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The Deepest Ocean

By StarGlider

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An ocean so deep is my sadness
Drowning me
Pulling me this way, that way
Like the currents, the tides, the undertows
Where do I stand?
Am I down or up?
Throw me a life preserver
But I'm still in the water
The sadness, the fear, it hasn't been drained
The wind will only blow me further out
Or, even possibly, closer to shore
Floating at the surface for just a while
I feel so close to land
Until my sadness pulls me down
Miles below, water's pressure above me
Gallon after gallon, I just can't count
And when I reach the bottom
Is there no way to pull me up?
Tie a rope to my arm
And drag me to shore?
Or am I just too far down to be saved?
Do I drown in this endless sea?
The thoughts, the beliefs
Flowing by my head
Sad or happy, I can no longer tell
This deep dark ocean
Obscures what I see
How I think
But how can that ever change
When I can't even see the sky?
Or the birds taking wing?
The sun's warming glow?
Beautiful dusk colors in the sky?
What does it matter
When all you see
Is the darkness that surrounds you
Your own despair?
You eyes have been trained
There is no such thing as happiness
Besides a distant memory
Like a sailor remembers the shore
It barely matters to me anymore
So if I'm so far under
Does the pressure just slowly kill me?
Do I let the ocean whisk away my soul?
Maybe...
When the world is too much, perhaps
I'll let it take me
For death can be a welcome thing
As opposed to living so far from land
And when there's nothing but black all around
And the line between life and death
So thin
Do I cut the string, just like that?
Let my depression drift away
With the passing current?
Is it so easy to let it all go?
Letting go of what I have now
For something so much more glorious?
Rid the world of myself
Maybe it's the only way
Because when your so far down
You can't see the sky
Are you seeing life at all?

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