Chapter 1: A Wizard is Born
The wizard was sitting in his recliner, sipping his favorite alcoholic beverage. It had been another tough week at work. The wizard was nearly friendless and an unlucky fellow. His job at the office was a joke, at least, to him. But, now he was watching his favorite romance movie and resting.
When the movie was over, he turned off the television set. It had been years, since he had thought of romance. Those stupid fools and their childish pursuits. He took another sip of beer, pulled out his pocket notebook, and read a name: Richard Jewel. The man was a loud mouthed blowhard. Always bragging about the women he's scored with and he was always bullying his co-workers. Even the wizard, himself, had fallen victim to Richard's abuse.
It was just last week that the wizard had to do Richard's report for him. Their boss the Pig had been impressed with Richard's report (really the wizard's report) and promoted Richard.
Now, that weasel was the wizard's boss and Sally Peters was going to belong to Richard.
Everyone in the office liked Sally. She wore nylons and miniskirts. Her shirts were tight around her bosom, showing off her ample breasts.
The wizard knew that he did not have a chance of scoring with Sally Peters or any other woman. He was too ugly and too subhuman for women to truly like him. Some would try to use him and take advantage of his intelligence or some would flirt with him to try to get him to open up his wallet for them. These women had played around with the jocks, the good-looking jerks, who only knocked them up and dumped them. Once the fun guys had their fill of the women they moved on. Many ugly men, like the wizard, settled for these kind of women. They sacrificed their dignity and for what? To raise some other man's children?
As I said before the wizard was above all of this. He was no longer interested in the affairs of mere mortals, for he had found a book that changed his life – The Handbook of Characters. The back cover read:
Are you tired of the real world? Is your life dull and boring? Why not make it a roleplaying game! Be the character of your dreams! Make your reality a fantastic journey! Make everyone in your life a fantasy character. This book will instruct you on how to detach yourself from reality.
The wizard found comfort in this. At first it was hard, because his co-workers and friends would not call him the wizard. But, the book taught him that his name meant wizard in his new fantasy realm. When someone says your name, what they are really saying is your new title or profession. So when you hear your name being said just dub over your name with your new fantastic profession.
It took some time, but the wizard finally mastered the technique. Now, when people talked, the wizard heard what he wanted to hear, not what people were really saying.
The wizard smiled. Even though he had given into Richard's bullying, things were going to change. He was ready to use his magic to get revenge against anyone who had ever wronged him.