"The Sensational Night Shadow in… Ketchup King and Mustard Queen's Deadly Antics"
Created by The Spectacular SpiderDom
In the city of Seattle, Washington, 2035…
"Are you sure you can make it to my show on time? I don't want to rush you."
"You forget who you're talking to sometimes. I got super speed. I can make it to your show in less than a second."
Mason Moonstone: The Sensational Night Shadow patrolled the streets in the dark of night. He spoke with his girlfriend, Sydney Connor, through video chat. As he swung through the city, he tossed his phone up and caught it with his hands. In the process, he watched for flying cars as they drove through the night.
He hopped on the hood of one car, grabbed onto the bottom of another, and lunged himself forward.
He found himself gliding through the air.
"What are you, The Flash?" Sydney joked. "Mason, look. I know I get bummed when you don't make it to my shows, but I understand why. You want to keep the city safe in honor of your mother's memory; it's what defines who you are. But I don't need you to rush through patrol just to see me perform. What if a crime happens and you're not there to stop it?"
"Even though Technolocity got out of jail weeks ago, he and Nagini have been quiet recently. Makes me a bit suspicious-Jesus!" Night Shadow quickly evaded a truck that drove at the speed of sound. He landed on a building and flipped off the driver. "Watch where you're driving, asshole!"
Sydney looked at her boyfriend with a deadpanned look. Her arms were folded.
Night Shadow nervously chuckled. "Sorry… as I was saying, they have been quiet, but they do strike back, I know I can count on Monsoon Gal, Frosty Beetle, and Pyro Lad to take care of the problem."
Sydney sighed. "I guess you're right."
"Sydney, I promise… I'm gonna be there this time."
"I hope so… See you there. I love you."
"Love you too, honey."
Hanging up the call, Night Shadow climbed to the top of a building. He checked the time, as Dunnere popped onto his shoulder.
"7:42 PM," Night Shadow smiled. "I got eighteen minutes before I can make it to her show. If I do just one more stroll around the city, I can make it to her show in no-"
A puddle of red liquid splattered all over Night Shadow's face, scarring his salamander demon. Dunnere shivered for a bit before he raised an eyebrow. With his finger, he stroked the red liquid on his master's face and tasted it. Smacking his tongue, he discovered the substance had a familiar taste.
"Mason," he tapped his master on the shoulder, motioning via sign language. "Taste this."
His master licked the substance.
"Is this… ketchup?" he asked.
"Now, why would a giant ball of ketchup hit you in the face?"
"I'm not sure," Night Shadow replied, looking to the right. "But I have a feeling it has something to do with that guy."
Driving rampantly across the streets was a vehicle that caught both the superhero and his demon by surprise. A military assault vehicle drove down the road, shooting globs of ketchup and tomato paste at an opponent in the distance. Curious, Night Shadow and Dunnere glanced upward and saw a military tank cruising down the road. Obviously, it wasn't as fast as the assault van, but it definitely packed more than a punch. The tank itself was yellow and on each side was a picture of a cartoon queen holding a golden staff with a bottle of mustard sitting on top of it. The character also had a bottle in her hand.
Night Shadow noticed similar details on the red vehicle as well. Only the character didn't look as professional as the mustard queen. The character was a chubby king with a bulky build and a large brown beard. He was stuffing his face was hamburgers and hot dogs, all of them were covered in ketchup.
Each vehicle had their own logos.
"MUSTARD QUEEN'S PALACE OF MUSTARD."
"KETCHUP KING'S WORLD OF TOMATOES."
As if things weren't strange enough, Night Shadow could see two people sitting on the top of each vehicle. Surrounding them were minions that wore similar colors as they did. On the ketchup-themed vehicle, a man in his late twenties had Caucasian skin with blonde hair and amethyst colored eyes. For attire, he wore a red spandex suit that covered his whole body. He had red gloves with green fingertips, and he had sashes and belts all over his body. With beige and green colored combat boots, the man had a golden crown on the top of his head and a red mask; the tails of the mask blew against the wind. On the man's chest, shoulders, and kneecaps, he had a graphic image of a tomato.
