Chap 7 - Tell Me I'm Pretty

"Sorry about this, Philip…", said Josh, the Raceland High School Prom Queen, to the King.

"Don't worry about it. You know why they're doing this, right?"

"Uhm…"

"They want to see me freak out about having to dance with another guy."

"Oh. Well, look-" Josh began.

"I say we give 'em a show", Philip said with a faintly evil smile, "Something they'll remember forever. You up for that?"

"Well… I guess… if you are. Whoops, that's our music. Here we go."


Josh and Caleb left the prom early in order to get to the gang's after-prom party at Caleb's house, forty miles away. Caleb's home was riverfront, with a little dock for his father's oyster-boat. The other side of the river - facing West - was endless wetland. The house was ideally situated for an evening party.

Josh was driving them in his SUV. Caleb remained silent until they were out on the highway.

"Did you have to kiss him like that? Jesus..." Caleb asked. He was irked, which is just a little less than 'pissed'. The kiss after the dance ended had been on the mouth, long, and to all appearances, very passionate. There had been no tongue involved, but of course no one but Philip and Josh knew that.

"First of all, he was kissing me. And second, it was just an act. He was trying to shock everybody because they all assumed that he'd freak about having to dance with me at all. Sounded to me like it worked - I heard a lot of gasping going on."

"Yeah, shocked me too. And the way you were looking at him… god damn, Josh…" Josh and Philip had been looking deep into each other's eyes during the whole dance. Philip's face was stone-like, but then his face always looked that way. He was captain of the wrestling and football teams. Josh, however, had looked convincingly… dreamy.

"You've seen me make that face before, Caleb. That was 'bedroom eyes'. I was just playing along, give me a break. Philip is about as straight as a boy can get, trust me. That's why they wanted to see him dancing with me. That's probably the only reason they even made me Prom Queen."

"Yeah, I could see that he didn't enjoy it. But you did. You had a hard-on", Caleb accused.

Josh had forgotten that Caleb had spent most of his life checking out guys crotches. "Well, yeah… I mean fuck, how could I not? Slow-dancing with this huge muscular guy, holding each other tight… I can't exactly control that, y'know? He didn't have one though. Oh… oh wait…" Josh stalled as a new thought occurred to him, "Caleb… you're jealous! Oh my god!" Josh began to giggle.

"No! … Well, a little. He was fondling your butt, too. And you didn't stop him. So yeah, it just looked like you were having way too much fun."

"Okay, well, I was - but it wasn't 'sexy' fun, okay? It was just 'acting' fun. It was so hard to keep a straight face when he did that. Not exactly the gentlest fondle I've ever had, either. I kind of feel sorry for his girlfriends. Super strong hands, y'know. I hope he didn't leave marks on my butt where he squeezed it."

"Can you STOP talking about some other guy squeezing your butt?!"


"Oh my god…" Jeanette's cry alerted the other partiers when Caleb and Josh appeared from around the corner of the house, "Oh my fucking god… Josh - you look like an angel!" Josh's five-piece tuxedo was solid white, as were all his accessories. Caleb's suit - one that Josh had given him - was black, and not a tux at all, but the light somehow reflected blue off it. It was entrancing, sure, but paled next to Josh's pretty streaked-blonde head on top of his blinding white tux.

"And I look nice too, thanks", Caleb huffed, "Now excuse me while I get out of this monkey-suit."

"I'm coming with", Chester said, fairly jumping to his feet, "Don't you dare try taking that off by yourself."

Josh found Chester's words and behaviour perplexing. "Why not?"

Chester answered, "Because some of the seams are just temporary - I didn't have time to do them right. If he tries to take it off in a hurry, things will rip and ruin the fabric, and then the whole thing will be trash."

"Wait. You fitted Caleb's suit?"

"Yeah. But like I said, I was in a hurry for the final things, so-"

"No. I thought… YOU can tailor suits?" Josh still couldn't believe it. He'd been impressed that apparently Caleb had found a professional tailor to do it, and wondered how he could even afford that.

