"You're worthless and will never become anything."
Good morning to you, too,
my dark corners of my mind.
To disrupt my life is for what you are designed.
What created you, I wonder, for it sure isn't me.
I have nothing to do with my mental illness or your primitive biological history.
Yet you speak to me as if you know me personally and know exactly what to say
To trip-wire my brain from enjoying my day.
Everywhere I go, you remind me of what I can never erase,
And convince me I am nothing but the sum of my mistakes.
Your deadly whispers continue to shive me silently inside
As I try to pretend you are nothing but a headache, though I'd rather just cry.
Because there is no aspirin to get rid of these aches.
I've tried every pharmaceutical, every tip or trick,
Years of therapy with nothing to alleviate
This ghost with no soul, this invisible bully
That lives inside of me like a villain with no body.
I don't agree with anything you say. I try to talk you out of your melancholy, destructive ways.
But you never change. You're relentless. You don't even derive pleasure from it.
You have no motives. You have no point. Yet you continue to exist.
You're the one that's worthless, not me.
And I have nothing to fight back with
I have to funnel the huge amounts of frustrations I have with you
Into something else so I don't get angry at people who don't deserve it.
I can't attack or yell at myself. Doing it to others is ineffective, too.
And that's what you do. You create pain, when there is none. You create hate, even where there is only love.
But at least I have these words, and I can expose you for the manipulative ghost you are.