Screen lights on an image of a sofa in a living room. A girl under the blanket sits up and yawns. She is played by an adult, but it is uncertain whether her character is a kid or an adult. She wears her black hair in pigtails and wears a barrette and pink sundress with butterflies on it, along with oversized Mary Jane shoes. To her right is Barkey, a black and brown stuffed puppy with a red collar.
MEGETTE: Oh hi, you're here! Goody! We are going to have so much fun today. We always do, when you come over! Say hi, Barkey!
MEGETTE: Say hi to Barkey! I would have liked to have named him Bolly, because it rhymes with Molly the Dolly, but that just wouldn't do. So. Barkey it is! And you love your name, don't you Barkey?
MEGETTE: Anyway, we are going to do something so cool today. We are going to go to Down Town and visit the kindergarten, and then we're going to the dojo and visit Major CuteBoot. We're going to have a dance lesson together. It's going to be so much fun, and we'll learn all sorts of new moves! And do you know what else?
BARKEY: *conjures drawn image of a question mark in his thought bubble*
MEGETTE: I'm finally going to tell Major CuteBoot how I feel! You see, a lot of you guys aren't too happy with me that we're not dating! Today, I'm going to change that. Isn't that right, Barkey?
MEGETTE: Anyway, it's important that I look and feel my best! Before we begin, I have to go do and do my sun salutation! *She stretches her arms.* Come meet me at the mat!
She leaves and Barkey waves goodbye.
MEGETTE: To start the day off right, I stretch.
MEGETTE does the sun salutation and returns to the sofa.
MEGETTE: I'm ba-ack! Hubba what? Barkey, your collar!
Barkey's collar has changed from red to pink and sparkly.
MEGETTE: Are you a female dog now? Ha ha.
BARKEY: *shakes body in anger*
MEGETTE: Oh, you just wanted a new look. Ok! You know, maybe I should find something too. I want to look great for Major CuteBoot.
She digs into the cushions.
MEGETTE: Let's see..
She finds an umbrella.
MEGETTE: Ooh, this is fun. Let's open it...ooh, pink! But it's bad luck to open an umbrella inside, you know.
She tosses it to the floor and finds a pair of oversize yellow glasses.
MEGETTE: My reading glasses! We'll use those later.
She tosses them to the floor, and finds a feather boa!
MEGETTE: Hmm. Maybe I'll wear this.
She plays around with the boa. A feather floats under the couch and encounters some fully non living dust bunnies. The feather wraps itself around some dust bunnies that are definitely not alive and the feather wraps itself in ways that make the dust bunnies look like they're dressed.
Cut back to the sofa with MEGETTE wearing a boa and having curled her hair.
MEGETTE: All set! What do you think, Barkey? Do I look cute?
MEGETTE: Hmph. Shows what you know! A girl has to be flirty, you know.
BARKEY: *envisions image of brush*
BARKEY: That's a good idea, Barkey! You clean up too, and then we'll go.
MEGETTE: While we're waiting, let's go see what the Pocket family is up to!
She skips to the dollhouse and kneels down.
Cut to a dollhouse with Polly Pockets. POLLY scampers to her closet and tossed outfit after outfit. She finds one and goes back in the closed. Her FRIEND shakes her head. POLLY is miffed, but then finds another outfit, goes back into the closet, and reappears with it on. This process continues until POLLY is merely in her bathing suit. Her FRIEND approves, and she is bewildered, but then the FRIEND takes out a floatie and it is apparent that they are going to a pool party. POLLY realizes this, and they head out the door.
MEGETTE: That was fun? Ready, Barkey?
MEGETTE: Good. Let's get going!
She scoops him off the sofa and they skip out.
We are now outside, as Megette prepares to step through a gate with Barkey.
MEGETTE: First we have to stop at Grandma's. This is what we always do on the way to Down Town.
She opens the gate and steps into the yard. Grandma is there watering her garden.
GRANDMA: Hello Megette-ka! How are you and Barkey to-day?
MEGETTE: We're great! We were going to the kindergarten in Down Town today to volunteer with the little kids.
GRANDMA: Down Town? But Megette-ka, you aren't old enough to go to the Down Town kindergarten by yourself! I can't take you today. I have my garden club meeting.
MEGETTE: But Grandma, I have my own house, and my own mailbox. See? I also am not in school anymore, and my parents don't live here.
GRANDMA: But your best friend is a stuffed dog!
MEGETTE: And I got dressed myself, and I'm old enough to flirt with boys.
