I was twenty and he was thirty-one. But Wesley's parents knew I was a close friend of Cody's, and they knew I saved Wesley's life by risking my own (oh yeah, did I not mention that? Turns out my bleeding to death on the highway actually did some good - when I was trying to flag down a car someone saw me and thought I was a meth addict or something who got stabbed and called 911, which is how the ambulance got there in time to save us). So they were willing to cut me a little slack. Though I'm pretty sure Mr. Bloom gave me a look that said 'if you hurt my son I will find you and I will kill you.' Come to think of it, Wes' dad actually does look a little like Liam Neeson…
Anyway, it isn't the legality that bothers Kim but the fact that she thinks he's just too young for me, that he stirs up drama wherever he goes, that he's self-destructive. I tried to argue that he isn't any of those things (okay, he might be a little too young for me), but she cut me off and told me she doesn't care, that no matter what she says I'm going to do whatever I want anyway so all she wanted was for me to know how she feels. I took it to heart, because her opinion matters to me, but filed it under the category 'Kim just doesn't understand him like I do', which seems to be a file that's steadily filling up.
Dating Wesley for the past couple of weeks has been a little strange. First of all, he has a curfew. Second of all, I pick him up from school sometimes. I do feel pretty envious of him though when I do - he looks like a total badass being picked up from school by his twenty-something boyfriend in a band. No one's as cool as Wesley, though. I'm still starstruck sometimes when I look at him, like I can hardly believe my luck. He's who I always wanted to be when I was his age - hell, I'd want to be him now. The more time we spend together the less he hides his combustible emotions. He doesn't need his mask anymore. Indifferent is boring. Indifferent isn't real. It's the real him I love, and he knows that. The more I love him the stronger he gets, like my validation is the only one that matters, and now that he has it he isn't afraid to be himself, or at least discover himself. Because he's still discovering himself everyday. That's the beauty of being young, finding yourself. I feel honored that I get to be there to watch him become who he's meant to be. It's like watching a flower bloom (heeyyy, I didn't even mean to make that pun!).
I don't know if we'll be together forever, I won't say that. I know that right now we're hopelessly in love, and everyday I wake up and can't wait to see him, talk to him, make love to him, but the world is always changing, people are always changing. I'm not very interesting, and one day, when he's become far more interesting than I am (because, let's face it, he's already more interesting than I am), he'll realize I'm no great shakes and that he's young and should be out there playing the field, finding someone who's more his equal. I'm no fool, I know that day will probably come. So for the time being I'm going to hang onto every day and every night with him like it's the last, because it could be. After all, we could all die in a car crash tomorrow, right?
A/N: What a wild and crazy journey it's been, eh? So, that's the end, ladies and gentlemen! Thank you to everyone who subscribed and followed and favorited. You're all rockstars in my book ;) Leave your love in the comments. I've started working on a sequel to this story, basically just the same story but in Wesley's POV. Since I only upload stories once I've finished them it might be a little while before that's up, so bear with me!
Love and love and love,