"My dad's been a tailor for thirty years, he's trying to teach me how. So yes, I can tailor suits. He says I'm getting pretty good."

"Well… yeah, you are… Really good. REALLY good. But… did anyone else know about this?" Josh asked.

There was a round of "News to me"'s and "Nope"s.

Chester explained, "Look, it's not like a deep dark secret or anything, but yeah, I don't exactly advertise it either. So I'd appreciate it if you'd keep quiet about it. Yes. I can sew. The big, strong, scary-looking black man can sew. And dance. Get over it."

Jeanette spoke up, "And you don't want anyone to know because you're a big, strong, scary-looking black man?"

"That's right. I don't look the part, so it's kind of embarrassing. Sewing is supposed to be women's work. And dancing is kind of..."

"But wrestling and football are the right jobs for big, strong, scary-looking black men. I get it. So…", Jeanette continued, "You feel like you have to be what you look like, because that's what people expect. Did I get that right?"

"Well… it sounds stupid when you say it…"

"'S Okay", she said, facing Chester but with her eyes focused on Josh, "You're not the only one."

Josh, staring right back at her, knew exactly what she meant. He'd think about that later.


After everyone had their fill of barbeque, shish-kabob, corn-on-the-cob, red beans, and rice (usually combined into "red-beans-and-rice"), they started to haul their chairs into the fifty-foot-long screened-in canopy as evening approached. Caleb brought in a few mosquito traps too, and lit off five mosquito coils. In the wetlands of Louisiana, mosquitoes are a summertime force of nature, and the evenings are the worst. Cars have to use their windshield wipers in order to see, they get so thick. The only bug that's worse are the love-bugs (so-called because they fly around hooked together in pairs), which don't bite, but can actually foul a car's radiator as well as etch the paint if they're not removed daily. Luckily, their season is very short, only a week or so. Mosquitoes last from spring to fall.

Jeanette and Adam - an established couple by now - stopped as they crossed in front of Josh and Caleb, whose Walmart plastic chairs were also side-by-side.

"Awww, you guys are such a cute couple!" Jeanette not-quite-squealed.

"Cut it out, Jeanette", Caleb admonished her.

"What… you don't think you're a cute couple?"

"I'm not 'cute'. He's 'cute'."

"I said cute COUPLE, girlfriend. Stop being such a bitch."

Caleb heard Josh chuckle. "It's not funny", he said, giving up on Jeanette and facing Josh.

"Yes, it really is, girlfriend" Josh replied, "Now go get me another Miller Lite." It's legal in Louisiana for minors to drink alcohol on private property, even without parental consent.

"Why should I? Get it yourself."

"Because if you don't, I'll give you the 'caught a pervert staring at me' look."

Caleb thought about it. "Fine", he said, and off he went.

Everyone settled down to watch the sunset over the marsh, albeit through the mosquito screen. There were about twenty people altogether, and Josh could hear constant small-talk with smatterings of laughter now and again. He felt utterly at ease, at home, at peace. When Caleb returned with his beer, he resumed his seat without ever saying a word, and the two of them just sat there in silence while the sun went down. Caleb always enjoyed this serene feeling - he'd been doing this kind of thing all his life. For Josh, it was his first time, and in later life this night would be the first thing he would remember whenever he thought of his teenage years.


After Prom and Graduation, and signing a new contract with his agency as an adult, Josh went to work full time. But 'work' changed dramatically. There were still photo-shoots, and there were still runway shows, but the marketing turned up to full blast. He was marketing a lifestyle, as well as himself.

He had to attend far more "important" parties and other entertainment-industry events, however obscure. He was often sent to night-clubs in NYC, not to actually do anything, but just to be eye-candy, or "dress the room" in industry parlance. He became a walking advertisement for for the glam-life so often depicted in magazines and Hollywood-centric television shows as the paragon of the life everyone should want to lead, if they were cool. Or hip. Or, using the latest slang, "lit". Being a club kid and androgynous aspiring super-model were about as "lit" as it was possible to be without adding 'movie star' into the mix. Josh's agent was working on that.