GRANDMA: Boys? What boys?
A honk honk is heard, and their heads turn to the fence.
GRANDMA AND MEGETTE: Major CuteBoot!
He dismounts his electric scooter. He is shown to be a guy with a funky red hairstyle and a striped jumpsuit, plus black woman's boots. Megette can't stop grinning.
MAJOR CUTEBOOT: Hello, Grandma! Hi, Megette! Gosh, you're so happy today!
MEGETTE: I'm always happy to see you, Major CuteBoot.
She twirls her hair and starts giggling. Grandma's cat, Cracker Jack, begins to snicker.
GRANDMA: Cracker Jack, stop that! What is wrong with you? Cats can't laugh.
Cracker Jack stops.
GRANDMA: Megette, what is going on? You don't seem yourself.
MEGETTE: Nothing. Everyone's perfectly peachy! And don't you love my new boa? I've decided to start a collection!
GRANDMA: Peachy? Now that's a phrase I haven't heard from you yet.
MAJOR CUTEBOOT: Wow, a collection! Can I see?
MEGETTE: Sure. It's totally new and cutting edge. Once I start it, anyway.
GRANDMA: You have a boa collection? That doesn't sound like you, missy. Be yourself: that's the law.
MAJOR CUTEBOOT: Somehow I bet that's the theme of today's episode.
MEGETTE (overly playful): What are you talking about, Major CuteBoot? You just broke the fourth wall, buddy!
She smiles at him.
MAJOR CUTEBOOT: Anyway. I have something in my bag here. Package for Megette the girl!
MEGETTE: Oh, I'm not a girl, Major Cuteboot. I'm a woman!
Grandma clears her throat loudly.
MAJOR CUTEBOOT: But this package is addressed to Megette the girl. Maybe it's for someone else.
MEGETTE: Fine, let me see it. Oh look, it's from my Great Aunt Falafel!
GRANDMA: Ah, your crazy traveling aunt. What does the card say?
MEGETTE: It says: Dear Megette. I was traveling in Massachusetts today and I decided to stop by a summer gay pride parade. There were fashions everywhere, and they were so unique. There were wigs and costumes, capes and balloons. But I saw this piece of clothing there and thought of you. You always did love to dance! Please enjoy this gift. Lots of love, your Great Aunt Falafel!
MAJOR CUTEBOOT: Open it, open it!
They help Megette open the box to reveal a twirly, thick pink tutu.
GRANDMA: Oh, how wonderful!
MEGETTE: Yeah, but it's for little girls! I'm a big girl.
GRANDMA: Try it on already! You have to be thankful for gifts from your family. That's the law!
MEGETTE: Okay, okay.
She puts it on.
MAJOR CUTEBOOT: Wow! You look amazing!
MEGETTE: I do? Yeah, I guess I do.
She twirls around in the skirt, seeing his positive reaction.
MAJOR CUTEBOOT: You can use it at the dojo!
MEGETTE: Yes! Good idea! Well, we'd better be off, Grandma. We have some dancing to do!
GRANDMA: Have a good time!
She and him link arms and begin leaving the garden.
MEGETTE AND MAJOR CUTEBOOT (singing): Down town, down town, we are going to down town. Down town, down town, here we come! The place that's full of friends! The place where silliness never ends! Down town, down town, here we come!
The two arrive in Down Town, an obvious green-screened town landscape where residents are moving about the streets. The camera then zooms on on the dojo's logo.
MEGETTE VOICEOVER: Here we are at the dojo!
Cut to inside the dojo. It's looks like a kiddie gymnastics arena.
MEGETTE: Okay, show me what to do!
MAJOR CUTEBOOT: First, we warm up! Like this! (He stretches his arms down to his toes. She follows.) And this! (He criss crosses his arms above his head and holds onto one, then does the opposite.)
MEGETTE: Stretching is very important!
She starts giggling.
MEGETTE: So, when do we start dancing?
MAJOR CUTEBOOT: After we stretch!
When they're done, they hold hands and prepare to waltz.
MEGETTE: Hey, Major CuteBoot? Can I ask you something?
He notices her blushing face and eager eyes.
MAJOR CUTEBOOT: Actually, Megette, I have to tell you something.
MAJOR CUTEBOOT: I think I might be a girl.
MEGETTE: ...Hubba WHAT?
MAJOR CUTEBOOT: It's true. I always enjoyed dresses and tutus from the time I was a baby. Sometimes when I deliver mail, I even wear a dress and makeup. I feel better about my whole life!
