I stared at the screen of my laptop. I didn't notice as hours just slipped by. Typing, clicking, reading, writing.
Youtube videos, artwork jpegs, emails.
Check once, twice, three times in an hour.
The night turned into day, my eyes still wide opened.
When I lay in my bed so many thoughts flashed through my head.
Of what I had read, what I had seen, what I had felt.
The feelings fleeting, nothing saddened me for too long, neither did it leave me happy for more than a few minutes.
Then I had to search for more. I had to feed my brain, my soul starving for more than what was just on a screen.
Connected, I was connected to the world. I was living in a world of my own. I had little material items, everything I desired was digital.
I was afraid to look away, to peer around me at what was real, and what wasn't.
I craved human contact, but I was becoming inhuman myself. A million opinions I had, but all were someone else's, not my own.
Type, type, laugh, like.
Veins popping in my eyes, giving me a warning I chose to ignore.
Laugh at a joke, a meme that is old, aged after only six months. Sometimes six minutes.
Chatting with strangers about special interests. Those special interests the only things that mattered, let's cut out the rest.
I had my own truth, everyone else's were just opinions.
I had things that mattered only to me, and as long as we all agreed, there was nothing that threw me in the loop.
Minutes went by like seconds. Years, months.
My posture was slanted, a small hunch in my back, an elderly person would have not a twenty-five year old.
Flabby skin, half-starved for nutrients, getting the bare minimum.
Whenever news broke people were all over it. Ruining the target person's life. Ruining lives.
Sure if you took offence to something, you were seen as "Over-sensitive" or a "Hateful" person.
Free-speech was limited if you didn't agree with the majority. The ones that were loudest were the ones heard. Floating just on the top of a pool of unspoken thoughts from all the others.
And then it came, the crash.
The internet had crashed.
I looked down to my laptop screen, trying to refresh the page again and again.
There was nothing... nothing but silence.
And the silence was the worse sound of all.
I stayed there in my chair for minutes, hopelessly repressing the refresh page over, over, over again.
I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath in and out.
I slowly stood up from my chair, pulling back the blinds and seeing it was a warm sunny clear day outside.
I would've never have known from my dark small apartment. I opened the window up, sticking my head out and breathing in some warm air.
This was it... this was my life now.
Then, I heard it.
The webpage had reloaded to the video I was last one, playing it aloud for me to hear.
I looked back to it, then to the world outside.
I gulped, before closing the window. And sitting back down.