Some of us try to ignore a ping in the back of our heads that say this is meaningless. A thing that speaks so loud that you can't be shut out; it makes the tears flow while you just stand there not knowing where it comes from only to go back to normal.

The dark void we keep at bay just to live life. Behind that smile, you could see it in others. They laugh and say, "My day is going great!"

Only to find them at the kitchen table, a bottle in their hand, a somber song playing, and a pile of similar bottles on the floor as they cry about their mother that they had not seen in ten years.

Then there is the mortality that hits you when you are at your highest point. The words of condolences seem to be half genuine and veiled attempts to keep their minds off of their own impermanence. The looks of strong people becoming husks and closing themselves off from the world.

Believing there is nothing there was the first step to a false mask worn to let others feel at ease and allow them to think you healed. It is only when the mask cracks that they see the hollow vessel that was once a loved one. Some adapt to live lives as a husk and only give brief moments of trueness before wearing the mask again.

Others try to vent this emptiness so others might fill it, but ignoring and feelings of inadequacies only deepen this void. Kind words seem like matches in a downpour. Constructive criticism seems like knives driven into the heart, and after doing it all just to be left out in the cold while others have warmth.

Life is empty without others to enjoy it with, but the emptiness is still there and can come at any moment. It matters not how many lights surround you, for the shadow will always be there. Now should this stop you from being happy?

No, but it is sometimes better to see the emptyself and hug it.