Notes: Wanted to continue my little one-shot series i got going on, though you don't really need to read the others to understand this. Beware smut in the next chapter and thanks for reading!
It seemed as though things were normal, when I tried my hardest to focus. He was laughing at the screen illuminating the fairly dark room, a throaty chuckle that I could feel in my chest. After the fact of taking in so much smoke as the green was heavenly, albeit strong in potency. This was where the fun started, fingers stained with the smell of burnt papers and eyes slightly red.
Mere moments ago I was standing outside his house, hiding in the backyard so the neighbours wouldn't see – but that was part of the exhilaration, knowing others could see you when you do something 'bad'. I knew there was a bottle of rum Adam routinely stole from in the pantry, refilling it with dark pop every once in a while. Though it was easy to see why he would want to indulge in such a pleasure, feeling the numbness creep up slowly as the alcohol invades your senses. How the receptors react in such a way that makes you feel oh so hot even though you're really not.
I wanted him to make me hot.
It was just so easy to take in a couple drags, feeling the light burn cascade down my throat as the sun began to set, creating a palate of creamy pinks in the sky. It was a calming factor in the experience, watching as the breeze moved the clouds at a slow pace; I could feel his gaze on me the whole time. Pupils wide, an intense stare that almost made me drop the toke when I passed it to his steady hands.
It made me hot.
There was no reason for us to be so shy, his mom had gone to work an hour ago and wouldn't be home till morning. No reason for hesitancy, no reason for the held back temperament he displayed towards me.
All I wanted was for him to say my name in that rough bedroom voice of his. Fuck, it was so hard to think. Everything was tingling on my skin. I could feel the material of my shirt and jeans clinging, heart pounding against my ribcage - it was a wonder Adam couldn't hear it. The comforter on his bed was so soft, the patches of blue contrasted with black stripes. He had laughed at me earlier when I was brushing my teeth and giggling at the same time, but he joined in anyway, telling me I was a one-of-a-kind type of girl.
I almost jumped out of my trance when he turned the TV off and turned on the antique radio he had on his nightstand. It was the classic rock station that we usually listened to while hanging out. But all I could think about while Boston echoed in the background was the incident that had occurred months ago. How I was now sitting in the position in which I had saw him indulge in guilty pleasures, all while hiding behind his bedroom door.
I knew there was no good rationale that could explain why I had done such a thing; he made me lose all resolve to keep the trust and privacy that we had in our friendship. Watching your best friend masturbate, hearing such sounds come from his lips and the moans – fuck it made me weak. Let's just say that my little crush hadn't been so innocent since then.
All I could imagine in my head was his hands roaming over my bare skin, a bright flush overtaking my chest and checks as his lips followed in place of calloused hands. Cushioned in the spot where I had seen him shake with desire and ache with want, similar to how I was acting as this moment.
We were both sitting on his bed, perpendicular to his pillows and backs against the wall.
It wasn't as if we hadn't engaged in this sort of behaviour before; relaxing on a Friday night and just listening to music while his mom worked a back-shift. The sense altering substance wasn't overly new either...his older brother who was away at college sometimes left a little whenever he came to visit.
I wasn't going to complain, though the high this time felt...different.
Everything was tingling, every inch of skin inside and outside, fuck I've never wanted him more than in this moment.
oh my god –
I could feel my cheeks heat up, creating waves of warmth I was sure that Adam could feel. What the hell was going on? I hadn't ever felt this wound up before...
"Feeling okay over there?"
His soft dulcet tones travelled my way, and I shyly glanced up at him, prying a smile onto my face.
"Yeah...uh just a little...woozy?"
He gave a sly grin in response, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. "My brother did say it would be a little stronger than usual."
I rolled my eyes, "No shit."
Adam's grin grew and he let out a breath, cheeks lightly stained pink. "Are you sure you're okay Claire?"
His dark eyes implored mine, and I couldn't help but bite down a sigh of my own. There must have been a hell of a blush on my face; he would have to be oblivious not to notice. Dammit. His voice calling out my name was bewitching, and I couldn't help but ache for the sound of him moaning it out once again...
I turned away and hung my head, humming in response to his question. I didn't trust myself to speak at the moment; it would come out breathy in need. It's not like I didn't know about the things teenagers did while home alone, engaged in such carnal pleasure that didn't have any of the commitment or awareness of what may occur in the aftermath. How the consequences would affect things to come, I knew I worried too much sometimes but I didn't want to ruin the friendship we had over this 'little crush' of mine.
