Buzz Kill

Once-Upon-A-Time, in a land OVERFLOWING with WEIRDOS, FREAKS, CRAZIES, and COMPLETE IDIOTS… There lived a young prince… Roughly in his mid-twenties, with long black hair and gorgeous blue eyes. One early morning, at around 9am, human time, he was frequenting the park he lived nextdoor to, as he often did, when he decided to take a moment for himself to meditate.

He found a bench by the pond and sat for a spell. He admired the songbirds in the trees, the silly geese in the pond, the smell of the fresh cut grass in the air, and then he noticed all the little boys playing baseball in the nearby field. He loved baseball, and fondly remembered all those summers he spent playing on the recreation baseball teams, as a youth. Only, today he noticed something particularly odd about the boys on the T-ball team…

They all had SHAVED HEADS!... It seemed as though today was "back from the barbershop day" on the playground, because every little boy seemed to have the exact same used-to-have-a-full-head-of-beautiful-hair, but now we all have summertime buzz-cuts!... While the prince was both APPALED by this fact, he was also strikingly INTRIGUED!... Thus, HE HAD AN IDEA!...

He literally SPRANG to his feet, and ran home, which wasn't very far, only just around the corner! He unlocked his front door, and ran right up the stairs, all the way to his bathroom. He opened the medicine cabinet, took out his electric shaving machine he'd normally use for his goatee; turned it on; and all at once fell onto the toilet, which gratefully was covered by the lid at this moment, trembling at his knees.

"What a chicken shi…" he bagan to say, when all of the sudden his two young boys walked into the bathroom, groggy from the nights rest, since it was a Saturday, and they had wanted to sleep-in, only the had awoken by the sound of their father's clammering-up the front grand staircase.

"Hey Pop's, what's going on?!" asked the youngiest boy, Stan.

"Huh?!" was all their father Drake, the young prince, could muster, still ABSOTIVELY POSILUTLEY shaking, in a stupor, with the shaving machine still running.

"What's going on?!... It's 9am, and we wanted to sleep!" returned the eldiest boy, Kevin.

"Oh, uh… I was going to shave my head," said the prince, anxiously.

"Oh!... Cool!... Why?!" questioned both the boys in unison.

"Uh… Well, because I want to feel TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY… NAKED!... If that makes any sense..." answered Drake.

"OH!... YES!... FUN!... WE WANT TO FEEL NAKED, TOO!" exclaimed the boys, again, in unison!... For they often spoke that way, being soooo undeniably close, both in age, and in brothership.

"YOU DO?!..." exclaimed their father!

"YES!... WHY NOT, RIGHT?!" they followed, together, again, in unison.

"Only, we better call Sandy and Sally over, so they can watch! And, take LOTS of before, during, and after pictures!" said Kevin.

"Ooo!... Good idea!... I'll call them, now!... Hopefully they're awake!" said Stan, as he left the room to go use the phone down the hallway.

"Wow!.. So, I guess we'll be making a day of it!... Bonding with my boys, and their respective girls, while shaving our heads!... HAHAHA!... Who'da thunket?!" said the prince. "Well, I guess I'll shave your heads, then you shave mine!... Only, you better make me look good!... I have to go back to work, later, and be seen in PUBLIC, in front of other people!... I mean…. Ya know?!"

"Oh, no worries, Pop's!... YOU'LL LOOK GREAT!... HONEST!" responded Kevin, with PLENT OF EXCITEMENT, and in EARNEST, trying to calm his father's still-shaking-in-his-sneakers nerves

Stan re-enters the bathroom, JUMPING FOR JOY!... "THEY'RE AWAKE!... & THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY OVER FROM ACROSS THE STREET!... OOO!... I'M EXCITED!... THIS IS GOING TO BE AWESOME!... WOOHOO!... SOOO MUCH FUN!... HEHEHE!"

"WOW!... I HAD NO IDEA YOU BOYS WOULD BE SO INTO THIS!" exclaimed their father.

