So, every story needs a starting point, right? To give you a better idea or something, I'm not sure but I suppose a clear starting point what help understand better. So this will be the starting point, I'll get to writing certain events that happened which I feel need to be recorded if I'm writing about myself.

I added some of these events to my calendar for memories sake and I'm glad I did. The rest, I'll be searching through old messages, so here goes;

June, 2016

So, I think the best point to start this story might be the first time I felt I'd really asked a girl out. It's kinda dumb and I guess technically it I never said it'd be a date or anything and she probably only saw it as a night out with a friend from work. (Which, actually I'll elaborate on this once my whole mood of asking, for the first time, a girl out even if it wasn't really like "Yo, I kinda like you so let's go out on a date."

It was June, the beginning of winter for us Australians. Not only was Winter beginning but Vivid, a festival of LED lights was also beginning in Sydney. Now for those of you who don't know, Vivid is I think considered pretty romantic, strolling through the city with different types of beautifully lit up designs. Yep, pretty romantic.

Anyway, probably the most romantic attraction of all would have been the lights set up at the Cathedral, God, there were thousands of LED lights set up to form this tunnel of light that many people would stroll through, hand in hand or arms linked. It was simply beautiful. From the pictures I'd seen of it anyway, I'd never actually been.

Anyway, as if it was fate I had been talking to a friend who I hadn't seen since high school. Now I only graduated the September before this so it's not like it was that long since we'd seen each other. The two of us decided since it'd been awhile to go to Vivid together, she'd already been but wanted to go again because her boyfriend at the time hadn't been before either.

So at that point I was going to be the third wheel, not that I minded much because I was super excited to finally go since my other friends were busy with uni and other stuff and never had time to play anymore. I also thought it'd be fun to third wheel because if I was the third wheel it'd only be natural for me to take photos of the happy lovey-dovey couple and I kinda was interested in seeing what I could do with the lighting and such, so no problem.

But of course, my friend felt bad about me third wheeling and told me to invite some friends. Ha, I thought. Thinking about it, I didn't really have any friends to invite. Like I said, they were either too busy or had already been and couldn't be bothered going a second time. Who was I going to invite?

But as I contemplated this thinking it didn't matter because I simply wanted to take pictures of the couple I remembered that early that morning I'd gotten a surprise message from a girl I work with. It was nothing too major, just asking about if I remembered her roster (which for the record, at that time I didn't). Because of that we sent a couple messages before I let it die (I actually was very happy but had no idea what else to write).

After much contemplation and constant backspacing I finally decided, 'fuck it, I will just invite her normally', which even then I was still incredibly nervous sending it.

"Yo dude, you been to vivid?"

I actually couldn't get my head over the fact that I had just asked out a girl! I'd actually done it, I really asked her out. My first time ever asking someone out and, wow I really done it! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS OH MY GOD I REALLY DID IT, I REALLY DID! HOLY SHIT DUDE WHAT THE FUCK OH MY FUCK DUDE WHAT?!

"Is that the thing with the lights and stuff on the Opera house and those laser things
That was soooo crap last year :o"

That was not the response I had been expecting and took me by surprise, after thinking it over for a couple seconds, which actually felt like minutes, I decided to just play it cool and natural,

"Wow dude I was gonna ask if you wanted to come and you just calling it crap"

Yep, that's fine. That's totally fine. It's good, cool and natural just like I wanted.

"HAHAHAHA I'm sorry :o I thought you wanted to know what it was like before you went :( I'm sorrrrry"

I actually still to this day, have no idea if she was seriously apologising to me or not. I wasn't seriously offended by it or anything but looking back I guess it could've been taken that way. Not only that but this was the day she first messaged me, other than that we hadn't talked much except the usual "Hi, how are you?" yadayada you say to be polite and whatever and even this was pretty minimal, if that.

We continued messaging each other and in the end she'd already made plans to go out Saturday night. Ugh. How could I not have thought of that? It wasn't even a week notice and I completely did not take into consideration that she had friends. I really, don't know how I didn't think of that. I was a little disappointed but at the same time I felt kinda happy because as we were messaging she did tell me something about herself that she thought was embarrassing, I just thought it was cute she thought it was embarrassing and didn't really care myself, I mean, I thought what she told me was pretty normal.

Admittedly though, I had been fantasizing about it, the two of us on a date. Whether we'd hold hands or link arms. It's actually kinda embarrassing thinking about it. I mean, at this time I'd had an interest in her for a while and with the way she replied I thought that maybe I kinda had a chance. I didn't really take into account that maybe she just wanted a friend from work.

NOTE: I kept our original messages we sent to each other exactly as we wrote them AND I ALSO FORGOT THAT SHE USES A LOT OF EMOJIS IN HER MESSAGES