Fake News Reports!

Time Magazine Crowns Joe Biden & Kamala Harris As "Person Of The Year"!

And itself as "Ass-Kisser of the Year".

Sorry it's been so long since my last tweet.

The kidnappers took away my phone.

I really don't mind my job.

It's the work I hate.

Fake News Recommends!

ALWAYS Fly First Class!

When the plane goes down,

you don't want to spend the last few minutes of your life being cheap.

At the prices he charges, my doctor will never get my blood pressure down.

Judging by the size of the bugs, organic is definitely healthier.

I wear the pants in my family.

But it's my wife who takes the money out of the pockets.

About the Coronavirus, who knew when I was back in grade school

I should have paid more attention on avoiding cooties.

The Presumptive President-Elect Joe Biden 's Three-Part Plan For Defeating The Coronavirus In His First 100 Days In Office:

1) Ask the American people to wear a mask,

2) Tell the American people to wear a mask, &

3) Order the American people to wear a mask.

Jim Duchene

Fake News Chief Correspondent