Nobody reads "once upon a time" well. I think it's because no one likes fiction that much anymore. Not because it's fake, but because it's hard to acknowledge you can't have everything.

In fact I met a kid who yelled at me for saying the phrase once. There was something about it that just didn't sit right with her. The fact she yelled at me, an adult, wow the balls on that kid. I didn't even pick the story, she did. So we settled (after her tantrum) on saying "in an alternate universe," which in my opinion is not much better. That's just as bad as saying it's unachievable.

Oh and the kid had me say her name anytime I was supposed to say the main character's name, but that's neither here nor there.

I think if we ask ourselves, what makes something fun to read we all would say it connected to us. We all want to be special enough to have a book about us detailing our great achievements in infamous dealings. I want someone to write about me, but not about me.

I don't like me that much. So instead I'm going to write about a fictional, nay, alternate universe me, that does things I wish I could. I'm going to call them Quinn, as who knows what gender alternate universe me is, and they're going to own a coffee shop. The coffee shop is going to be successful but not Starbucks obnoxiously successful. I hope you enjoy reading. I am going to attempt to narrate the story, as I am not Quinn, nor will I ever be.