Hell, I had liked and admired Adam for about two years now, and my voyeurism stint a couple weeks ago didn't help at all to satiate my feelings. Seeing him loose it in such a beautiful way...I couldn't help but crave that sort of touch he used on himself. I wanted his hands on me, caressing and touching – everywhere – a flurry of desire that would wrap us up in a bubble of heat and 'pop' with a crescendo of sound as my voice would echo off the walls.
My skin felt warm and he wasn't even touching me...It was so hard to stand, being close enough to touch him, yet he was so metaphorically far away.
I wanted Adam to make me hot.
"Hey." I started at the sound of his voice and the cool brush of his hands upon mine as he stopped me from wringing them together.
I froze, and my lips parted as I hesitantly looked at him.
He raised his eyebrows in a prying manner, "Claire...are you sure you're doing alright? I feel like it's affecting you more than me, you can lie down if you want –
I shifted in my spot, feeling the sparks flare up my arm from the way his thumbs were rubbing against the back of my hands. He could probably feel my pulse, the blood pumping through my veins. Opening my mouth I tried to speak, but I didn't know how to explain the dirty thoughts running rampant.
I closed my eyes instead.
"Adam I...I can't deal with what I'm thinking about right now, and this warm feeling and you being right next to me. It's just...I want..."
There was a long pause as I broke off, unable to continue my thoughts in fear that he would judge me, or think of me differently. I couldn't take it anymore. His hands slowly pulled away and I felt the loss immediately, clenching my eyes tighter together and waiting for his response. I felt the bed shift, and I held my breath.
My apprehensiveness was broken when I felt warmth against my cheek; his palm cradling the side of my face.
Surprise had me open my eyes, while subconsciously leaning into his touch. My surprise was echoed in his face as he sat in front of me now, dark eyes wide and calculating, a slight blush high on his own cheeks. He was so close and it was intoxicating. It was hard to resist the way his presence made me feel, my body ached for him, for his embrace. When his thumb started to lightly brush against my cheek, my eyes got heavy at the sensation.
It was hard not to let out such a breathy sigh at the caress, he was making me feel so much all at once, and certainly made me want his touch in an unfriendly manner.
I spoke, then. Foregoing any retrospection in the moment, though quiet as the music still played in the background.
"I want more."
His palm slid down to my shoulder, and he maintained a firmer grip as a furrow developed between his brows.
"Claire? You want more? More what?"
Losing my nerve at the look on his face, I turned my gaze downwards in guilt. "N-nothing. It's nothing, maybe you were right and I should lie down."
Adam didn't seem too convinced, if anything he looked more worried. "Hey now, you can tell what's going on Claire. You sound stressed. You're always helping me, so I want to return the favor..."
I let out a snort at his comment; he could so help me right now if the throbbing between my legs was any indication. Squirming under his intense gaze I gathered the courage to go for it, hell if I didn't tell him now than when would there be a good time?
Quickly maneuvering so I was sitting on my knees, I surged forwards to wrap my arms around his neck and pressed a chaste kiss against his cheek, lingering slightly. He seemed startled at first, and then slowly circled his arms around my back as we were pressed together. Heart beating so loud, I didn't understand how it hadn't given me away yet. Fuck. I was pretty much straddling him at this point.
"Adam, I...I want you. To touch me. I want you to...touch me."
Voice stuttering next to his ear, hot waves of embarrassment had me continue to cling to him in fear of a response. His body tensed when I spoke, his head craning back to look me in the eye.
He sucked in a breath, pupils wide and dark. "Claire," he began in awe, swallowing audibly, "Are you –
"Adam, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked you that. I know I'm just your best friend, and I don't want to ruin that –
I could feel my eyes start to water, and I bit my lip as he shook his head, hands putting more pressure against my lower back. I saw his eyes flash
"Claire you, you couldn't be more wrong." Pulling me close, I felt every single small movement reverberate through my body. Every pull of sinuous muscle through our clothes, the comfort of his body against mine.
I already knew what he looked like underneath his shirt, lean and solid with just a touch of chest hair. His back and shoulders wider than mine, stronger, and I just wanted to touch him...I was burning up sitting on his thighs.
Adam let out a sigh of his own against my ear, "You are my best friend, but for...a while now, I've wanted to tell you how I actually felt." Those words were washing over me, and I could feel myself being dragged under slowly.