The revenge files no.1: Robert's story
Kill 'em with kindness


Bullies. Nobody wants them, but we've all got to deal with them at some point in our lives. Some of their unfortunate victims dream of getting revenge on their oppressors, but don't do it for various reasons. This person decided to stop dreaming and start doing. This is Robert's story.


Robert sighed wearily as he trudged into school on a bleak, rainy October morning. He was going to get beaten up today, and he knew it. It was all because of Steven McGregor, the toughest guy in school, and cooking class.

He wasn't even trying to make Steven angry either. He was just trying to give him a couple of tips on how to make lasagne better, and the next thing he knew, he was on Steven's death list. Ever since Robert had tried to teach Steven to cook, Steven and his gang had been beating him up after school for months. They even beat him up on the weekends because they knew where he lived. It wasn't Robert's fault he was good at cooking, either. His family owned a huge restaurant and did a lot of the cooking themselves, which meant that making dishes really was in his blood. Someday, he hoped to inherit the family restaurant.

Casting the motivational image of him managing the family restaurant aside, Robert turned on his heel and walked to food technology (10 minutes before the bell, the way he always did) and set out his ingredients. He had a plan to get Steven McGregor off his back forever. If it didn't work, then he was officially screwed. But if it did, then he'd never have to worry about Steven McGregor again.

He put his plan into action after school, when Steven and his friends would be 'meeting him' behind the school, just like they always did.

"Hey, Chef Wimp, surprised you're here. I thought you'd be, like, cooking something right about now," Steven sneered, smirking cruelly as his friends around him roared with laughter. Robert blushed slightly, but kept his cool. If he lashed out now, the plan wouldn't work.

"That's the thing, Steven, I came here with some food for you. You know, as a peace offering," Robert said nervously, reaching into a recyclable shopping bag and pulling out a box of chocolate muffins. "Why don't you try them? They were freshly made this afternoon."

Steven seemed suspicious as he pulled out a muffin and sniffed it, but that all changed as he bit into it. "Whoa, this stuff is amazing! Guys, you've got to try this!"

Hearing this, the rest of Steven's gang pounced on the muffins and consumed every single muffin in minutes. Steven, being the leader, ate the most, but everyone else ate at least 5 muffins each. And since those were some pretty big muffins, and Robert baked 40 of them in total, it was not much of a surprise that, only 10 minutes later, the entire gang were leaning against the walls of the school with a pretty serious case of stomach ache.

"Ugh . . . oh, man, I feel awful," Steven groaned. "My stomach feels like I just ate an entire Christmas dinner."

"Wow, you really did eat a lot," Robert observed. "I'd advise sleeping it off, or maybe taking a couple of digestion pills. That's what I do whenever I eat too much, and it never fails." Hearing this, the once blood-thirsty gang groaned, and stumbled off to their respective homes sluggishly. Robert watched them leave from the shadows, satisfied. Now the first part of the plan had been completed successfully, he knew that the second part would come off without a hitch. Once the gang had left his line of sight, he walked home, whistling a jolly tune to himself.


The next day, nobody from Steven's gang showed up to school. The teachers were puzzled by their disappearance, and asked as many people as they could, but nobody knew where they'd gone. If anything, the students of the school were more puzzled by the gang's disappearance than the teachers. But as far as the students were concerned, if they weren't around it was good for them, so they didn't worry about it.

However, when they didn't go to school tomorrow or the day after that, alarm bells started to ring, and when they were reported dead by an anonymous caller, the police got involved. But when they were all found dead from a freak heart attack, and there was no evidence found to suggest foul play, the case was shuffled into a dusty old cabinet labeled NATURAL CAUSES.

Robert, sitting at the back of the classroom, quickly pulled a book out of his bag to hide the huge grin on his face. What nobody but he knew was that every single one of the muffins that Steven and his gang had eaten contained well more than a lethal dosage of a tasteless, odourless and unnamed poison that made it's victim look like they had died of a heart attack. In fact, there was at least 5 times the lethal amount found in each and every one of the innocent-looking muffins. The school bullies that had made Robert's life a living hell for months on end weren't ever coming back to class.


So, dear readers, did you like reading the first story in the revenge files, or would you rather wait for others to come forth with more tales of vengeance? Let me know in the reviews section and I'll find another person willing to tell their story. Until then, I bid you farewell.