Laying there, the light from outside hitting the window. She just lay in her bed, the covers half off her revealing her cold sombre body.
Her eyes just stared straight ahead, not acknowledging morning had come.
Thoughts ran through her mind, not having ceased since last night.
Thoughts of him... him saying goodbye to her and walking away.
Maybe she should've been the one to say goodbye first. All she was left with was an emptiness and an aching in her heart.
When he got on the bus, she wished she could've told him just once more.
"I love you."
But he was gone... gone away to fight for their lives... and now, he was in a grave.
She slowly closed her eyes, remembering his face, and his half-broken smile as he left.
She wanted to hold him close... and whisper in his ear, "Don't leave me... I can't make it without you."
"You've made it so far."
She turned her head on her pillow, as birds started to chirp outside.
She hated it... hated sound... hated light... hated how life still kept going. Her chest hurt to breathe, her body numb yet still aching all around in pain.
She got up after a while, knowing she had to keep going on with her day. Laying in bed was only useful in making her feel worse.
She stood at her front door, looking at the clouds depart and sun shine through the gaps. She smiled gently and breathed in the cool air.
That next night as she lay in bed, all the thoughts came back and she couldn't stop hearing the birds chirping in her mind, the kids laughing in the schoolyards, her friends talking around her because she just wouldn't speak.
The next morning her eyes were red from another night without sleep. Maybe she thought that if she didn't sleep the next time she went unconscious would be the last time.
The world kept moving forward without her, so maybe it was time for her to quit.
That third night she was on her side, her knees close to her in a fetus position and her eyes just staring straight ahead. And then, she closed them.
"You know what's funny about this..."
She swore she heard his voice and looked around in the dark.
"I would give anything to be alive right now... yet you? You want to die."
Life isn't beautiful... she whispered to him in her sleep.
"Life is beautiful." He replied and opened her eyes. His last words went through her drowsy mind as it was past noon in the day, "You just have to open your eyes."
She blinked her eyelids gently, feeling the sleep had come and taken away her exhaustion.
The sun was shining through the window, and she sat up, pulling the curtains back and witnessing the new day that had come.
And she saw him, in the street, looking up at her with a soft smile on his lips.
She fell out of bed and ran downstairs, opening the front door and running to him, wrapping her arms around him in a hugging embrace.
She froze, realizing the voice was not his, and she slowly moved back letting go of him. It was a young man... but she didn't recognize him.
"I thought you were..."
He looked at her confused and she closed her eyes, uttering.
"I have a letter for you, it was sent to my house down the street by accident."
She looked at him, lost, and he handed her the brown envelope.
She opened it up, right before him, and pulled out the letter that was inside.
I'm sorry I won't be with you any longer...
A lot of soldiers are fighting, and I'm bleeding out... but knowing that I did what I had to, makes me proud enough to say, Thank you for being in my life... you made my life beautiful. Never give up on it, because I'll never give up on you.
She felt frozen in sorrow, but she smiled weakly and held the letter in her hand, her arm hanging with it clasped.
"He was a good man." The neighbour said to her, "I'm sorry for your loss."
She nodded her head and he began to leave her, only asking, "Are you okay for now?"
She smiled and nodded again, tears rolling down her cheeks, "I'm so lost, but I'm okay... because I have another day."
Never give up...
"I'll never give up." She whispered to herself and could hear the birds chirping, "Thank you... for being my life. And thank you for giving my life back."
That night she closed her eyes at peace... and began living again the next morning. And every morning since.