4Chapter Four: His True Self
"And then he said I have to come clean if I want a job as his personal secretary. Come clean!" Philip scowled fiercely at his own reflection in the fancy gilded mirror. The slim, delicate young man was carefully brushing his golden hair before bed. "But what was I supposed to tell him? I was expelled from school because Roderick made up horrible stories about me. That's the truth!"
"Perhaps Lord Morgan wants the whole truth," Lady Wilhelmina said thoughtfully. The heavily built older woman had drawn up a chair just behind Philip, who was seated in front of the mirror at the elegant dressing table. On Lord Morgan's orders, the butler had given the young man a room more suitable for a young lady.
"But you told me not to be a fool this time!" Still clutching the golden hairbrush, Philip whirled around and faced his aunt. Ordinarily mild, his big blue eyes were shooting angry sparks. "You said not to repeat my behavior with Roderick. If I let myself tell the whole truth, if I tell Lord Morgan everything that happened, won't he react just like the headmaster and those other boys?'"
"You have a point, dearest. He may be just like all the others." Lady Wilhelmina plucked the hairbrush from her nephew's hand. "But something tells me Lord Morgan is different. He's an American, and they don't always play by the rules."
"Neither did Roderick." Philip couldn't help sounding sulky. All he could think about was Lord Morgan turning on him, laughing at him after they made love. The American might even try smashing his face the way Roderick had done. Philip shuddered.
"There, there, my sweet." Aunt Willy had known Philip since he was a baby. She sensed both his fear and the root cause of his agitation. Lord Morgan was a very powerful and mature male. "Turn around and sit still for me, won't you? That's an angel."
"What are we going to do?" Philip was used to his aunt cooking up schemes. She'd gotten him out of trouble many times before. When Aunt Willy brushed his hair before bed it always calmed him, and brought back a childhood feeling of safety and security.
"Well, darling, it seems Lord Morgan hasn't offered you the job. But he's in no hurry to get rid of us either. Right now we're the only guests at his country estate. But what would happen if a couple of eligible young ladies turned up?"
"You mean we could find out whether he likes men or women?" Philip liked the idea. His blue eyes sparkled. "But Aunt Willy, you told me on the train that respectable people never call on Lord Morgan. After what happened to his wife, most eligible young ladies are probably afraid of him. Why would they come here?"
"You leave that to me," Lady Wilhelmina said decisively. Her firm hands set aside the hairbrush and began briskly rubbing the tension from Philip's shoulders. "In the morning I'll write a few letters, and pay a few calls. In the meantime, I suggest you try to learn more about the everyday details of running this vast estate. Lord Morgan appears to leave everything to his butler."
"Maybe I can get Lord Morgan to give me a tour of the estate!" Philip felt more confident now that Aunt Willie was taking matters in hand. He didn't want to make a fool of himself again, the way he had with Roderick. But it would be lovely to spend some time with Lord Morgan on his own, before all the young ladies arrived.
"All right, off you go!" Aunt Willy smacked Philip lightly on the shoulder, as though to rouse him from his jumbled thoughts and foolish dreams. "Your bed is waiting, beautiful. Now shut those baby blue eyes and get some sleep!"
"Are you getting up early tomorrow morning, Aunt Willy?" Philip yawned hugely as he settled himself beneath the velvet covers. "I could come with you on your morning calls. Act like a gentleman. Show Lord Morgan how noble and unselfish I am."
"That's very sweet of you, my dear," Lady Wilhelmina said, kissing her nephew and blowing out the bedside candle. "But if you stay here, you and Lord Morgan can have coffee and get acquainted. Just don't spend so much time acting like a gentleman that you forget how to be yourself. Remember; to thine own self be true!"
"Mm." Philip couldn't quite place the famous quotation. But his aunt's soothing voice made him feel that it was very good advice. He fell asleep picturing all the different ways he could impress Lord Morgan, and at the same time be his own true self.