Somedays I thought

Sometimes I thought

Of course, I was wrong

Eventually

But at the time I was

Right

I believed I was

I believed so much
That it crushed me

The weight of all those feelings

It's not free

You have to pay a toll

Your mind has a capacity

And I was at max

Whenever I acquired more space

It immediately filled

It was stretched beyond my limits

Now imagine

Living in overdrive

For years

Without knowing

Just naturally

What do you think will happen?

The mind can't snap-back

Without consequence

It's not a rubber band

And even a rubber band has its limits

So, what can the mind do?

It breaks

Shatters

Left to pick up the sharp pieces alone

Bleeding to be fixed

Crying to be helped

But who?

Can't hold anyone responsible

But yourself

How unfair is that?

To be blamed for breaking

When it wasn't your fault

I tried to be better

I tried to take more than I could

I did my best

With bad situations

But what I thought

Was wrong

I didn't know

How could have I known?

What I know

I am broken

I am left to fix myself

Left to shatter again

I am stuck

I can talk about my problems all-day

That won't fix them

I need change

I need those people

To fix what they broke

I thought I could get them to

I was wrong

Again

So here I am

Writing my words

Thinking it'll help

Maybe for the moment

The marry-go-round

That is my mind

Won't stop

The moment will pass

And I will shatter again

I try to cherish when I am okay

In general, I am

But those moments alone

Those moments

Of

What I thought

Of

What I knew

They always come back

They've slowed

For awhile

Before the ride starts again

I appreciate the breaks from them

But it isn't enough

Never will be

So, I go about

The life I have been given

Waiting out the bad days

And hoping for longer good ones