Calum belongs to me; Leif and Cora belong to Chaotic Dawn.


Thoughts at Midnight


Calum doesn't know where he'd be in life without his precious boys.

He almost can't remember a time when Leif and Cora weren't part of his life. Sometimes he thinks of those times, and the thought makes him shudder. The immortal truly was depressed for all those centuries.

But now? He's always happy, carefree, and never felt more loved and supported. Calum would move heaven and earth if it meant his soulmates could be safe and protected. If anyone ever attempted to harm them, Calum would make them regret it.

The heat doesn't bother him as much as it used to, but sometimes he still feels its effects. The immortal can stay out a bit more than he could before, but Leif and Cora always ushered him inside after a mere hour went by.

Calum understood why his fish and rabbit were paranoid. He almost died from unknown causes a year ago, and they never wanted to go through the pain of almost losing him again. Cora in particular was especially nervous; Leif was too in a sense, but he kept a tighter lid on his nerves than Cora did.

Cora was the needier one in their triad. He always curled up beside Calum and wrapped an arm around Leif while they slept, and he was quite clingy, particularly when it came to his snow leopard. Calum knows Leif understands and doesn't mind Cora is closer to Calum than him.

They all love each other equally; there's no bounds when it comes to their feelings for one another. Cora was just scared of losing Calum because of how they met, so that's why he tended to cling to him far more than Leif. But, despite it, the teal haired youth did cling to Leif at times, particularly when Calum was off doing his own thing.

The triad understood each other more than they did anyone else. If one of them was off or not feeling right, the other two would know instantly and do anything they could to help their soulmate feel better.

Cora's thing was nerves - he could be rather jittery and scared when he didn't know where Calum or Leif were. And Leif's was migraines and stress. Finally, Calum's was his strange illness. They had their imperfections, but it didn't put a damper on how much they cared and loved one another. In fact it made their affection for each other burn even brighter.

Opening his eyes, Calum adjusts to the darkness of the room, the moon casting a faint glow. The immortal looks over at his soulmates; Cora's curled against his right side, head tucked securely under his arm, while Leif is on his other, arms thrown haphazardly on his stomach and under his back.

Smiling softly, a gentle chuckle bursts free from Calum's lips as he presses a kiss against Cora's forehead, then doing the same to Leif. He truly loves these boys. He doesn't know where he'd be without their presense in his life.

Flicking his gaze outside, watching leaves billow in the faint breeze, Calum's thoughts wander, not for the first time, to when his soul marks bore no color or life. It was a truly dark time - one where he even contemplated suicide. But he's so glad he hung on. He couldn't imagine how his soulmates would feel if the snow leopard mark on their back and ankle always remained gray and lifeless.

Clinging tighter to his boys, Calum closes his eyes, trying to calm his mind so he could go back to sleep. But it seems to not want to quiet down, making a sigh tumble from him as Calum looks outside again. Sometimes he gets this way, where his mind doesn't shut up and makes him think of darker times, and he doesn't want to burden Leif nor Cora with it.

But a kiss is pressed against his lips, another on his neck, and Calum blinks, looking into deep ocean and beautiful violet. "Did I wake you?"

Leif shakes his head, grazing his fingers against Calum's cheek. "No. We sensed something was wrong."

Cora cuddles against his side, nodding in agreement. "It's something we know has been bothering you for a while, but you just haven't said anything. So out with it, Cal."

A fond smile curls Calum's lips as he combs his fingers through Leif's hair and tightens his arm around Cora. "I can't hide anything from you two, can I." It's not a question - they know it as fact.

"I'm surprised you tried to keep it from us," Leif gently scolds, playing with one of Calum's ears. "As Cor said, out with it."

Calum heaves a deep sigh, not sure how to approach the conversation. "I… never said this, but before I felt your soul marks come to life, I contemplated suicide on multiple occasions."

"Cal, no…" Cora whispers, pain covering his voice like a thick layer of honey. He kisses Calum's neck, tightening his hold on the immortal, and Calum can feel tears dust across his skin. "I can't imagine not having you in my life. I already almost lost you once!"

"Cora…" Calum murmurs, wrapping his arms around his rabbit and holding on. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to say anything because I knew how hard it would be for both of you to hear it."

Leif sighs as well, moving so he's on Cora's other side, securing their small one within his embrace as well. "Calum isn't going anywhere, little one."

Cora clings desperately to Calum, but he leans into Leif's touch as well, breath coming out shaken. "I… just don't want to think of not having you…"

Calum kisses the top of Cora's head, gliding his fingers against his back where the soul marks rest. "I know. I always brought myself back by saying my soulmates would need me one day, and I didn't want them to not feel my mark, just as I hadn't felt yours or Leif's for centuries."

Cora hiccups, lifting his face to press his lips against Calum's. It's messy and gross, but conveys all the emotion he feels, so Calum returns it with his own feelings. He notices Leif kissing Cora's neck and running his fingers through teal strands, trying to reassure him in his own way everything will be okay, and Calum feels the tension bleed out of Cora's frame at the tender ministrations.

"Promise… promise us you'll tell us if you ever get that way again?" Cora whispers, tucking his head under Calum's chin and gliding his hands against his sides. "We… we don't ever want to lose you."

Calum nods, reaching over to clasp at Leif's hand, knowing this is affecting him just as much as Cora. "I promise, but with both of you in my life, I know that darkness will never afflict me again."

Cora nods, wrapping his arms around Calum's middle and cuddling his cheek against his chest. "I'm glad. Because if you ever left us, we'd follow you without a second thought."

Calum's eyes widen at those words, sadness coiling in his stomach at Leif's affirmative nod. "Please… please don't ever say those things," the immortal whispers, pulling on Leif until he falls next to Cora. It's his turn to cling to his soulmates, wrapping both his arms and soul mark around them. "I would want you to live."

Cora murmurs something unintelligible, but Leif is the one who speaks. "We just want you to know you mean more to us than the world and life itself."

Cora nods against Calum's chest, giving it a gentle kiss as Leif traces his fingers against Calum's cheeks. The triad lay in silence for a few moments, letting the heavy air dissipate, before choosing to speak again. Calum is the one who breaks it with, "I love you both. So much. I will always protect and shield you against anyone who would think to harm you."

Leif laughs gently, kissing Calum's neck as Cora tightens his grip around his middle. "We know. And we'll always be here to battle beside you when your mind grows dark."

Calum sighs softly, feeling safe and secure with his soulmates within his embrace. "We should sleep… the day comes sooner than you'd think."

"Mmhmm…" Cora mumbles sleepily. He's the first to doze off, clinging to Calum and curling against Leif.

Leif smiles tenderly, placing his own kiss against Calum's lips for a brief stint before pulling back. "We love you, Calum. Now and forever."

Knowing Leif is serious when he uses his full name, Calum nods, chasing his lips once again before dusting his fingers across the scar on Leif's face. "I know. And I'll love you both until the world burns, and even then I will love you."

Seeming satisfied, Leif tucks his head under Calum's chin, soft snores dripping from him after a few minutes go by.

Calum's mind finally quiets, and he closes his eyes, letting sleep wash over him like a warm duvet.


Fin.