A/N: written for i think my freshman Revisions class?


ORIGINAL VERSION:

we sleep at the mountain's peak

.

Thin sheets

Thin ice

Thin air

You surprised me with this climb and then

We set up camp at the flowery foot but now

I can't breathe when you're near

.

Cold words

Cold eyes

Cold hair

We explored the place pressure changed and

I scrounged a nest in the ridge you knifed but

You can't breathe when I speak without fear

.

Rough hands

Rough road

Rough where

I fashioned a rope out of your furs and

You swung it up towards the summit so

We can't breathe but we hold still here


MINIMALIST VERSION:

we sleep at the mountain's peak

.

Thin sheets

Thin ice

Thin air

I can't breathe when you're near

.

Cold words

Cold eyes

Cold hair

You can't breathe when I speak without fear

.

Rough hands

Rough road

Rough where

We can't breathe but we hold still here

...xXx...