"Well, duh, Pop's!... We've only been telling you to shave your head SINCE FOREVER!... Plus, it's getting HOT out!... And, this long hair is ANNOYING us, already!..." said, Kevin, the reasonable one.

"And, plus!.. WE NEVER SHAVED OUR HEADS, or ANYONE ELSE'S HEADS BEFORE!... HEHEHE!"… added Stan, the more easily amused one.

"Ya, about that…"

Enter Sandy and Sally, long black hair in ponytails down to their wastes, "WE'RE HERE!... READY, WITH OUR CAMERAS!... WOOHOO!" they both say, together, in unison, for they were ALSO BOTH, very tight and close both in age, and in SISTERSHIP!

Sally, the more easily amused one of the two, asks her sister, "Hey, Sandy, why don't we shave our heads, too?!... I MEAN… Uhhh…"

"You mean, why don't we cut our hair, short, too?!... SINCE WE'RE GIRLS!... AND WE DON'T SHAVE OUR HEADS!... HAHAHA!"

"Ya… YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!.. HAHAHA!... WELL?!"

"Sure!... I'll cut your hair, and you cut mine!... It'll be GREAT!"

"YAY!" Everyone cheers except Drake, who's still anxious about the idea, especially because he's not sure if he should allow the youthful boys and girls control of the situation.

Suddenly, there's a knock at the bathroom door. Collectively, they turn around and scream at the unexpected "intrusion!"... "AHHH!"…

"CLOE!... What are you doing here?!" yelled Drake!

"I should as you all the same thing!... I saw that the front door was open, when I drove by the house, so I figured I'd stop in to say hello. You shouldn't leave the door open. You're all lucky the dogs didn't run away!"

"Oh, OOPS!... That was MY FAULT!... SORRY!... I guess I got ALL EXCITED!... We're having a BIG HAIRCUTTING DAY!... ALL OF US!... EQUALLY!... It's going to be AWESOME!... Wanna join us?!" said Sally.

"SURE!... Let me tell Simon to come upstairs!... You know what?!... Simon and I are TOTALLY TRAINED IN HAIRCUTTING, so we can do ALL THE WORK!... Is EVERYONE IN THE FUN?!"

"YUP!... SANDY AND ME ARE OBVIOUSLY NOT SHAVING OUR HEADS, BUT YA…"

"BECAUSE WE'RE GIRLS!... DUH!... HEHEHEHE!"… Sandy and Sally say in unison!

"Ok, I'll tell you what…" she yells down the stairs, "SIMON, GET UP HERE! WE'VE GOT WORK TO DO, HERE!... HAHAHA!..."

Simon runs up the stairs, and joins them!... "Yes, Dear, what is it?!"

"Hey Cous, wanna shave my head?!" said the prince, half snarkily!

"SURE!... Are we all getting our heads shaved, today?!... EV IS THAT IT?!..."

They all nodd accordingly, in agreement!

"Well, everyone minus the girls, OBVIOUSLY!... HEHE!... AWESOOOME!... GOOD TIMES!... Who's first?!"

"Well, Dear Simon, since you and I BOTH TOTALLY have TRAINING, in these areas!... I'll do the girl's hair!... SHORT, but NOT SHAVED!... And, you do the boys!... And, we'll use Sally's camera for the girls, and Sandy's camera for the boys!... TAKE LOTS OF PICTURES! FROM EVERY ANGLE!... BEFORE!... AFTER!... AND, ESPECIALLY DURING!... I WANT THIS DAY TO BE WELL DOCUMENTED!... CONSIDERING NONE OF US HAVE EVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE!... Well, Simon and Me have, but… Cousin Drake over here's been a widdle baby about it, all!... Ya know?!... HEHE!..." she winks, as Drake bows his head in embarrassment.

"Sounds like a plan, Darling Cloe!... The boys will have their fun in the bathroom, since it's going to get MESSY!... HEHE!... While the girl's use the girls guest bedroom, since it has more open floor space, for a tarp, and a chair."

"Awesome, Simon Dear!... So, now!... Who's going first?!"

