Ethan Blueberry's sci-fi story

This is a story written by a friend of mine a few years back. He wrote these chapters in two days, then abandoned this story forever. Either review this chapter by chapter or in its entirety. Its all up to you. Disregarding grammar and formatting, what do you think about this story?

Chapter 1

"It would seem appropriate that someone of your calibre joins our cause," he started.

Leo took a quick glance around the dull grey walls of the room; it held little to catch his attention. Leo's gaze reverted back to the man. He wore a brownish overall made out of fur and he held in his hand a golden pendulum.

"You know, we could use a little help back on Earth. A lot has changed since you left," the man paused, as if thinking of something. He paced around the room, walking in circles around Leo.

"We hate to admit it but, we need you right now. We didn't think much of your leave but believe me you are very very special."

Leo's eyes widened as the man rustled his beard, an ominous shadow cast upon his eyes such that Leo could not make out the colour of them.

"You aren't convinced, are you. We have time to waste, so you're coming with us." Darkness edged itself back into Leo's vision.

"Nice to meet you Leo, I am J.R Smith, commander of the first world fleet."

It was then that the man appeared to Leo as who he was. He extended his hand to shake Leo's.

The teenager stood stunned, not being able to move his limbs.

"Apologies Leo, must have added a little too much powder into that one." Smith managed to chuckle before the boy's whole world went dark.

At the far end of the galaxy, a robed man sauntered down a dark path his gaze in the direction of the ground. It wasn't much of a stroll in any way at all actually. That man walked with purpose and direction.

The planet Spion was indeed quite large, taking his fighter 3 minutes flying at the speed of light to go from one end to the planet to the other. Spion was inhabited by 3 metre tall monalisks, rat-fish like creatures which are just about the most ugliest things anyone has ever seen. Humans have come to inhabit the place due to the prevalence of Disanium on the planet's surface and a substantial mining business was set up on Spion, proving to be the system's largest metal exporter. The mining business did have its fair share of risk though. Meteor showers were a common occurrence and monalisks often devoured unsuspecting humans.

The robed man finally arrived at his destination, a dwelling. The streets were now filled with people but none paid any attention to the man. He went to the back of the two storey house which looked just like any other and fished out his x-ray beam. Within mere moments he materialised inside the house which was a little too small for his liking.

"White walls, green sofa, blue wall clock. Looks just about right." The man thought to himself before he headed upstairs, as instructed.

"Dad, is that you?" The man realised that his presence was being detected.

It came from a room upstairs.

"Mmmhmmm." He managed a reply as he stood outside the girl's bedroom.

He checked his equipment one last time.

"Tranquilizer gun, check."

The man held the x-ray beam firm in his hand and zapped himself into the room. He raised the stun gun after locating the girl. Her eyes opened wide in shock but before she managed to open her mouth to scream she was already out cold, her body collapsing on the wooden floor.

The man joyed little at his success. He was armed to the teeth whereas the girl was well, not prepared at all.

"Somebody has to do the dirty job," he whispered as he laid down a teleporter next to the latter, the two disappeared completely from sight, rays of blue light swept across the house. Mission complete.

"Commander, I got the girl." Smith heard from this lieutenant over the transmission. Smith grinned at his lieutenant's success.

"Very good, meet you at moonbase charlie." The lieutenant nodded before the transmission ended. Smith stood tall at the the bridge of his starship, glancing out to the endless void of space beyond him. He waved his officer to his side. He called upon Jones, one of his most trusted men.

"Jones tell me, do you believe in the power of will?" The officer looked as if he was used to this type of questioning from the commander.

"I certainly do sir." And he was used to answering from his heart.

"Well that's very nice to hear. I am putting all of my trust into those two. It's certainly scary to think of what is about to happen next." Smith relaxed his stance and rustled his beard, his mind deep in thought.

Abducting 15 year old girls from their homes was not what lieutenant Davis usually did, but alas he did it anyway. The girl was still out cold, Jewel Airhart he was told is the girl's name. Davis could not help but notice the girl's beauty while she was asleep. Davis wondered how this 15 year old had the ability to save the Earth from complete and total annihilation. Perhaps that was the greatest mystery.

Moonbase charlie was located in the Tysra system, on one of mona's moons. It was about a quarter the size of Earth and was full of life. Surface temperatures measured an average 15 degree celsius, appropriate for human life to say the least. It's atmosphere however was not as welcoming. Acidic gases surrounded the moon, and would often consume poorly built satellites and spacecraft. Lieutenant Davis arrived first and proceeded to move the still unconscious Jewel to the conference room. He lay her down on the couch by the side and left the room.