"You're gonna pay for what you did to my restaurant, bitch!" the man shouted in a thick British accent. "I, Ketchup King, shall not let you make a mockery of my restaurant!"
Shooting a pile of ketchup at the tank, the woman operating the machine gasped and moved to the side. The glop itself hit a building behind her. Thankfully, no one was hurt… except someone's tuxedo.
"Who are you calling a bitch?" the woman cackled like a supervillain. She spoke in the same accent as her brother. "You're the one who was scared of Santa Claus for twelve years!"
"How would you react if you found out someone watched you while you slept!?"
Night Shadow rubbed his head, glancing at the woman.
She looked to be slightly older than Ketchup King. She had auburn hair and amber eyes. For attire, she had yellow spandex that covered her body like her opponents. And just like him, she had straps that covered her chest, arms, and legs, but they were a dark blue instead of brown. With orange covered gloves and blue fingertips, she had black and beige colored boots. A yellow mask with length tails covered her face and on her chest, shoulders, and kneecaps were graphic images of a drip of honey mustard.
"Hold still, sis!" Ketchup King shouted, as he fired another puddle of ketchup at his sister. Mustard Queen dodged to the side and snarled, as the two of them continued their donnybrook.
"You're gonna have to do better than that, idiot!" Mustard Queen chuckled.
Night Shadow himself stood on the building with his arms folded. "This is without a doubt the weirdest battle I've ever seen. I know they're not using lethal weapons, but I have a feeling civilians are gonna be in danger. Better head down there and stop these two before I head to Sydney's show. I'm sure I can make it on time… right?"
Shrugging his shoulders, the master of darkness raced down the building at supersonic speeds. Once he made it to the ground, he watched a pool of mustard shoot out of the tank. They missed Ketchup King's vehicle and were heading straight for a little girl playing with a teddy bear.
Like the hero he is, Night Shadow grabbed the child and jumped onto the wall of a building, watching the mustard puddle splash on the ground. The sudden impact frightened a set of humans with animal limbs.
Night Shadow gently placed the girl on the floor. "Let this be a lesson to you, kid, never eat at fast-food restaurants."
The young child ran back to her mother, who had a cybernetic right eye.
Shrugging his shoulders, Night Shadow raced down the road to help more pedestrians.
Grabbing a few of them with his shadowy tentacles, he gently pulled them away from the fight before he leaped into the air. Shooting a Dark Whip forward, Night Shadow swung across the city and landed on the back of Ketchup King's vehicle.
"You all have the right to remain silent!" he smirked. "You're in direct violation of… of…"
Ketchup King and his minions awkwardly stared at the superhero.
"You should have thought of the joke's ending before you said anything," Ketchup King commented.
"Like you can do better," Night Shadow rolled his eyes.
"Minions, stop him!"
Night Shadow briefly glanced at the minions charging at him. They were all wearing red polos with white aprons and black pants. With shiny black shoes, they had fingerless black gloves. All of them charged at the superhero, but they were no match for his strength.
"Nice uniforms you got there," Night Shadow grinned, leaping over the minions and kicked them off of the tank. Thanks to the laser blasters Bertram Van Cyrus gave to him, he switched to goo mode and created a web of purple slime. The minions fell safely on top of it. "I wouldn't want to be caught dead wearing one, but you guys make it work!"
A minion swatted at Night Shadow, but he ducked underneath the attack without looking. The superhero tripped the female off of her feet, grabbed her with his dark tentacles, and tossed her over his shoulder. He softened her fall with a glop of goo.
Ketchup King turned around and noticed that half of his minions were defeated.
"What's the matter, Ketchup King?" Mustard Queen taunted. "Is Night Shadow giving you a hard time? Ha! That technically means he's on my side! Mustard Queen for the win, baby!"
"Oh, don't worry, sweet-heart," Night Shadow grinned, as be broke out of a minion's headlock. "I won't leave you behind. Give me a few seconds."