As a result of this, he found himself having to be 'on' all the time, pretending to be enjoying himself, pretending that these other partiers were his friends, pretending that he had it all and it still wasn't enough.

He hated it. Yet, apparently, he was expected to love it, because people who didn't have it wanted it so much. His only hope was that someday he might become famous enough to tell his handlers to go to hell. The fashionable life turned out to be almost exactly the opposite of what it was made to look like. He had no way of knowing, but many of those around him felt the same way, although there were a very rare few who actually did buy glamour at face-value. The majority, though, needed some form of escape, and usually the escape routes were drugs, alcohol, and sex. All three were offered to him like candy, by the double-handfuls.

The drugs he could at least fake - he'd pretend to swallow whatever he couldn't refuse without acquiring a reputation, and spit them out as soon as he could. The alcohol he could beg off, claiming that he feared combining it with the drugs. The offers of sex were more difficult to escape without losing his mystique, but he was learning tricks for that. Vomiting on cue, for instance, saved him from a lot of distasteful assignations. It was one of the very few bodily functions that no one - so far - seemed to have a fetish for.

Meanwhile, his modeling agency played it all up and tried their best to make sure that everyone knew what a wild and crazy time Josh was having everywhere he went. They hired a team of social-media experts to fill Twitter, Instagram, youTube, and Facebook with "genuine" Josh, although Josh himself provided no input at all. His social-media presence was entirely made-up. They even bought fake followers, likes, and views by the hundreds or thousands to raise his ranking in each platform. Most were purchased from Chinese click-farms.

The time he could manage to spend in Caleb's world became more precious to him than diamonds, maybe than life itself. It was the only way he could withstand the onslaught of "the life", as the glamorous people called it.

That life burned out all but the hardiest of survivors within a single year, and it went on without end as long as the public continued to suck it up. In fact, it seemed to become more popular as time went by. The media loved and supported this ecosystem because, compared to movies, television shows, or even cartoons, "reality glamour" was super-cheap to produce, therefore the profit-margin was super-high. Only home shopping shows and religious programming were cheaper, and those garnered far, far less viewers or advertising dollars.

Josh never spoke about any of this with Caleb, or anyone else, for that matter. He informed everyone that the things they saw "from him" on social media were all lies, but other than that, his modeling life became a shameful secret.

Caleb didn't have a clue, and Josh wanted to keep it that way.


"So why can't I go?", Caleb asked. He and Josh were watching-not-watching a movie at Josh's house.

"Because I said so. Just drop it, okay?"

"I've seen you work once Josh. That's all I know about your world, the world where you're spending way more time than you do with me in mine. I just want to see more of what it's like. School's going to start again pretty soon, plus New Orleans is only about as far away as your house is from mine, so it's like the perfect chance. It's not even a shoot, it's a party. So why can't I go with you?" Caleb really did just want to know more about Josh's 'world'. It was so different from his own, and it was there Josh lived most of his life now.

"Caleb... ", Josh began but stalled. He knew exactly the words he wanted to say, he just didn't want to say them. Eventually, he did anyway, "Look, you're proud of your world, all right? I'm… I'm ashamed of mine. That's why I don't want you to see it."

"You're ashamed of modeling? You told me before that you liked it…"

"Modeling yes. But it's gone beyond that now - they're trying to make me a celebrity. I have to do a lot of things I don't want to just to keep attention focused on myself. I don't even want to go to this damn party! But I have to because a lot of big names will be there, and I have to network with them so they'll know who I am."

"But… it isn't… I mean, they all know you're gay right? Is bringing a boyfriend part of the problem?"

"What? No! That has nothing to do with it. It's just… Caleb, during that one shoot, you saw me fake a lot of emotions and looks, for like five minutes at a time, at the most. Now imagine me doing that for hours, constantly. One: it's exhausting. Two: I won't have any time to pay attention to you. And three: if you were my date, you would have to put on an act too. Everyone at these things does. Even the important, powerful people have to act a certain way so everyone will know how important and powerful they are. So it kind of sucks for everyone involved, at least until they get drunk or high enough. Then if they fall out-of-character, they can just blame the booze or drugs, and everyone's cool with that."

