Bee assassin number twenty-one, journal part one.

I'm literally furious right now.

I think I am going to cry.

i found a baby puppy the other day. He was adorable with brown fur and white spots over his ears and nose. His paws were black and so was his tail

too cute.

i picked him up from the gutter where I found him and wondered where his mother was. " are you all alone" I asked him.

When the puppy answered " that's right bee" i knew he was like me. All alone. And I knew we were meant to be friends, and perhaps be a little less lonely for a little while.

I took him home with me, wrapping him in my jacket so he wouldn't be cold.

We spoke the entire time.

it was a two hour friendship that lasted forever. I was happy. I guess. Something I don't usually feel as an assassin of the h group, kidnapped like everyone else at age five.

"How'd you get so precious," I asked

" when god made me," the puppy replied, "he made me out of faerie dust and rainbows."

"you're adorable. Just adorable. Do you think I'm made out of rainbows."

"of course god told me you're made from a rainbow blessed by the horn of a unicorn. He said he made you beautiful and wanted us to meet so we could keep each other company."

" Why are we here little puppy."

" Well I don't know bee. No one does. We just are. Why'd you ask such a funny question."

" Just sad I guess. Cause I'm here and I dont want to be."

"don't say that bee. I love you. God loves you. We love you. We re here and that's all there is to that."

"thank you puppy. You remind me of me. Waking up in the darkness with no one around. All alone. That's why I saved you. So you could know what a hug feels like."

"you're the best bee absolutely the best."

i smiled, carrying the puppy in my arms through the dark corridors of hgroup headquarters. We were located underground and I was just passing by the entrance to the sewers, where most of the training occurred for the children. I remembered my own training, the dark sewers. The gun in my hand. The bullet entering my victim. I felt tears in my eyes. The poor little puppy was just like me. A game of survival that animals played was very similar to the assassins life underground. Living life at the expense of our prey.

poor puppy.

and in another world poor me.

When I got to my room, a barracks both men and women assassins alike shared. I set the puppy on my bed. "I love you " I told him. Then he exploded.

i frowned. The puppy's remains were splattered on the bed.

I guess I can't complain. I'm no motherly type. And I don't think I could've done much better than the assassin that shot him in taking care of my dearest puppy and at least he was in heaven with god now. So I'm not mad. Well I'm furious and sad and crying but I don't hold it against bob the terrible, assassin number fifty for shooting my puppy friend on sight. . Im not mad. Not mad.

I held back tears staring at my puppy's dead remains.

dear god

I Don't know why my puppy had to die.

maybe you loved him so much you wanted to see him as soon as you could. Guess you couldn't wait.

guess puppy wasnt the one.

i love you god

i hate you.

please let me find a friend someday.

you don't know what it's like to be so lonely you want to cry.