Author's Note: This is an extremely strange script, and I'll tell you why. A long time ago (7th grade), I accidentally took a film class and it was a lot of fun. For our final project, we had to get into groups and create a Minecraft Machinima. This is the script for my group's project. (The final title actually wasn't SnowMG, but that was because someone from my group got really uptight and wanted a completely serious name.) Unfortunately, while we did get all of the filming and editing done, we lost all of the voice acting work we did, so you can't view it as it was intended. Thus, you may read the script here. Enjoy.


INT-MINESHAFT-DAY

PAULA is in a mine with her acquaintance JORGE (they don't really like each other). Paula expresses her dissatisfaction with the mine.

PAULA

I have always hated this

place…

JORGE

Do you want to flip a coin to see who rides in front?

PAULA

Sure. I call heads.

JORGE

(JORGE flips a coin… It lands on tails)

HA! I win

PAULA

Don't act like I haven't won every other time.

JORGE

Stop whining you big baby, you need to figure out when to shut up.

INT-MINECART TRAIN-DAY

The mine explodes as they ride in the minecart train. Jorge is killed in the explosion and so is everyone else. some strange item(SHAWARMA!)falls out of Jorge's pocket, Paula picks it up and runs out of the mine, and then goes back and steals the $5 Jorge owed her.

PAULA

(shrieks loudly)

he's dead

(falls into bush)

KING IRON FROST walks into view

KING IRON FROST

I'm so glad all those horrible miners are dead! Now I can be alone with my daughter and my snow golems.

PAULA begins to cry as KING IRON FROST leaves

PAULA

All this because a person with magic powers went insane. He's kinda creepy with his snow people.

EXT-FOREST-NIGHT

PAULA walks through forest and gets trapped in a pitfall trap. as a strange man walks up to the trap, he looks like a Hobo.

PAULA

Ow! What-?

SNOW-BO

Drat! Not a deer for my shawarma. what are you doing in my trap? Stupid girl!

PAULA

Why are you setting traps in the forest next to the mine? You insane old man! Besides, a pitfall is the least effective trap for a deer...

SNOW-BO

Now I have to knock you out and make you into shawarma, tasty girl.

(Unpaid intern drops the rock on her head)

UNPAID INTERN

Why am i still unpaid?! I have been working for you for 20 years!

SNOW-BO

Haha, because I no longer have government funding for the CIA ba- er, shawarma shop.

INT- SNOW-BO'S HOUSE-TIME- LATE

As Paula wakes up in a chair made of duct tape and she is bound with wood, she notices Snow-Bo looking at her, like a hungry Weirdo...

PAULA

Why are you looking at me like that?

SNOW-BO

I'm hungry girl, and you look tasty.

PAULA

(PAULA screams in terror)

HOLY NARG NARG!

SNOW-BO

I'm just kidding. I only like shawarma. Now COME! we have a training montage to do! I will help you kill king Iron Frost, I saw you crying in a bush plus he stole my best friend, Doctor Whooves.

EXT- SNOW-BO'S TRAINING GROUND-DAY

Roll the montage! (Du Hast Mesh that turns into Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up is the background music)

SNOW-BO

I have taught you well my young padawan.

UNPAID INTERN

What about me!

PAULA

What is this?! Star Wars?

SNOWBO

Possibly. And if it was?

PAULA

(PAULA at loss of words)

Then he is Darth Vader and I'm Luke.

SNOW-BO

So he's your father?

PAULA

What?! NO,I KNEW MY FATHER! His name was Bond, James Bond. (Insert Bond theme here)

EXT-WAY TO IRON FROST'S PALACE-DAY

Roll the walking montage (insert questing theme here [preferably from Legend of Zelda])

SNOW-BO

Come on little girl we are going to kill the creepy snow guy-thing.

(PAULA and SNOW-BO fight some SNOW GOLEMS commanded by P.F., and get to the THRONE ROOM)

KING IRON FROST

WHO DARES ENTER MY CASTLE OF ICE AND DOOM?!

PAULA

DAT IS MMMMMEEEEEHHHHH!

SNOW-BO

And also me, but no one pays attention to me, so… just Paula then.

KING IRON FROST

Whatever I will kill you fools anyway. NOW DIE!

(KIF clonks PAULA with large stick/snowman arm and the SHAWARMA OF POWER falls out of her pocket along with the five $ she took from Jorge)

PAULA

Nooooooooooooo! My 5 dollars!

SNOW-BO

NOT THE SHAWARMA!

SHAWARMA pulls K.I.F. into wormhole it created, it was his only weakness. He throws his SHARP STICK THING at SNOW-BO.

KING IRON FROST

I'LL AT LEAST TAKE ONE OF YOU WITH ME !

P.F.

NOOOOOO! DAD!

SNOW-BO

I'M TOO OLD TO DIE! MY SOCIAL SECURITY ISN'T DONE YET!

UNPAID INTERN

NO! I LOVE YOU SNOW-BO!

UNPAID INTERN catches the stick and pushes KIF into the wormhole with ONE PUNCH[!], dying

SNOW-BO

Ewwwwww NO! I HAVE A WIFE. AND HER NAME IS JOHN CENA. (JOHN CENA THEME PLAYS)

YOU MET HER AT MY COCKTAIL PARTY!

PAULA

There goes my fanfiction… WAIT, WEREN'T WE KILLING A GUY OR SOMETHING?

UNPAID INTERN

HELLOOOO CAN WE STOP TALKING ABOUT YOUR WIFE! I'M DYING HERE! (Turns into A MAGIC GUIDE ROCK FOR OTHER UNPAID INTERNS)

FIN

(CUE SHAWARMA PARTY)

(SNOW-BO DIES OF A HEART ATTACK AT SHAWARMA PARTY He Gets DOCTOR WHOOVES back.)

UNPAID INTERN'S ROCK

SERIOUSLY?

NARRATOR

And so our story comes to a close

princess frosty became the queen of ice and snow and she was fair and kind. for paula's fate she became the new owner of Snow-bo's shwarma shop

and gained a her own intern (jacobe?)

and the intern guide rock lead them to greatness and they lived on for greater adventures but for those tales, well let's save them for another day. and everyone became good friends over

their love for they all lived in peace for the rest of their mortal lives. THE END

Camera zooms in on [REGULAR LOOKING] BOOK [NAMED DEATH NOTE]

Roll the credits!

(CREDITS MUSIC IS STAR WARS THEME)