A/N: Alrighty. This is the last chapter to this story, as I feel it's time to draw it to an end. While it could go on for another two or three chapters, I'm having a hard time convincing myself that it's worth the trouble, especially as it didn't have much of a readership anyway. Thank you for reading, and stay safe.
X
A spark of excitement blossomed in J.C's belly once the final bell of the day rang. He was out of his seat long before anyone could move an inch, the classroom door ramming back to hit the opposite wall with his eagerness. If anyone had a problem with it, he highly doubted they were willing to chase him down.
He whipped out his phone as he fast walked through the hallways, hardly paying attention to anyone or anything in his path. Dana hadn't messaged him or anything yet, bothering him a smidge. Dana had always been pretty good about keeping his word, whether they were towards his friends or his enemies. He never broke a promise. Never. A small part of J.C knew he was being overeager, but he couldn't exactly help it. He had to know what had gotten into Dana, and the longer he had to wait, the more anxious he got. Barely holding back a growl, J.C stuck his phone back into his pocket and picked up the pace to deposit his school things into his locker before heading outside. Hopefully by then, Dana would have texted him a time and place to meet up, and if not, he would have to be the one to initiate the conversation.
A few minutes later (of course an hour in his mind), J.C felt the warm sunshine upon his face and the hard plastic of his phone case in his hand. Still nothing from Dana. He glanced around on the small chance he would spot the shorter teen, but when he saw nothing but passing blank faces, he quickly pulled up the messenger app and singled out Dana's number.
J.C: Sooo where are you? he quickly tapped out.
Almost instantaneously, Dana sent back a response, almost as if he had it already typed out and was merely waiting for J.C to start first. A minor annoyance, but at least J.C knew he wasn't about to be willfully ignored.
Dana: Principal's office. Assholes blabbed about our fight. Don't know why you didn't get snitched on. Lucky
J.C narrowed his eyes. Those fuckers...
J.C: Gives me time to find and end them
Dana: Haha don't do that, you idiot. Enjoy the freedom while it lasts. I'll be out in five. Let's meet at the pier. Good?
J.C: Yeah...good.
The pier. That was a good fifteen minute ride from the high school. Gave him plenty of time to worry about what Dana would say. Or do. Ugh. He was gonna have an ulcer before he turned twenty.
[x]
J.C fumbled fruitlessly with the 'gifts' he had picked up for Dana. Like the last time they met up at the pier, J.C had gotten jerky and cigarettes. This time, however, he bought a bigger variety of beef sticks, the stash almost enough to feed an army. He hoped it pleased Dana, maybe lessen whatever blow the brunet decided to hit him with. A part of him wondered if he should bother getting his hopes up. Dana was never one for spontaneity. More often than not, Dana liked to spend time considering all of his options. The good, the bad, whether it benefited him and at what cost. It was one of the many reasons why J.C could see him in a position of power after they left high school. He had a real good future ahead of him, whereas J.C wasn't sure what the next day would bring. It made him wary. The way Dana had acted after the impromptu blowjob wasn't like him at all. He was too affectionate, too… weird. It couldn't have been spur of the moment. Could he have planned it? J.C couldn't let the small prospect of Dana having a change of heart slip him by. What if by some miracle Dana wanted to pursue things further? But then why? What did J.C possibly have to bring to the table? Aside from their friendship, what else was there?
It gnawed at him, badly.
With force, J.C pushed the downtrodden thoughts away and focused on getting comfortable. He had chosen to sit at the same table they had occupied a few days prior. It was almost surreal to think that this was where they had come to the mutual conclusion to hook up, when just barely a month ago he and Dana had been taking turns coming up with tasteless 'yo mama' jokes like a pair of grade school kids (he liked to think that he won that competition), their relationship firmly in the friends only zone. Now here he was. Pining.
His phone abruptly buzzed where he had placed it on the table, the screen lighting up with a text notification. J.C snatched it up eagerly and saw that Dana was on his way. The sudden butterflies in his stomach forced him to close his eyes and take a deep breath. Not getting his hopes up was getting more and more difficult by the second, and now that Dana was mere minutes away, he was sure he was about to explode. He hadn't truly felt this way about another person since his first girlfriend back in the ninth grade, or possibly even Nicolò, two years prior to that. In any case, he had the jitters, and it wouldn't stop.
