Hey guys! I wrote this in an exam; I was majorly running out of time and scribbled this mess down. Suprisingly it got me pretty good marks, so before chucking away my exercise books from last year I copied down some fiction stuff that I wrote. Anyway, enjoy and leave a review!

Me being a complete noob, I only just realised that I have reviews on my stuff. Anyway, bonk, thank you sooo much for your reviews and constructive criticism, you help me to improve! Regarding I am the Swift, I know that when I have an idea I just scribble and scribble without really reading back. It's quite annoying when I want to write something lengthy, but the length comes from description and a ton of stuff that just skates over my head. I will someday, hopefully soon, plan an actual long story based on what I posted including your (still talking to bonk) ideas.

Edit: Sorry for not making it clear, Abati means father, Taka is Lelaki's father, Lelaki calls him "Abati", meaning he is literally calling him "dad". Yeah.


Lelaki glanced up from his fivestones. His father was still playing the game. It was a strange game though, as it didn't seem to have any rules, and Lelaki didn't know who the other men were. His father was sure to win though, he was the strongest man in the tribe. His dance was entrancing; Lelaki's stones soon lay forgotten, mouth hanging open. His father whirled around, teeth baring, eyes menacing. Lelaki clapped together his pudgy hands in delight. Maybe he was pretending to be a lion! Splatters of crimson were going everywhere like sparks and tongues of flame. Lelaki had never seen this red water before. Was it an exciting new game Abati had made up just for him? All around, were Abati's friends, lying still on the ground, covered in red. Were they playing as well? Suddenly, Abati snarled like a wolf and crashed to the floor. His chest was red, and when he brought his hand to it, his fingers came back in the red. Lelaki thought that, like always, his father would instantly spring to his feet, roar with deep laughter and scoop a laughing Lelaki into his arms. But this time he didn't. Lelaki cocked his head in bewilderment, as the men Abati was playing with looked at him with disdain, then jogged away shouting "Victory!"

Taka took a rasping breath. He knew he was going to die. The tribe was doomed, most lay dead. Where was Lelaki? He tied to call his son's name, but only a hoarse whisper escaped his lips. He tried to listen for his boy calling "Abati?" But he heard nothing except the distant cries of the invaders. Lelaki would be captured by the enemy tribe, his beautiful son. Taka's eyes grew moist as he realised no one would be there for him, to take the place of a loving father. Then, he became aware of a presence, and he saw two eyes, bright amber against the leafy foliage. Just watching him. The tiger padded out, her soft paws silent. "Don't hurt Lelaki," Taka pleaded, tears streaming down his dirt streaked cheeks. But then a calm spread over him, and his pain ebbed. He saw the tiger, watching him, and her cubs. She was not an enemy, but a caring mother. He saw himself from above, as if his consciousness had taken to the sky, observing the scene below, small and broken, bleeding out onto the sand from a fatal wound. He saw Lelaki, his son, sat a small distance away, confused, defenceless. And then he understood as he blinked and was observing the world from his eyes again. "Take him," Taka begged. "Please!" The tiger picked her way to Lelaki and lifted him carefully into her jaws, unblinking gaze still fixed on him. Lelaki began to squirm, but the tiger started to move away into the foliage. "Take him," Taka whispered. He spent the last of his energy to keep watching until her striped tail disappeared from his sight, and then his head dropped and his vision faded to dizzying blackness.


Fellow Malay friends, I know I literally called the main character, the boy Lelaki "man" in Malay, but I find it hard to think of names ok? In an exam it's not like I can go on a name generator website. K bye! Xxx