"What would I have to act like?"


"Karl, this is my boyfriend, Caleb Thibodeaux. Caleb - this is Karl Lagerfeld, he's the creative director at Chanel and Fendi, as well as his own label."

"Uhm, very nice to meet you, Mr. Lagerfeld," Caleb said by rote. Of all the striking figures at his party, Mr. Lagerfeld was by far one of the scariest looking. His ridiculously high shirt-collar hid his entire neck, and he wore dark sunglasses even though he was indoors and the room was not exactly brightly lit. His face seemed set in a permanent scowl, as if to indicate that he had little use for all these commoners.

"Thibodeaux… Acadian French, I take it?" Karl asked him.

"Uh, yeah. We usually…" Somehow Caleb had never noticed that 'Cajun' was a bastardization of 'Acadian'. It didn't seem wise to try to correct the old man, though, so he simply backtracked, "Yes, Acadian French. There's a lot of us around here." He immediately regretted saying that last part, everyone knew that Cajuns came from southern Louisiana. Would Karl think he was calling him stupid? Josh was right - this acting business was exhausting.

"And obviously an athlete too. You look uncomfortable in that suit, but at least it's fitted well. Muscular boys don't usually look good in suits. I imagine you normally wear jeans and tee-shirts? And athletic shoes of some sort?"

"Well… yeah…", Caleb responded, unable to think of anything else to say on the spot.

"None of which ever match each other, I imagine…", the old man added.

"Well… no… I'm not sure what 'match' would even mean in jeans and tee-shirts…"

"Wouldn't you? That's interesting. I will have to think about that", Karl said, and then turned his attention back to Josh, "You're a lucky boy, Josh Viator. But now please excuse me, I see Sarah Burton by herself, and I owe her a burn over her latest attempt at handbag design. Farewell, boys."

Caleb finally felt like he could at least breathe again without being judged for it. He said quietly, "Well, that was weird. Was he looking at me funny?"

"Probably. He's gay, and we're the only 'boys' here. That's one of the reasons I had to come - I'm the only male model at this party, so it's a chance to really stand out. Caleb? You should probably find a men's room and wash your face - you're sweating bullets. Just keep your head down and take a stall if anyone's in there. You're doing okay so far."

"Yeah, good idea", Caleb said, desperate to find a way out of the room, even if only for a moment. They'd only been there for half an hour, but it seemed like days to him.

There were many young female models milling about, flitting from one Big Name to the next, constantly flirting, trying to be memorable. And there were lots of powerful men, somewhat fewer powerful women. But Josh and Caleb were the only young males, and Josh was as pretty as ever. One of the powerful men - not nearly as much so as Karl Lagerfeld, but fairly important nonetheless - kept glancing at Josh. Josh was aware of it, and kept his distance. He knew that look.

Caleb found himself alone in the men's room, for which he thanked God. He washed his face and then took a stall after making sure the others were empty. He needed some alone time to calm down. This was not fun. How did Josh stand it?

He spent ten minutes in there - longer than he'd really intended to, and found Josh smiling and laughing with a group out on the balcony, a drink in his hand. He'd told Caleb not to drink anything, alcoholic or not, and informed him that he wouldn't either, so that was kind of surprising.

It took a couple of minutes to pull Josh away from the group. He seemed to be laughing a lot. Josh wasn't a big laugher… was it just an act?

"You said you weren't going to drink anything, Josh…"

"Oh relax. It'sh just Coke, nothing in it. I got thirsty. Awww… are you worried about meeee?"

"I was only in the restroom for ten minutes. Why do you seem drunk?"

"I'm snot drunk! Give me a break, man…" Josh said louder than he needed to. He tried to pull away from Caleb's hold on his arm and almost stumbled.

