I went to a Sunday service at the 1st Apostolic Church in Rockville MD—something I normally do not do (go to church, that is)! After the service, I walked over to the priest—the Rev. Donald A. Lipscom. He was busy talking to other parishioners, so I patiently waited. He eventually walked over to me.
"May I help you, my child?"
"May I perhaps see you privately, sir?"
"Of course. My office is behind that door." He pointed to it. "I'll be there in a few minutes, then we may talk privately."
I went there, sat in a chair, and waited.
15 minutes later, he came in.
"Sorry I'm late. I was talking with the other brethren."
"No problem, sir."
I had taken them off, while waiting.
"I like to go barefooted. I'll put them back on if you prefer."
"No, keep them off, if you'd like. Jesus Christ himself went barefoot!"
He sat at the desk. "And how may I help you, my child?"
"I need salvation!"
He nodded. "We all do, my child. I, myself, was a sinner before the Lord called on me."
"Oh, yes, sir!"
"Pardon me, I didn't get your name."
"Jennifer. Jennifer Mason"
"Pleased to meet you, Miss Mason." We shook hands. "I don't recall seeing you in my church before."
"This is my first time. My girlfriend recommended me to you."
"Oh. And who is your girlfriend?"
"Oh, yes! Charming girl."
"She told you that you are truly a man of God."
"Well, I hope not to disappoint her—or you!"
"Well, tell me about yourself."
"I'm a bad girl! I don't know if Jesus can forgive me!"
"Jesus forgives all who come to him."
"Oh, that's so great to hear, sir!"
"Please call me Reverend Don. Or just Don would be fine."
"Yes, Don. So, how can I be saved?"
"I will help you, Jennifer."
He got up and walked over to me. He kneeled at my feet and began caressing them—even kissing them! Finally, he rose and faced me.
"I do believe that you are ready. Come with me. Oh, and you needn't put your shoes back on, at least yet."
I got up. He led me out of the office and back into the main worship area. It was empty, by now. A baptismal pool was on the left side of the altar.
"In the name of Christ, I shall now wash your sins away! "
He slipped his shoes off and got in.
"Join me, dearest Jennifer."
I didn't plan on getting wet—but I got in!
He held me. "I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, amen."
He dunked me back into the water, then held me up again.
"Your sins are now absorbed, my child!"
He began hugging me, in the water—and he wouldn't let go! He eventually started kissing me. Then he dragged me down with him in the water!
I had enough of this. I gave him a couple carefully placed punches!
"You have a peculiar way of 'saving' girls, Reverend Lipscom!"
I punched him in a spot on his head, causing him to pass out! Then I carried him out of the font and place him on the side of the altar. Afterwards, I ran back into the office, put my shoes on, and left the church. Fortunately, it was a summer day, so I didn't have to worry about getting cold!
I got into my car and drove into a shopping center parking lot, where I made a phone call:
"Hi, Barefoot Jenny."
"How'd it go?"
"Like a charm. He fell for me hook, line, and sinker!"
"So, you think there's ample reason to investigate him for sexual misconduct?"
"More than ample!"
"Great work, Jenny!"
The Reverend Donald Lipscom went to jail on several sexual misconduct charges. I got $500 for my work—pretty good for getting 'baptized!"