Fake News Reports!
China Tests 10 Million People In Wuhan And Find No New Coronavirus Cases!
This was the test:
"Are you COVID-19 infected?"
"Then you may go about your business and not be killed."
Ciara Writes Her 6-Year-Old Son A Powerful Letter Inspired By The George Floyd Riots And Immediately Releases It To The Public...
"...so people can see what a hero I am."
In A Public Statement, The Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream Empire Calls For A Dismantling Of White Supremacy!
You could start by giving your company to the family of George Floyd.
"Hey, let's not go overboard with crazy talk here."
Former President Barack Obama Finally Speaks Out On The George Floyd Riots & Looting!
And all the world's problems are now magically solved.
Fake News Wonders:
Since the majority of the violent rioting and looting takes place after curfew, maybe we should get rid of curfews.
Haven't heard from Hillary Clinton in a while. I wonder what she's been up to.
"Thank God I'm not president."
Dr. Anthony Fauci Warns That Continuing Protests Could Lead To A Second, More Deadly Wave Of Police Brutality!
Georgia Governor Brian Kemp Has Ordered A Statue Of The Great Confederate General Robert E. Lee Be Replaced With A Non-Controversial Georgia O'Keefe Statue!
"What do you mean it looks like a giant vagina?"
Richmond, Virginia Mayor Levar Stoney Has Issued An Ordinance That All Confederate Statues Be Removed!
"I think the fine people of our great state will be happy to learn that we'll be replacing them with the less controversial statues of Satan & his minions."
Hillary "Back-Away-And-Don't-Make-Eye-Contact-With-Me" Clinton Hopes The George Floyd Riots Will Lead To Change!
"Not for me. I mean, for you."
Fake News Chief Correspondent