The superhero jumped on top of Ketchup King's shoulders, covering his amethyst eyes with his hands. "Hey, what's up, guys? Welcome to Night Shadow's live stream. Today, I'm gonna show you how to stop a Stryker Assault Vehicle from firing globs of ketchup."
"Get off of me!" Ketchup King snarled. "Wait, you know what type of vehicle this is?"
"It's what happens when you have a military father," Night Shadow winked, as he messed around with the control panel. "Oh, all of these buttons look shiny. I wonder what all of them do!"
"Don't mess with that! It's delicate!"
"You're a supervillain and you make delicate shit like this? Stupid people like you make my job a whole lot easier."
Suddenly, the gun turrets on the frontal sides of the vehicle turned around. They aimed themselves at the captain. Night Shadow pressed a red button before he jumped off of Ketchup King's shoulders. Shooting a Dark Whip at a building, Night Shadow waved the wannabe villain goodbye.
"See ya later, Double K!"
Ketchup King jumped on his feet, rubbing his head. "What in the-"
He and his entire vehicle were covered in ketchup. He frowned and made a loud growl. Everywhere he looked, pedestrians laughed at him.
Night Shadow boosted down the streets with a dark aura around his body.
Mustard Queen gasped at how fast his acceleration was. She turned to her minions, who had similar uniforms to her brother's. They wore yellow polos with black aprons, and they had white crowns. "Night Shadow's coming this way! Load more ammo and stop him now!"
"Yes, Ma'am!" the employees saluted, as they got gallons of mustard and poured it into the ammo tanks. Mustard Queen grabbed her control sticks and mashed buttons on her console. Puddles, globs, and balls of her namesake shot out of the gun turrets.
But because of how fast Night Shadow was, he evaded every attack. He jumped over the final projectile and placed one of his Sai back in his holster. Taking out one of his blasters, he threw the Sai from his right hand into the left gun turret's hole and shot a laser at the other.
In an instant, both turrets exploded.
"No!" Mustard Queen screamed. Her amber eyes lit up once she watched Night Shadow climb on top of her control console. "Gah! Get back, you savage!"
She whipped out a blaster with honey mustard graphics on it and aimed it at the superhero. She fired at point-blank distance, but the hero dodged every attack. Night Shadow grabbed the weapon and yanked it out of her hands. Kicking Mustard Queen in the chest, Night Shadow flipped over her and landed on the top of the tank. His virtual red eyes glared at the defenseless employees.
"Boo," he said.
"Run!" all of the male employees shouted. The females gulped and did the same. Everyone jumped off the tank and took off running.
"Cowards!" Mustard Queen snarled. Night Shadow grabbed her by the collar and placed her over his shoulder. He leaped off of the tank and swung across the city. The tank came to a sudden stop.
Ketchup King pulled his vehicle over the side and jumped out. He stormed across the city in anger, as he wiped the ketchup stains off of his body. Though, he couldn't help but lick off some of the stains. As he walked down the road, he saw that Night Shadow had his sister in his clutches.
"That's right, Clem," the red-costumed man chuckled. "You deserve to be arrested after what you-oh, shit!"
Night Shadow chucked Mustard Queen into her brother. The two of them tumbled across the streets before they fell on top of each other; Ketchup King was on the bottom and his sister was laying on his back. Both of them were about to get up before they realized their hands and feet were trapped by webs of purple goo.
The black/blue superhero landed on top of a street lamp, staring down at the defeated supervillains.
"And that's… how you settle a dispute like a boss," he smirked, as he leaped down to the combatants' levels. Night Shadow glanced up and took a bow, as people clapped and cheered for their iconic protector. After a few seconds of clapping, people returned to their nightly routines.
Crouching down to Ketchup King and Mustard Queen, Night Shadow sat beside them in a crisscross fashion. "So, I gotta ask you two, what reason do you boneheads have for terrorizing Seattle on a beautiful night?"
"Terrorizing?" both siblings inquired.
"No way, we wouldn't endanger valuable customers like that," Mustard Queen said.
