Have You Ever Felt It?
Have you ever felt it? That exact moment when love's slender tendrils first gained a tenuous hold on your heart? Do you remember what it was like to feel it digging deeper? Do you remember it spreading its warmth through you and taking your soul along with it?
Have you ever felt it when something unidentifiable brushed against your very being? How it just seemed to steal your breath and then leave you standing there with no words?
We close ourselves off so tight, holding the edges of our masks together so that no one can see the depth of feeling within. But occasionally something, or someone, breaks through. Punching through our emotional armor and finding that deep dark well within.
Oh how we struggle to both evict and hold on.
We are uncomfortable and threatened by the intrusion but the companionship, the hold on something that just might be real, is too appealing. We shout for them to leave and then stand in their way of the door.
Why is the feeling of love so abhorrent? Why do we fear it and yet seek it out?
I know why.
Because love is so all encompassing, so comforting, so desired, that we fear losing it.
It takes too much of us with it when it is torn away and we fear that gaping wound. The ragged edges and raw agony are the only things that come to our minds and so we shy away from making any real connection.
We abhor love because we fear pain.
But do not despair. It can be overcome. We can find that blissful feeling of being loved.
By giving of our own love.
It can be likened to putting money into an account. We send out our love and then it sits inside of others, gaining interest and building on itself. And then one day, the account is full and we find it coming back to us. But now it is bigger, it is stronger, and it is deeper.
There is a famous saying in Latin.
Ut ameris, amabilis esto.
It is short but so deeply profound. It simply means: If you want to be loved, be lovable.
To be scarred by past hurts does not mean that you cannot show love yourself.
Do not let the scars hold you back, do not shut yourself away from the world, do not wait for the pain to subside before you open yourself again. Because someone will see you, truly see you, and they will see what you have to offer. And they will ask you to let down your walls.
By letting yourself feel that love, by letting someone in, then they can soothe the ache and help to prop you up until the emotional limp disappears.
And then the best thing happens. You find that it does not hurt as much if you have someone there to help. The ragged edges become smoother and the agony dwindles away.
Do not fear love, my friends, fear its absence in your hearts.
Love seeks out others of its kind and it goes where it is needed.
So love if you want to be loved. It is the only gift that must be returned whenever it is given.
Have you ever felt it? That moment when love sparked somewhere deep down?
Maybe not. At least not yet. But do not fear. You will. One day you will.