So here is where the Worm arrives, if I were a better lyricist I could write a musical number for Dum-Dum sing titled 'What Pet Will I Get?' but since I'm not I'll just settle for regular prose. But once again the buildup will be a bit more drawn out than in the original story.
Dum-Dum showed his Mom a brochure for Adopt-A-Freak and the more his Mom read it, it seemed like Humanimals were the perfect pets they can feed themselves (Some can become five star chefs) they don't need to be housebroken…Provided their older than toddlers all they need is a same restroom for a human, and they seem to be the perfect companions for children! They can provide endless entertainment with singing, dancing and acrobatic feats! And it was all for the exceedingly low price of 19:95!
She called Adopt-A-Freak "All right Ma'am." Said the Lady at the other end "Your Freak will arrive next week."
"Wait!" Exclaimed Mom "Don't I get a choice in what I get?"
"The Humanimals are chosen at random Hon." Said the Lady "And besides the options are limited to what we can smuggle out of Wrangler Planets so we can never be sure of what we'll have at any given time…"
All throughout the week Dum-Dum couldn't stop fantasizing about what kind of Animal his Freak would be, he would pace back and forth in a daydream imagining a whole menagerie of possible creatures.
"Maybe my pet will be an elephant or a bear or one of those exotic birds with the colorful feathers!" He said to his parents as he paced wildly about the kitchen.
His eight year old mind began imagining Animals that his parents found unnerving "Maybe I'll get a snapping crocodile or a chest pounding gorilla or a slithering snake!"
"Dear…" His Mom said "…There is a very high likelihood your freak will just be a common dog or cat." She said this probably to assure herself more than her son.
"Well." Said Dum-Dum. "They'd still be a talking dog or cat, that's better than a regular dog or cat."
The next Saturday a large truck arrived with a large rectangular thing covered by a white sheet.
Dum-Dum could barely breathe he was so excited! Finally he would see what his new pet was!
Everything seemed to go in slow motion as the workers lifted off the white sheet revealing a steel cage then they slowly opened the door to that cage and inside…
…Was a gigantic Earthworm! Earthworm Humanimals since they have neither skeletons not exoskeletons do not have arms or legs instead they are just really large worms as long as a man is tall and given eyes to see things with, in fact the first thing the Worm did when his cage was opened was shade his eyes with his tail as he squinted in the bright sunshine.
"Hoo Boy it's bright!" The Worm exclaimed "I got to get underground before I'm burnt to a crisp!"
Quick as lightning the Worm bolted off the truck, leaping towards the front line and boring a hole with his head so fast you'd think he was a jackhammer, in a very short about of time the Giant Worm was completely underground leaving a giant hole in the front lawn.
"My lawn…"Dum-Dum's Dad said in a heartbroken voice
If you listened very closely you could make out the faint sound of a trombone going 'Whomp, whomp, whaah.'
Dum-Dum's Mom took Dum-Dum by the wrist and marched over to the driver of the truck "Is this really the best you had to offer?" She asked "I mean I know you said the choice was random…"
"Yes it is Lady." The Truck Driver said "For every adoption they pick out a handful of the Humanimals' names and put them on this Wheel-of-Fortune type wheel whichever name the wheel lands on is the Humanimal whose sent.
"That sound horribly reckless." Said Mom "What if someone has dander allergies…"
"Lady." Said the Truck Driver "If you're allergic to animals what are you doing getting a pet freak?" He handed her a booklet titled 'The Guide to the Care and Feeding or your Humanimal.'
"I recommend you read that from front to back." The Truck Driver said "And remember if the adoption doesn't work out you send him back to us, no refunds, no exchanges."
Mom went back to Dad "Well…It could have been worse." She said "All this week I was paying 'Please don't be a snake, please don't be a snake' and it's not a snake, it's a worm, I can handle a worm worms don't have poisonous bites.
"I was worried it was would be a pachyderm or something else that would eat us out of house and home." Said Dad "But Worms are cheap to feed, they just need dirt and leaves right?"
(Dad had forgotten the fact that Humanimals being intelligent can work to earn their living so even if they had gotten an Elephant, the pachyderm could work to earn his food so the family wouldn't have to suffer for him)
Dum-Dum while initially feeling a bit deflated seeing his Pet was a giant worm, and realizing he could not another Humanimal decided to try and make the most of it. He went to the hole in the lawn and called to the Worm "What's your name?"
And irritated voice called back "I'm trying to sleep! I'm nocturnal! Come back after the sun sets!"
Dum-Dum sighed "Okey-Dokey." He said
As he began to walk away the Worm called back "One more thing…Tell your Dad to get organic fertilizer! This dirt is toxic! I can't eat it!"
"I'll see what I can do." Said Dum-Dum "But can I get you something else to eat? I can run down to the grocery store…"
"Just iceberg lettuce would be fine." The Worm's voice sounded weary "You get me that, I'll be set for the night…"
I'm pretty sure iceberg lettuce isn't the best for worms but maybe this one's on a diet