"Pride"

I wonder why I wake up sometimes.

I know all I do is ruin others' life's.

This is me, the monster you see.

You're afraid of me?

Do you know that,

I can never get away from the monster inside me?

It's the real demon.

It's the real monster.

It's the monster you see, not me.

I can never escape it.

Never out run it.

Never flee.

Never leave.

Because it won't leave me.

It haunts me at night and comes for me in my nightmares.

It shows itself in daylight and runs away after the damage is dealt...

to leave me with what It had done.

Not me.

It.

It's what you're afraid of.

It's not taking any chances.

It's my monster.

It's my pride.

Because it's the one that's the monster.

I'm just it's host.

And once it takes me over and pushes everyone I love away,

Once it's ruined me and everything around me,

Once it's taken my life and destroyed everything I am.

Which isn't much.

It will go away, and leave me with the damage it'd done.

And when no one's looking, I cry.

I'm It.

It is me.

I push every away. Even those who just want to help.

I ruin my life and everyone around me.

I destroy everything I am.

Which isn't much.

I slowly come to terms with my stubborn pride. My annoying anger.

And leave myself with the damage I'd done.

At least I got my wish.

To be alone.

Help me.

Please.

I don't want to be alone anymore.