When the sound of crunching gravel broke through the otherwise quiet peacefulness of the pier, J.C hurriedly straightened up, his heart pattering wildly in his chest. Maybe this was dumb. He didn't have to know everything that went through Dana's head. If Dana suddenly wanted to surprise him with blowjobs, then fine. Alright. That would work out. Shoehorning feelings into it could only spell disaster, as it already proved once before. Let primal urges be primal urges. That would be... great.
Except it wasn't great. As soon as Dana got out of his car, a grin plastered on his face underneath his wraparound shades, J.C was a goner. He loved Dana. That was all to it. He loved him, and with certainty, he knew he couldn't live the rest of his life without him.
Without thinking J.C stood up, aching to wrap his arms around the smaller teen as Dana strode up to him like he had won the lottery. He vaguely wondered if he would look like that if Tyler wanted to make up with him. No. He'd be glowing if that were to ever happen.
"You look happy," J.C noted once they were within talking distance.
"And why shouldn't I be?" Dana was in a teasing mood. That was good. "Talked myself out of suspension and managed to issue a threat to our new friends. I'm winning a lot, today."
J.C knew he should just keep his mouth shut and find some other opening, but the opportunity presented itself a little too beautifully. "Was sucking me off a win for you, too?"
Dana physically paused, almost losing his balance as he stared up at J.C with his eyebrows clearing the tops of his sunshades. Obviously he hadn't expected J.C to say something like that, but he recovered quickly enough, his lips cocked up into a self-confident smirk. "I would say yeah, it was a huge win." Still looking holier-than-thou, Dana strode the last few steps, and inching up on tiptoe, wrapped his arms about J.C's neck, tugging him down. He tilted his head just enough for J.C to see his eyes, shiny and blue. "Why? You want a repeat?"
J.C grit his teeth, desperately wishing to say yes, yes he would actually. But that wasn't what they were meeting up for. "Dana-" he began with restraint, only for Dana to roll his eyes at him and back off.
"I know, I know. You want an explanation first."
"That'd be... nice."
Dana nodded and perched himself on the edge of the table, the exact same as last time. J.C deigned to keep standing; Dana didn't seem to care. "I don't have a speech prepared or anything, so where would you like me to start?"
"Why'd you do it?"
"Because I wanted to," Dana replied straightaway.
J.C refrained from snapping at him. "Seriously? What if I didn't want to?"
Dana's smirk fell away. A scowl replaced it. "Hey, you weren't complaining. I saw the look in your eyes. I only gave you what you wanted."
"Exactly. You knew I wanted you, and I can't help but feel like you took advantage of the fact that we were both high on adrenaline. It's a little fucked up."
If possible, Dana's scowl deepened. This wasn't going at all the way he had envisioned. J.C could say the same. "It wouldn't be so 'fucked up' if you had just agreed to be my fuck buddy. I know you want to hold hands with me, and it's sweet, it really is, but that's not who I am."
Blushing, J.C looked away. He hadn't really considered holding Dana's hand like that, but... "If you know that that's what I want, then why get my hopes up?"
Dana didn't say anything, his gaze caught on a bird skimming the water in the distance. J.C wished he would take off those ridiculous sunshades. "Honestly," he started off slowly, "I was grateful. I know it was a no brainer for you to stick around and throw a few punches, but having you there next to me meant a lot. It reminded me that I'm not alone. After the fiasco with Tyler, and Bear, I felt... hopeless. I thought that once you showed back up that you would do the same. That you would leave me."
J.C relaxed, his gaze soft. "Why would you think that? Back when we were kids, I only ever followed you. That hasn't changed."
Dana shrugged. "I dunno. I've been in a mood. Tyler was-" He petered at the disgruntled noise J.C made and cocked his head to look up at him. "Yeah I know you don't wanna hear me talk about him, but you should know that I-"
"You were in love with him, yeah I get that," J.C interrupted, annoyed.
"That wasn't what I was going to say." Dana didn't sound anything other than neutral, or in the very least as if he was about to explain something to someone with clogged ears. He stared up at J.C for another long quiet moment before taking off the sunshades and holding out his left hand in a 'come here' gesture.
Hesitating, J.C slowly went up to him and let Dana take him by the hips. His face warmed at Dana's firm grip.
"What I was trying to tell you, was that Tyler was more than a lover to me. He's my best friend, a blood brother. I thought we would stay that way for the rest of our lives, but I see now that I was living in a dream world. I never thought some pipsqueak that he used to pick on would be the one to turn his head, in the same way that I never thought that you would worm your way into my heart."
