body a hothouse i am
selfless and selfish, hungry for
anything that might hold me

here. i listen to 'I Love The Valley,'
listen to 'Youth Decay.' i'm as close
to 40 as 15, less veil-piercing teen

and more origin story for someone
else's neurosis. i could sweep up
the dust, unpack the plastic

from last year's move. and the move
before that. now when my mind
itches someone else's thoughts,

i can stonewall, clearcut.
what do you say to the silence
in their place. now i can outlast

any impulse. all that's left
is the night and myself.