"Then, why start some civil war in the streets?" Night Shadow grunted. "Even though condiments are harmless, you could have killed someone with… hold the phone, I just noticed something. Your uniforms. I've seen them before. Do I know you two by any chance?"
"Not personally, but you've probably seen our commercials. Obviously, mine's better than the other," Ketchup King smiled, annoying his sister. "My name's Marlon Grimes, but you can call me Ketchup King. Above me is a dumbass sister, Clementine. Also known as Mustard Queen. I'm the owner of the most popular fast food joint in Seattle, Ketchup King's World of Tomatoes."
"And I'm the proud owner of Mustard Queen's Palace of Mustard, a finer restaurant than the rathole my brother owns."
"Rathole? When was the last time your place was visited by a health inspector."
"I passed my inspection, you failed yours twice!"
"It's not my fault! That exterminator I hired was afraid of rats. It's ironic!"
"Marlon and Clementine Grimes?" Night Shadow raised an eyebrow. "Why do I suddenly recognize both of your names?"
"That's probably because you've heard of our parents, Kenny and Sarita Grimes," Mustard Queen replied. "Or as America likes to call them: The long lost kids of Ray Kroc. They were founders of an old joint called Kenny's Meats and Relaxation. They bought the place when a Chinese restaurant went out of business there. My doofus brother and I used to work there when we were younger, but now, we've gone off and opened up our own places."
"Meats and Relaxation used to be a place where you eat a good burger and chill with your friends," Ketchup King smiled. "Think of it as the Central Perk Coffee Shop from Friends."
"I've heard of that place and ate there a few times," Night Shadow mirrored Ketchup King's gesture. "It used to be one of the only places you can get a freshly made burger for a good price. Ah, how I miss eating there."
"Yep, it was super popular before it closed down," Mustard Queen frowned.
"What happened?" Night Shadow asked.
"Let's just say our parents had some creative differences," Ketchup King chimed in. "It got worse to the point where they shut down the business as a whole. Because of this, Clementine and I were inspired to open up a restaurant together, so we can help our parents' business grow and help them financially… well, in today's case, we own separate restaurants. We've been around for a good three years now. Of course, one of us does better than the other."
"He's talking about me," the yellow-costumed woman giggled. "Since I have better quality food."
"Bullshit, I have the tastier food. Speedy service and hundreds of options bring in the customers. You have what, eight or twelve options on your menu?"
"Options don't matter when you have a clean building, friendly service, and chefs who work hard to make the food taste great. Speaking of chefs, I have actual humans make the food, unlike the mindless drones you have at your place!"
"I have people too; they help package the food!"
"You might as well admit that you pay the robots more than you do human workers."
"STOP IT!" Night Shadow hollered, scaring both siblings. He stood up on his feet. "This is f*cking ridiculous. Both of you are doing this to support your parents. Why are you wasting your time fighting when you could be working together?"
"Believe me, Night Shadow, you wouldn't want to work with the neat freak that is my sister."
"And you wouldn't want to work with the narcissist that is my brother."
"Me, a narcissist? Nah, I'm awesome."
Night Shadow rubbed his eyes, feeling annoyed that these two were fighting instead of putting their ideas together. He was about to say something else before he suddenly heard police sirens wailing from afar. Night Shadow opened his eyes and saw police vehicles driving down the road. He knew that his stepmother: Agent Darla Prescott was behind the wheel.
"Well, it's been nice chatting with the lot of you, but I have to get going," Night Shadow kindly bowed to the siblings. "I've got a show to go to. I hope you two can get along in jail. As we say in France, A plus tard, ventouses!" ("See ya later, suckers!").
With that, the superhero fled the scene before the police cars could surround the siblings. Darla Prescott herself got out of the car and watched her stepson leave. Shaking her head, she glared at the quarreling duo before she slowly facepalmed.
"Marlon and Clementine Grimes," she moaned. "Why am I not surprised?"
Ketchup King and Mustard Queen shared a nervous glance before they smiled at the officer.