I don't do poetry

I can't really express how I feel in words
It's just another thing I hate about myself
Add it to the list
To stupid to write
To comunĂ­cate
To just say it

But I just need to say...

I miss her
But most of all
I miss the idea of her
Of us
Of the happiness I dreamed we could have
The one I created in my head
All on my own

How could I ever allow myself to believe?
Believe this was it
That I was done
That I had my found my forever
That I had a home
A place for my heart
A safe spot
Someone who knew me
Truly saw me
With my flaws
And my fucked up ways
My ugliness
And found beauty in it

I guess it was all wishful thinking

But it's not easy to let go
To say goodbye
Start over