MAJOR CUTEBOOT: It's just who I am.
MEGETTE (disappointed): Well, you have to be who you are.
MAJOR CUTEBOOT: It's true. I do! Now, if you don't like that tutu...
MEGETTE: I don't.
MAJOR CUTEBOOT: I'll wear it!
MEGETTE: Well, it's yours!
She hands it to him and he puts it on.
MAJOR CUTEBOOT: There. That's better!
He skips and twirls around the music. As he does so, he lets his hair down, creating a long, girl-ish cut. Megette joins in as they twirl around wildly. After a minute or two, the screen fades out.
Soon she is back on the sofa.
MEGETTE: What. A. Day.
She flops on the sofa. Barkey sends her a kiss.
MEGETTE: Thanks, buddy. You're a good friend. OH! I forgot to go to kindergarten! Oh, that's okay. I don't like kids much anyway. Got to be myself, right? Sometimes that means being honest and skirting responsibility. It would be dishonest to pretend I like them.
BARKEY: *shrugs, shakes head*
MEGETTE: I guess I can't date Major CuteBoot if he-uh, she- isn't a guy. It would be like...living a lie!
BARKEY: *nods solemnly*
MEGETTE: You're right. I shouldn't pretend to be someone I'm not. I wouldn't want to go out with a liar. Major CuteBoot should stay true to himself even if we can't go out now. *sighing* Well, at least I have good friends like you to remind me that I am technically still a girl instead of a woman. I think.
BARKEY: *conjures image of Major CuteBoot with an X over him*
MEGETTE: You're right. Growing up is overrated! I should enjoy my girlhood and hanging out with you, Barkey. I can worry about dating when I'm older. For now, let's have fun.
MEGETTE: Now it's time for the Dance Academy! Let's go!
She runs off to the right. The screen changes to Megette's dance room.
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, presenting...Miss Megette's Dance Academy!
Megette enters. She bows to the crowd.
MEGETTE: Today I won't be doing a formal dance. I think they're boring. I'll be doing the Megette Dance, a dance full of moves that I like the best!
She spazzes around for a minute, then bows and exits.
MEGETTE: A story? Okay.
She reaches for the book but can't find her glasses.
MEGETTE: Oh, right. On the floor! Clumsy me!
She reaches for them, and then opens the book.
MEGETTE: Well, our allotted 25 minutes are going to run out, so we have to pick a quick one. Okay, here we go. "The Clown with a Frown."
Once upon a time there was a clown. He always walked around with a frown. The other clowns didn't like this, because to be a good clown, you had to be happy all the time. He tried and tried but he hated pretending to be happy. He just hated clowning! So he ran away from the circus to find a home, and there he was very happy and found that he could smile for real. The End!
She shuts the book.
MEGETTE: What a good story! It has a good message. Always be yourself!
She gives us a funny look.
MEGETTE: What? You think I ran away from a land of clowns to go to the real world?...No! That's silly!
She begins to stand up.
MEGETTE: In fact, I love my house just the way it is. I wouldn't run anywhere. It's warm, and cozy, and has a great couch, and-
She looks down at the floor and puts her hands on her hips.
MEGETTE: Hey! Who made this big mess?
The camera zooms in on Megette's face.
MEGETTE: I did? No, it couldn't have been! It was, wasn't it? I can't pretend that a messy clown came in and ruined the place when it was me. So I have to clean it up. It's only fair. So get ready for the Edited Ten Second Tidy! Ready, set, go!
She zooms around the room throwing everything from earlier onto the couch.
MEGETTE: Well, I didn't say I was going to tidy the couch. Full disclaimer: I'm messy. But we can't pretend to be someone we're not! And I'm not very neat. Well, what do you say, Barkey? Naptime?
Barkey nods, and she reaches for the blanket and wraps it around them.
MEGETTE: See you in our dreams. Toodle-oo!
BARKEY: *conjures image of a cat in his speech bubble*
MEGETTE: What do you mean, you're a cat?
BARKEY" *conjures images of laughing*
MEGETTE: Geez, sillyhead, you scared me. Night night!
This was written as a silly "brain break"-you need one when you're working on longer stories! Special thanks to those who chose to spend (er, waste) their time on this little parody. Hopefully it made some sense if you've seen the show. No offense to any group is intended.
I aimed to make fun of a few points/answer some questions. This parody may answer the question of why two of the lead roles, who were super obvious for each other, never got together romantically, as well as how old Loonette (er...sorry, Megette) is. Among other things.