Caleb made a command decision, "Okay, something is going on here, and we're leaving. If you fight me on this, it's going to make a scene, and I don't think you want that. So just c'mon."

Josh didn't fight. He kind of wanted to leave anyway. He felt good, yes, and was having fun, yes, but he also felt so tired. Not as in "exhausted", but just sleepy. Almost at the door, a man stepped into Caleb's path. It was the one who'd been staring at Josh.

"Is something wrong? You're leaving so early…" the man said to Josh, ignoring Caleb.

Josh never got a chance to formulate an answer before Caleb responded. "Yeah, we are. He's feeling tired. Excuse us."

The man looked sternly at Caleb and put a hand on his shoulder, "Maybe he can rest up in my room, it's close by. I'll -"

Without saying anything, Caleb whirled on the man, his elbow coming up to smack loudly into the man's face. He obviously hadn't been expecting that, and toppled backward to the floor. Caleb didn't wait to see what would happen next, quickly pulling Josh out the door, down the hall, and into the fire escape stairwell. No one had followed him so far.

Thinking fast, Caleb ushered Josh up the stairs. For one thing, no one would expect them to go up instead of down, and for another, it's far easier to climb stairs when drunk than to go down them. At the next floor up, they finally got an elevator to take them down.

"Hey Caleb… do you shink I'm pretty?" Josh asked, his slurring getting worse fast.

That caught Caleb off-guard. That is what Josh was concerned about? NOW? "Yes, you're pretty. You're fucking beautiful. You take my breath away. And you probably won't remember me saying so tomorrow."

"I like it when you shay that I'm pretty…" Josh mumbled drunkenly, his face buried in Caleb's shoulder and his eyes already closed.

By the time Caleb got Josh to his SUV, he was barely responsive at all. Now it was obvious that Josh had been drugged. It was also fairly obvious by whom, and Caleb could guess why.


"Where… where am I?" Josh asked the next morning, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"'Bout time you woke up. We're in Darrin's house. You get washed up, I'll bring you some breakfast and we can talk. Back in a bit," Caleb said. It was still early in the morning, Josh hadn't slept overly long or anything, but Caleb hadn't slept at all, while watching over the other boy.

Taking Josh to Josh's house would've involved a lot of questions. He could have taken him to his own home, but Caleb was scared, and really needed to talk to Darrin, if only to hear that he'd done the right thing. Darrin had agreed that he had, and offered them the guest bedroom.

"So just cereal and milk. I didn't want to take the time to cook anything, hope that's okay," Caleb said coming back in.

"'S fine. So, did you go ahead and rape me while I was out?" Josh asked, smiling at him.

"What?! No! What the fuck, Josh?"

"Aww, too bad. Would've been hot."

"Are you serious?" This was no laughing matter to Caleb.

"No, I'm just trying to lighten up before it gets depressing. I was roofied, right? Last thing I remember is something about you knocking some guy on his ass while you were dragging me out of there. So… I guess you saved me. Thanks for that. Really, I'm glad you were there."

"Okay… okay, yeah, I figure that's what happened too. Why were you even drinking anything? You kept telling me not to, no matter what. So why were you?"

"I went to the bar and watched the bartender pour it from the can and everything. So I figured it'd be safe. The guy must have spiked it later. I've seen it happen before, first time I've been the target, though."

"That happens a lot at the parties you go to?"

"I don't know about 'a lot', but yeah, it's no surprise. Rich old men, young sexy struggling models, lots of alcohol and drugs… it happens. See why I didn't want you to go? That's what I have to live with. That's not even the worst of it."

"Well what the fuck is the worst of it then?" Caleb cried in astonishment. Was this really Josh's 'world'?

"Well, okay, it's probably the worst criminal act, that I know of at least. The worst part… to me, I mean… is how everything… Uh, I can't really explain. All I can think of is 'superficial', and that doesn't really do it justice."

"You hate it, don't you…", Caleb asked, watching Josh's eyes closely.

