Triplets

Three triplets are sitting in their bedroom. Their names are Gwendolyn, Saria, and Ray. Gwen is sitting on a chair and playing with Ray's hair. Saria is curled up on the ground reading a book. After a moment of silence, Ray speaks up.

Ray: I'm bored.

Gwen stops playing with Ray's hair and puts her hands on her lap: What do you wanna do, Ray?

Saria closes her book: Let's discuss where we want to go to college.

They both stare at her for a moment.

Gwen: Let's talk about boys!

Saria: Really, Gwen?

Ray: No!

They both stare at their sister. Their surprise slowly morphs into double demonic grins.

Both: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Gwen: Ray's got a cru-ush!

Saria: Pray tell, who's the lucky guy?

Gwen: Is it Ben, from gym class?

Ray: I-it's not like that!

Gwen: I assume that's why you're stuttering.

Saria: Come on, we're triplets. You can tell us anything.

Ray, hangs her head: Okay, maybe it is like that. But it's not like he even knows I'm alive.

Saria: Then we'll just have to fix that!

Ray: But I don't even know what he likes.

Gwen: Get him some cheetos. All boys like food!

Saria: Or send him a letter professing your undying love.

Gwen: You could just tell him how you feel.

Ray, head snaps up: No way! I'd die of embarrassment.

Gwen: Perfect

Saria: She's right, you can't just be that direct with a guy.

Gwen: Why not? That's how I got my past five boyfriends.

Saria: Well, not everyone has your confidence. Even though boys have the subtlety of a rock.

Gwen: Well, Saria, if you're so smart then what do you do when you like a guy.

Saria: You must be kidding. Guys? I don't have time for silly, schoolgirl crushes.

Gwen: You've never had a crush on anyone before?!

Saria: I simply haven't had time to worry about it.

Gwen: So you've never been attracted to anyone romantically before?

Saria: I just told you, no!

Gwen: I'm just asking-

Ray: Guys! You're giving me a headache.

Gwen: Sorry, Ray.

Saria: I also apologize.

Ray: It's fine. I'm just stressed, that's all.

Gwen: Don't worry, we'll find the perfect way for you to confess your feelings.

Saria: Here, I'll write a letter for you.

There is a moment of silence as they wait for her to finish. Saria scribbles furiously for several minutes.

Saria: Finished!

Gwen: Read it! Read it!

Ray: Please don't make it too embarrassing!

Saria: My dearest Ben,

From the day I first laid eyes on you, I knew that my love-

Ray: No, no, no! Don't say the L word. That isn't right at all.

Gwen: Besides, that doesn't sound like Ray at all.

Saria: Well, you're welcome to try if you think you can do any better.

Gwen; Watch and learn, Saria. Watch and learn.

There is a moment of silence as they wait for her to finish. Gwen scribbles furiously for several minutes.

Gwen: Done!

Saria: What are you waiting for, Gwen. Read it.

Gwen: Ahem. Hey, Ben

Love me, or else.

Ray: Gwendolyn Roberta Smith!

Gwen: What? It says what it's gotta say.

Saria: Most love letters don't have underlying death threats.

Gwen: It's not that bad!

Ray: Guys! I've had enough of this.

Gwen: You want to write your own letter.

Ray: No! I've had enough of this. I'm just going to go up to him tomorrow and tell him how I feel.

Saria: Are you sure? What if he rejects you.

Ray: I'm ready for that. (Stands up, hands on hips)

Saria: Wow, I didn't realize my little sister was so brave.

Gwen: *Sniff* Our little sis is growing up.

Ray: You realize we're triplets, right.

Both sisters start crying.

Ray: *Sigh* You guys really are hopeless.