"It's one of those days," my coworker says as I walk into work. His computer's not working. Again. You'd think I'd have sympathy for the guy. But I don't. He pisses and moans and complains about pretty much everything.

I'm not entirely sure what he expects me to do. Give him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder and say "Aw. Poor baby. It'll be alright?" Or maybe "well, it's just one computer; I'm sure it'll give you more time to play on facebook. Oh and by the way, I hope you get caught doing it."

I sit down at my desk and pray to God he gets laid off. He wants out of this place and I want HIM out so I don't have to listen to him whine.

Instead I boot up my own computer and wait. A few minutes pass. He's pacified by social media for the moment and I breathe a quiet sigh of relief.


"It's one of those days." He repeats the phrase as though I didn't hear him the first time.

I turn around in my chair and calmly say:

"Shove it up your ass."