Mommy Fell In The Toilet-Classroom Reading Session

By Shadowgate

Suzanne Smasher pulled up in the parking lot of Christopher Columbus Elementary School. She got out of her car and belched really loud causing a cigar to fall out of her mouth.

It was her fourth year as a teacher and she loved her job.

When she entered her classroom full of third grade students she said "it's time to take attendance."

All the children said "here" when called.

Mrs. Smasher then announced "children today for language arts will be reading poetry from the book Mommy Fell In The Toilet."

The class cheered.

Mrs. Smasher called on the class to turn to page 3 and then called on Kevin Guile to read the poem "Your Mom Sucks."

Kevin stood up and read out loud "your mom sucks. You and her are related so you must have the worst luck. My dick your mom can suck."

The children laughed out loud and "awing" was heard and Kevin continued "fuck you your mom sucks. I'd love to spit in your mom's face. You and your mom are a disgrace to the human race. Your mom sucks! I wish I had a shotgun to blow your mom's head off. You could cry at her funeral I wouldn't give a fuck. Your mom sucks."

Mrs. Smasher told Kevin "very good" and called on Amy Drew to read "The Bride And Groom" on page 4.

Amy stood up and read out loud "here comes the bride. She is all dressed in white. But where is the groom? He is in the dressing room. What is he doing there? He's washing his underwear. The groom pissed in his pants. Oh this wedding was a bad idea at first glance. The groom pissed in his motherfucking pants."

Mrs. Smasher yelled out loud "the groom pissed in his motherfucking pants" and the kids all had a great laugh.

Then Craig Rack was called on to read the poem on page 5 called "I Hate My Neighbors."

Craig read out loud "I hate my neighbors. I owe them no favors. They got me in trouble. I want them beheaded on the double. My neighbor is a fat bitch. She can't mind her own business. She hassled me and my friends, how dare she hit us. Her bastard husband threatened to kill me. I hate my whole fucking community."

Mrs. Smasher said "oh my what a hostile poem. Do any of you children have neighbors that you don't get along with?"

Ten of her 25 students raised their hands.

Mrs. Smasher went on to say "the next poem is one that we wouldn't dare read in front of our school principal. Becky Durham please read out loud on page 6"

Becky stood up and read "fuck the school principal. He's a fucking asshole. He's nobody's pal. I hate him big time. His face looks like slime."

Becky's classmates were covering their mouths to keep from laughing out loud and Becky went on to read "A fat bitch married him. I say loving him should be a crime. He molested my little sister. Then the perverted bastard bit her. I hate my school principal. I see him down the hall. I'd love to kick him in the balls."

Mrs. Smasher said "sometimes I feel that way about my boss."

All the children busted out laughing so loud.

Mrs. Smasher called on Karen Anderson to read the poem "That Man Wore a Bra" on page 7.

Karen stood up and read "that man wore a bra. He's sure not my grandpa. Oh call me a bigot but I think it should be against the law. Half the women in the community are appalled. They saw your queer daddy in a motherfucking bra."

The children all laughed and then Mrs. Smasher said "that was a short one and from pages 7 and 8 there is a poem called 'Disrupt The Class' which I will read because I don't like the idea of a student reading it."

All the students smiled at the title of the poem.

Mrs. Smasher began reading "disrupt the class. Tell the teacher to shove that math book up her ass. Then out loud you should yell alas, that will surely disrupt the class. Students will have fun when they disrupt the class. Some students might enjoy telling the teacher to shove a math book up her ass. Oh yes all children should disrupt the class."

The kids all cheered out loud.

Before long it was time for math but the children sure had fun reading poems from the book "Mommy Fell In The Toilet."

The children were all dismissed at 3PM and at 3:45 PM Mrs. Smasher entered the teacher's lounge.

When she did she saw Mrs. Sack a fifth grade teacher enjoying a Diet Coke.

Mrs. Smasher said "today was a fascinating day. My students and I read poems from the book Mommy Fell In The Toilet."

Mrs. Sack spit out her Diet Coke all over the table. Mrs. Smasher laughed and asked "what's the matter bitch? Are you offended by that book?"

Mrs. Sack got up immediately and smacked Mrs. Smasher in the face. Mrs. Smasher yelled "I'm going to kick your ass!"

After fighting for five minutes straight the school principal fired both of them and told them he would have them arrested if he saw either one of them on the school property again.

THE END