Vincent: So yeah, I hit kind of a rough patch, I was a little behind on rent and my landlord was being a total bastard. Just wouldn't listen. He'd wait for me to get home and come up as soon as I got in he'd be all over me – "Where's my money?!" Shit like that. So I was spending a lot of time at Sandy's place.
Sandy was nice you know? Didn't ask for too much. Didn't mind spotting me a few bucks now and then. I showed her how to make a mean vodka tonic.
Anyway, around that time her roommate's sister moved in. I think she worked nights, 'cause she slept all day. So I was hanging out one day when Sandy says she's gotta pick up something from the store. I said no problem, I'll just hang out 'til you get back. I even asked if she minded if I got a glass of milk! She says you can even have a cookie if you want. So she took off and I got myself a glass of milk and I took one Oreo from the cookie jar, then I sat down on the couch.
Soon as I sit down, Sandy's roommate's sister comes out of her closet.
"Comes out of the closet." Ha! See what I did there?
OK, OK, so she comes out and she's wearing an itty-bitty, little, t-shirt and these tiny shorts and sits down next to me on the couch. I ignored her, 'cause the sports were on and I wanted to hear the scores. But next thing I know her hand's on my leg! So I say "No, please, I am Sandy's boyfriend." But she said, "Fuck Sandy. I want you." and she pulls me down and starts making out with me! Well I tried to resist, but... I'm a guy, you know? And she was pretty hot.
Well next thing I know the door opens and Sandy's standing there with her mouth open. And she says... You know, the thing about Sandy is, she never shouted. Never raised her voice. If she got mad at someone, she'd just go all cold. Anyway, there I was and Sandy comes in and she's standing there with her mouth open. Then she says "You bastard. Get out."
I jump up, pull my pants up, and I'm like "Sandy baby! Please! Let me explain!" And she says "I don't want to hear it." And I'm like "No, really, I can explain!" and she says "Well OK, maybe I'll hear you out." Well, just as I'm about to tell her my side, her roommate comes in, and she's all like "What the fuck is going on here?!" And I say "If everyone would just please calm down, I'll explain." Then her sister suddenly starts yelling how it's all bullshit and I was coming on to her, and shes crying and sobbing and carrying on. Well that got Sandy mad again, and at that point I was just like: Whatever. Crazy bitches. So I left.
When I got home the fucking landlord had changed the locks and my all stuff was on the curb. So I ended up sleeping in my car that night. I called my dad in the morning, but he said this was a learning experience and I should get a job. But you know, if I hadn't been thrown out I wouldn't have met my friend Al. Al got me a job in his uncle's company. So here I am now! Wonderkid of the business world! I'd say things worked out pretty good, huh?