J.C went still, his hands suddenly clammy. He almost couldn't believe what he was hearing. Did Dana just admit that he was starting to view him as more than someone to screw around with, as more than a thug he could order around as the need arose? It was exactly what he wanted to hear, but at the same time, it scared him, because after everything Dana had said and done, it was highly unlikely that he would've changed his tune this soon, and this fast. Something happened, and he'd be lying if it didn't unnerve him.
"Dana-"
"Let me finish."
J.C cautiously nodded.
"I'm gonna preface this with that I think you're a gigantic idiot for even considering a more than casual relationship with me, but I'm not gonna lie and say that I'm not flattered, or tempted. I know you can give me everything I want and satisfy my needs, but that's not the issue here. The issue is that... fuck dude, I'm completely clueless." He couldn't seem but help to laugh, his teeth showing in a wide awkward smile. "I act like I have all the answers, but I really, really don't. I mean, I don't date. I have fun with people, and that's it. When I get bored, I find someone else. It's easy, but you- you make it so hard for me. I can't just push you off to the side after I'm done with you, because you're my friend, and you're loyal. I knew from the moment you reacted to my suggestion of being fuck buddies that I had screwed up. I shouldn't have slept with you. I wish that I hadn't."
"You wanna punch me in the face for good measure?" J.C asked hollowly.
Dana's lips twitched in a need to form a smile. "That did occur to me, yeah, but those were thoughts that I had at the moment in time. Now it's just... different."
"What's different?"
"Time. Distance. Advice. It's-"
"What advice?"
When Dana snapped his mouth shut and looked guiltily off to the side, J.C could almost feel that punch, except it was right in his gut. Dana had talked to someone, about them. While he knew it wasn't a bad thing to ask for help, and God knew Dana needed lots of it, the fact that Dana could barely look him in the eye anymore pretty much answered the question of who he had asked. He tried not to let himself get riled up, but it was impossible. He didn't want to think about the fact that they still talked, and that Dana felt comfortable enough to share the intimate details of his sex life. In a way, he supposed that that would never stop. Didn't mean that it didn't make him angry.
"So?" J.C snapped impatiently and pushed Dana's hands off, "What'd he have to say? I'm sure he had a thing or two to say about our fight."
Dana sighed, as though he thought that J.C getting testy was a childish response. The look of exasperation didn't help. "Calm down. He was very helpful, alright? Jesus only knows why he didn't hang up on me. I would have hung up on me... look, bottom line is this. I'm selfish. That won't ever change. If given the chance, I will hurt you, and it's because of that that I don't want to risk it. You're..." Dana took a deep breath, his hands loosely curled against his thighs. He looked soft, not his usual rough and tough demeanor, and J.C couldn't help but drift into his space, drawn to him like a bee to a flower. "You're a good friend," Dana continued, expression fond, "I'm sure I don't deserve you."
"Wouldn't be here if you didn't," J.C mumbled, face warm. "You know I'd do anything for you, Dana." Feeling bold, he reached up to ghost his thumb against Dana's parted lips; they were slick with moisture.
Dana gazed up at him with his eyebrows lowered, trying to keep a stern expression. The emotion in his eyes gave him away, however. They were clouding over, reacting intimately to the touch J.C bestowed upon him. After a moment into their staring contest, Dana bowed out.
He closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, humming. "I'm still all for casually fucking. It'd be good for the both of us. A nice, mutual outlet. But I know it won't make you happy." He caught J.C's wrist in a grasp that was firm but trembling. "And because I'm so far up my own ass, I'm seriously considering putting an end-"
"Shut the hell up, Dee," J.C told him.
"Thought you'd do anything for me. If I want to put an end to this relationship, then let me. We go our separate ways, and maybe then we can heal."
"That what Tyler say?"
"He thinks I'm using you," Dana remarked, staring steadfast into his eyes almost as if wanting to see the exact moment when J.C understood the gravity of that statement.
But J.C merely looked at him, bewildered. "You've always used us to get ahead. That's the point."
To that, Dana opened and closed his mouth before shaking his head with an ironic smile. "He thinks that we're shit for each other."
J.C fought not to grin. As much as he hated Tyler, he did have a point. "We are shit for each other. And I think that that's what'll keep us together. For better, or for worse."
"Oh, are you proposing to me?"
"Till death do us part." This wasn't supposed to be light hearted, but making Dana chuckle brightened his day. J.C got his answers, though he wasn't sure what he should do with them. Dana wanted to push him away, destroy their friendship instead of giving a romantic one a chance. It hurt, but he knew he shouldn't have been too surprised. He should have predicted it, knowing as he did that Dana didn't date. It was a foolish hope to think that Dana would make an exception for him. Of all people, J.C would be dead last. He heaved a sigh and backed up a pace, his back stiff. "If putting the last nail in of our friendship is what you want-"
"It honestly isn't," Dana interrupted, all trace of smiles gone, his voice careful. "It's just what I feel is best. I can't see this ending in happily ever after. I don't want to hurt you, or myself."
