Starting out,
We were strangers with a mutual friend or two,

I would get a message under your name:
He's overdosed again
I would worry about your friend and then you would calm me
Every few weeks we would repeat this routine

I began to become lustful for your messages
Our odd interactions became meaningful talks
But I never saw you as anything more than a friend
And I didn't believe I was any different

I kinda thought I was different
As you asked me, with a thumb in a splint:
Can you tie my laces for me?
And I did, with your girlfriend sat next to me

I kinda thought I was different
Because you hated hugs
But you always offered one to me
And now I feel cold whenever I'm near you

I kinda thought I was different
When your mum texted me:
I know he values your friendship and is open with you, please get him to open up
But you didn't want to talk
At least not to me

I kinda thought I was different
When you danced with me at a friend's party
So many drinks in that you probably didn't remember it
But I did, and I look back with fondness
Even though I spent the whole night ridden with jealousy,
At any girl who got too close to you.

I kinda thought I was different
When I told you about my feelings for you
Over text, of course
And the response filled me with happiness:
Like its crossed my mind cuz your not clapped and like you have a likeable personality
So delighted that I didn't even correct your spelling or grammar

I kinda thought I was different
When we went to the cinema
And a friend of mine worked behind the till:
Do you want to sit with him? Jerking her head in his direction
I nodded with a smile: Yeah, I'm with him.

Now, I listen to sad songs alone,
Not with you like we used to
Sometimes, I think of you
But it usually hurts too much.

Cuz I kinda thought I was different,
From the six other girls you were talking to,
But I guess I was wrong.

I wasn't anything different to you.