Perhaps if I close my eyes really tight, and cut of circulation to my heart, I can pretend that none of it was real. perhaps I can pretend that you never existed and that love is just a wish for sentimental fools driven to madness by their hopes and dreams. Perhaps, if I can pretend you never existed, then the loss of your love and the loss of you from my life; that my existence won't seem so small. But I fear that it won't last, because every time I fall asleep, I dream of what we were, and what we had, and what we could have been. And I wake up with tear soaked pillows wishing that what we had was real. that what we had meant something.

And every morning when I rise, I find I need to cut off the circulation to my heart so that I don't feel the pain of it from within my chest. And I try to wipe every memory of you from my mind, so that I can make it through the day without crying on the outside.

And I hope that where ever you are, as mean as it might sound. I hope that you too are having the same trouble, because then it means that I'm not the only miserable soul left in the universe. Maybe then goodbye won't be forever.