"Yourself?" J.C asked slowly but Dana was already turning away to dig through the bag of beef jerky, a convenient way to ignore him. J.C opened his mouth to say something but opted to let it go. He sat on the bench and idly watched the brunet silently debate on which flavor he wanted before deciding on Teriyaki, and once again tearing it open with his teeth. J.C snorted.
Dana turned shrewd eyes to him. "What?"
"Nothing. Just. This entire thing, it's… absurd. How did we even get here?"
Dana considered his question seriously, his jaw slowly working up and down to chew the treat. "Jealousy, loneliness, and me being very horny." He smiled in humor but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Sometimes, I do wonder what I could have, or rather should have, done differently. It's only natural for friendships to fall apart as goals and desires drift into different directions, especially the older we get. I'm happy that Tyler found someone to love."
That took J.C by surprise. His mouth gaped open as Dana stared off at the tall grass, and nodded to himself as if finally coming to some long sought after conclusion. "Really? You're happy about that?"
"…yeah. I mean, don't get me wrong, I wish it was me, but… he needs stability, someone to keep him grounded, someone in his corner who doesn't look at him and wonder where best to put him on the chessboard. I have to let him go sometime. This is as good a time as any." He peered at J.C, his eyes pensive still. "I think, part of growing up, is realizing when you're wrong and accepting that not everything goes the way you want it. Beating it out of someone doesn't help anyone. If I knew now what I knew then, I would have encouraged Tyler to do whatever he wanted. I want him to be happy, it's… all I ever wanted for him."
J.C sat stunned. Dana was saying a lot and staring at him without an ounce of pain on his face, only sincerity. He knew that it must of took lots of self-reflection for Dana to speak so candidly and without stutter – not that Dana stuttered, but the sentiment didn't change.
"You surprise me," J.C said at last, looking away. "I shouldn't be, you've always been the more mature out of all of us, but… yeah."
Dana chuckled softly. "Yeah, well… we all have to grow up sometime." His hand suddenly landed on J.C's shoulder, drawing his attention back to him. "You said you'd do anything I ask, right?"
A surge of fear shot down J.C's spine, and despite his misgivings, he nodded.
"Then would you…" Dana swallowed, almost breaking eye contact as if he couldn't bring himself to say it, and it only heightened the anxious pull in J.C's guts. "Can you be there for me?" he asked in a near whisper.
J.C let out the breath he was holding. "Wha- of course! I'm always here for you."
Dana closed his eyes, and subtly shook his head. "I don't mean just in my corner. I mean… more. More than… friendship." And that time Dana did stutter, an emotion so strange and naked in his blue eyes that J.C wished he could fall headlong into them. "If you wanna date, we can date. I'm not an easy person to do this with, but I'll try. I just don't want to be alone, okay? I don't want to hurt you, either, but I don't want to be alone more, and I know that makes me sound like the biggest piece of shit, but I can't sugar coat it, man. I need a shoulder and you're perfect. I trust you."
J.C wanted to laugh. Not because he found Dana weak or annoying. In fact… "You're seriously not begging me to be your boyfriend, are you?"
Dana immediately recognized that he was merely joking with him and let out a watery bark of laughter. "Oh shut the hell up. I've never done this before."
"Well I have. All you have to do is ask me out. It's painless."
"Yes, but what if you say no?"
"Then you make me."
Dana's smile fell away. "No." His tone was sharp, effectively wiping away J.C's grin as well. "No coercion. You either do or you don't." His gaze flit away once he made his point, then taking a deep breath, looked pointedly into J.C's eyes, his own much softer. "Alright. Do you want to go out on a date?"
J.C couldn't help but blush at the gentle intensity in Dana's eyes, turning the color a sweeping array of bright indulgent blues that glittered in the afternoon sun. His gaze drifted to his lips, parted just a centimeter and moist with summer heat. Everything inside him was quiet now, his thoughts a hum at the back of his mind. Never in a million years did he think that this moment would ever happen, and now that it was, peace reigned in both heart and soul. He looked back into the beauty of Dana's eyes and leaned up to press a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth, causing the other teen to stutter.
"Of course I do," J.C mumbled against his skin, "What a stupid question."