He needn't have paid such close attention because Josh was sick, almost literally, of pretending. "Yeah", he said.

"Why do you keep doing it then? You once said you were afraid you'd have to 'sell your soul' to be famous. Looks like that's exactly what you are doing…"

Now Josh looked into Caleb's eyes instead. "You know."

"I know a lot of the reasons why you don't not… uh… why you… I know a lot of reasons that AREN'T why you don't quit. I know it's not the money. I know you're not worried about how long it will go on. And now I'm pretty sure it's not because you want to be famous. So what is it? What's keeping you in the business?"

Josh sighed deeply. He knew exactly what the answer was. He'd spent hours staring at himself in the mirror looking for that answer, and found it weeks ago. It was hard to admit, even to himself - how was he supposed to admit something like that to Caleb? Especially to Caleb! It wouldn't make any sense to Caleb. Other models, maybe, but damn sure not Caleb!

On the other hand, wasn't not telling Caleb the same thing as pretending that it wasn't so?

"I need people to tell me I'm pretty, Caleb. I know you don't get that, but please don't laugh - it's a real thing. Everyone at work goes on and on about how I look and… and I just need to hear it. That's all," Josh paused, thinking about what he'd just said. That was the first time he'd ever said it out loud. But there was something else, too, a grown-up reason he couldn't just quit: "And also, I signed a contract. If I don't do what they want, they'll sue the shit out of me."

Caleb knew nothing about contracts or law, but he knew people who did, so he filed that away for later. He'd always felt that Josh was too hung up on his looks, but it was hard to fault him for that, since Caleb was too. For Caleb, it was almost impossible to separate how he felt about Josh from how he felt about Josh's looks. He'd tried. Everytime he thought about something he liked about Josh, he'd feel like he was just lying to himself. Was it really all about how pretty he was? Was he really that shallow?

"You don't think anyone… You don't think I would like you if you weren't so hot?"

Josh looked at him out of the corner of his eye, "Well, you tell me. Would you?"

"Pretty sure I would."

"'Pretty sure', huh? Well, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't. What's there to like about me? I'm vain - extremely vain - and self-centered and egotistical. My picture is next to 'conceited' in the dictionary. And the only reason I decided to meet with you in the first place is because of how you looked, you know. All we have is physical attraction for each other. And sex. Good thing we're both gay, huh?"

While they'd been talking, the rest of #operationcaleb had gathered as usual in Darrin's living-room. It was the last Friday before the new school year started. Josh and Caleb had been hearing the cars drive up, doors slamming, chairs being scooted around - they knew what was going on. No one knew the two boys were there in the guest bedroom though, unless Darrin had been telling them. That didn't seem likely though.

Caleb had an idea. "Yeah, we're gay. But we're the only homos in the group. Get dressed, I need to show you something."

"I'm already dressed." Well, sort of - Josh was wearing a pair of Darrin's jeans, but nothing else.

"I mean put on the shirt I brought in. The straight guys get all flustered seeing you topless, which is usually funny to watch, but this time I need them clear-headed. Now hurry up."

"You get pretty flustered too…"

"Yeah, but I'm getting more used to it all the time. It's just…" Caleb paused as he stared at Josh while memories of Josh's torso flooded his mind. The sight, the feel, the smell and… He had to shake himself out of it, "Just put on the damn shirt and stop trying to distract me, Okay? "


"Well, look who was already here! And check out the bed-head!" Adam - the newly-minted yaoi fanboy - said loudly.

After the round of hoots and awww's died down, Caleb said, "Fuck off. We don't have sex when we're a guest in someone's house. Now be serious - I have a question for all of you." He paused looking at Josh, wondering what he had in mind would really make a difference. Didn't Josh ever have friends who didn't care how he looked? Then again, Caleb certainly didn't count as one, now did he… "Okay. Raise your hand if you like Josh. And don't make this weird, I mean just 'like' as in a friend."

Everyone's hand went up, and they looked at Caleb incredulously. Wasn't it obvious?

