O Lord and God of my salvation,
How did it come to pass that
The gift of love you gave to me
Was so harshly ripped away?
When I had loved what was despised
You gave me all I asked.
My heart exulted at the prize
And all I wanted was now mine.
But even more than this,
You gave a heart so bold, so free,
Yet humble to its core
And self-giving in its love.
Yet love's object stole away from me,
And I hung on by but a thread, invisible at that.
What treachery, O Lord, that you placed her in my arms,
And let her tear away my heart.
You gave me every gift in her,
But her you took away.
What hate I feel for the love I felt was lost!
What anger I feel that you deprived me of my joy!
My joy! My joy! She is no more.
She will not stay! Naught will she say!
Naught is left but you to me
Whose trust you did betray!
How speak I thus, my Lord and God,
The giver of all good things?
I want only to know you love me yet,
In spite of human errs.
She was a gift, that is true,
I thank you, Lord, for this.
I sought her in betrayal of trust,
My heart scorned all constraint.
But thus my heart did learn your will,
Though yet feeble for to wait.
I pray you guide my heart back to
The freedom it did know.
To romp forth like the sun at play,
Its life to spread like seed.
For this I long, O Lord my God,
While trust remains impaired:
That I hold back no bit of me
When love is my love's due.
Am I so small to scorn you yet? I think it so, my Lord.
For I made the rule I'd not be hurt the way I was by her.
Let me not fail to kill that law that starved my joy of life.
Let me see how love holds me still, how my selfless heart was right.