Fake News Reports!

A 90-Year-Old Woman In The UK Became The First Person Outside Of The Trials To Receive The U.S.-Developed COVID-19 Vaccine!

Once again, America Steps In To Save The World.

Meanwhile, In The UK, A 90-Year-Old Woman Became The First Person Outside Of The Trials To Receive The U.S.-Developed COVID-19 Vaccine!

"I just hope it doesn't affect my pregnancy," she frets.

Presumptive President-Elect Joe Biden Recuperating After Hairline Fracturing His Foot!

"When the time comes to pull the plug," Kamala Harris assures the American people, "we will."

A Mysterious And Fatal Illness Devastates Southern India!

"Hmm... how can we spread this around the world?" wonders China.

Rudy Giuliani Assures America He's "Doing Fine" After Testing Positive For COVID-19!

Sadly, that's the last symptom you get before dying.

Jenna Ellis, One Of President Trump's Many Attorneys, Has Tested Positive For COVID-19!

I loved her on Dharma & Greg.

"Look! A Humpback Whale!" New Yorkers Point And Shout As One Is Spotted Swimming In The Hudson River Near The Statue of Liberty!

"I heard New Yorkers were rude," the whale wailed, "but there's no reason to call me names."

How Did President Trump's Operation Warp Speed Develop The COVID-19 Vaccine In Month's Rather Than Years?

"As it turns out," explained Dr. Fauci, "once we discovered it caused Erectile Dysfunction,

the FDA couldn't approve it fast enough."

Jim Duchene

Fake News Chief Correspondent