"That's what I thought. Now, who here is attracted - I mean sexually attracted - to him because of his looks?" Caleb raised his own hand.

He was surprised when Dustin's hand also went up.

"Dustin? Uhm… seriously?" Caleb asked.

"Yeah, I'm bisexual, apparently. I didn't know until Josh came along, but yeah. Everyone get that? I'm bi. But I have a girlfriend now, so don't even think of starting any kind of #operationdustin for me. I'll let you know when and if I'm ever looking for a boyfriend, all right?"

Jeanette said to Josh, and the group in general, "You should see how he stares at you when you're not watching. Reminds me of Caleb, except Dustin seems less hung up on your crotch."

"Jeanette…" Dustin sighed.

"He likes your butt more."

"Jeanette!"

"Don't get mad, I'm not the only one who's noticed. It's so cute! Sorry, that was the fangirl inside me. I'm done now."

"If I may continue?", Caleb said, annoyed, "So other than Dustin, I assume the rest of you aren't really attracted to Josh, right?"

No one said anything.

"Right!? Guys?"

Phan went first, "Well… to be honest, I wouldn't exactly kick him out of bed…"

Adam: "I'm up for experimenting, no prob. I'd have to be the seme, though."

Chester: "Is his cock as cute as the rest of him is? I might go for that…"

"Goddamnit", Caleb complained. This wasn't going how he'd planned.

Josh was grinning broadly (so was Dustin). "Sorry Caleb", he said, "I thought you knew. Straight guys are my target demographic. They're all gay for me, more or less."

Jeanette cut in, "Caleb, I think I know where you're going with this, but yeah, you kind of took a wrong turn. Just because YOU can't separate Josh the Person from Josh the Face, you think no one else can either. Out of all the people in this room, only me and Josh - I'm assuming - don't find femininity attractive. So to answer the question you never got around to asking: yes, I like Josh for other reasons than just how he looks. His looks - and yes, I can tell he's beautiful - are just kind of 'meh' to me. Probably the same way Adam's looks are 'meh' to you. "

"Well good then. Finally. So what do you like about him then?" Caleb asked. Josh looked on with curiosity too.

"First of all - he's genuine. Which seems strange, given what he does for a living. Second, he's funny - especially when he's picking on you. I just love that. You fall for it every time, too… it's kind of amazing."

"I know, right?" Josh chimed in.

"I could go on… I could run through the whole Boy Scouts pledge or motto or whatever it is. 'Clean, punctual, loyal, honest'... whatever else. Maybe not 'reverent'... but still tho. Josh is just a cool dude, and I like him."

Darrin: "Yup."

Phan: "Got that right."

Adam: "Well said."

Dustin: "There ya go."

Chester: "Totally. Totes amazeballs, in fact. Always wanted to say that."

Josh was taken aback. He'd been called a lot of things, a lot of flattering things, even, but never 'just a cool dude'. It meant more to him than the gang would ever know. In fact, it seemed too good to be true…

"Okay, thanks guys", Josh said, concentrating on not choking up, "So now tell me what's wrong with me. I'm pretty sure I have flaws."

Darrin: "Vain. Oh my god. Not sure it's really fair to blame you for that, though."

Phan: "Too sarcastic for me. It's depressing."

Jeanette: "Total fashion SLAVE!"

Dustin: "Nipples are too small." Everyone did a double-take at Dustin. "Well, they are!"

Chester: "You seem to keep a lot of secrets from Caleb. He's supposed to be your boyfriend. I don't approve of that."

Adam: "Frustratingly stupid about what matters most to yourself. I wonder if you even know."

"Damn…" Josh said. He hadn't expected that many criticisms. "But after all that, I'm still a 'cool dude'?"

Caleb answered, looking him in the eye, "Yeah, after all that, you're still a cool dude. And I love you."

Josh kissed him on the cheek, after which Caleb blushed furiously.

"Awww!" Jeanette squealed.

"So kyoot!", so did Adam.

"Lucky bastard", Dustin complained.