On a night like tonight is there enough magic in the air? If I stand again in this field, if I wish hard enough can I conjure the power to fix everything that went wrong? Can I summon the energies of the stars and planets above? Can I channel the currents of static electricity in the dry air around me? Can I re-forge those crystalized moments of time if my will is strong enough? Can I re-chart the course of history? If I want it enough, is there power here to undo what was done? Can I overcome regret through sheer force of will?
Is the distance between this earth and the sky above so insurmountable as it always was? Or tonight, just tonight, can I grasp the stars again? Is my strength completely spent? Is there power yet within this withered frame? Can I still beckon the fates and call forth the terrors of the dark? Shall we dance once more?
A breath, a hope, a wisp of a vapor... take shape my thoughts, give substance to my desire. Grant me again what I had before. Let me create again the worlds that were. Permit me once more, just this one more time to mend that which was broken. Give me those moments once again to relive and correct. Let me rewrite them and give life again to this death.
I summon thee my muse.
Speak again as you did and show me what can be. Though you are old, though you were discarded live again and guide my hand. Show me once more the magic of the night that peers through the walls of time and let an old man repair this broken dream.
She is old indeed. She is frail, thin like the mist. She glides through the air, carried by the gathering wind. She looks at me, looks through me.
"You cannot go back," she whispers.
"I can." I reply. "I can if I choose."
"Don't." her voice is a sigh, a resignation.
The abyss swirls around us as I work the old magic this
I see the circle we sat in. The snow is falling outside. We are children and we are talking about time and the end of innocence and what it would be like for all of us to look back on this moment from the future.
I see the city as I drive. I see the lights glittering distantly in the dark and I see the deep silhouette of the great mountains behind them. I am crying at the beauty of it.
I see the glare of the burnt brown sodium lamps as trainees stand in rigid formation. I stand with them. Afraid with them. Wondering why we chose to come.
I hear the cries of a newborn. The beeping of monitors, the terse directions of doctors and whir of machines. I am exhilarated and terrified.
I feel the gentle hesitant falling rain as I stand in the parking lot. As we stand there and consider just how far away we can run... and I hear myself say "No"
I feel the chill of the freezer as I stand amongst the isles and isles of boxes. I hear the music over the speakers and I think I have my whole life to live.
I feel the great peels of thunder overhead. The rain soaks through my clothes and the lightning burns my eyes as I pray into the storm. "Show me what to do!"
I see the carnage of the wreck all around me. I hear the sirens. I see the flashing lights.
Ghosts of the past. I revisit these places... these times, but I can't hold onto them. They sting when I try to grasp them. I've been to these places so many times, but I can't go back. They're still dead and empty.
But tonight, this night, I won't fail. I grasp the muse, the prescient girl of old. I won't let go until I have what I need, until the magic of this night bends finally to my will, until she shows me how to go back once more because I ask it... because I demand it.
The snow, the lightning, the crying, the dark and forbidding mountains. I reach out with wrinkled but steady hand to take hold of them. I will force the dream to take on substance, I will make it come to be.
And there in the dark and swirling mist; in the center of that terrible and old magic the muse, the prescient girl, weeps softly because I will not listen. Because it will be as I have declared and she knows that there is no bottom to it. She knows I am destined to fall down forever into that black abyss of the past, and to drown in memories that have no end.
But I will have it regardless of any warning. Tonight I wield the furies of evermore; tonight I will remake the world. I will set it right.
The darkness envelopes and I begin.