"I AM. Since it was MY idea, this morning," bravely, and quite literally, Drake makes a proud stand.

"ALRIGHTY!... LET'S ALL WATCH OUR SWEET, LOVING, CHARASMATIC, CHARMING, BEAUTIFUL… DRAKEY-POO… MAKE THIS DRASTIC, YET BOLD CHOICE!... YOU'VE GOT THE CAMERAS, RIGHT GIRLS?!... SALLY, YOU FILM THIS, WHILE SANDY TAKES STILL PICTURES!"… commanded Cousin Cloe.

"OK!"… The girls say in unison!

Cousin Simon turns on the shaving machine. The AWFUL buzzing noise, begins again!... Drake, and all his "Prince Eric" looking hair-type-glory, begins to quiver, also, once again!

"You OK, Drake?!... You sure you want to do this, right?!" inquires Cousin Simon, softly.

"YES!" is all Drake can say in return.

"OK, LET'S ALL say GOODBYE to your GORGEOUS LONG BLACK HAIR, then!"

"GOODBYE GORGEOUS LONG BLACK HAIR!"… This time, THEY ALL SAY in UNISON!...

"One last hair toss, Drakey-poo?!"...

Drakey-poo tosses his long(ish) black hair.

"One last finger twirl, Drakester?!"

Drakester twirls a strand of hair on his finger. The sound of the buzz-o-matic shaving machine, BLARING in his ears!

"OK!... ONE last run of your hands through your gorgeous, long black hair, Drakerino?!"

Drakerino runs his fingers, his palms, his hands through his long(ish) black hair, gripping onto his bangy bangs right at the last second!

"Alright, I'm READY, NOW!... DO YOUR WORST!... I MEAN, BEST!... Heh!... DAMN STRAIGHT!" exclaims Drake with a sense of FALSE enthusiasm.

"Hey, Uncle Drake!... I'm GETTING ALL OF THIS ON DIGITAL FILM!... WOOOHOOO!" exclaims Sally, with SINCERE EXCITEMENT.

"AWESOME!"

The buzzing noise IS RIGHT IN to Drake's ears, NOW!... "KISS YOUR HAIR GOODBYE, NOW!... PUT YOUR HEAD, DOWN, SO I CAN GET THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD AND NECK, FIRST!... THEN, WE'LL WORK OUR WAY ALL THE WAY UP TO YOUR GORGEOUS BANGEDY BANGS, DRAKEYPOO!" says the EXECUTIONER WEILDING THE KILLING DEVICE!

Our young prince takes a deep breath, bows his head down, and breaths out. He starts to feel the tickle of the machine against his neck. Suddenly, there's a COLD BREEZE, beginning flow towards the back of his head.

The COLD BREEZE, and the buzzing noise, start at his nape. Left side. Middle. Right Side. The COLD BREEZE grows STRONGER.

A little further up. Left side. Middle. Right Side. The COLD BREEZE and buzzing noise, is now at the middle of his head.

Towards his ears, now. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE reaches his ears!

Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE is now at the top of his head!... HAIR IS FALLING, EVERYWHERE!... Four inch, six inch strands in some places, GONE!... On the floor, of falling by his wayside. He stares at them, too much in SHOCK TO FULLY PROCESS anything, properly!

Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD breeze and shaving machine, stop at the top of his head.

"OK!... LIFT YOUR HEAD-UP, NOW!... DRAKEY-POO!..." commands Simon, as he turns-off the DEATH DEVICE, briefly. The buzzing stops, as does the COLD BREEZE.

Drakey-poo lifts his head up, seeing the first round of hair LITERALLY SPLATTERED EVERWHERE. Sally takes pictures of the hair on the floor, of the hair on Drake's head!... OF EVERYTHING!... Sandy keeps filming.

"DO YOU FEEL A BIT LIGHTER?!"

"A BIT!" is all Drake can manage in return.

"GOOD!... BANGEDY BANGS TIME!... ARE YOU READY?!"

"YES!"

"GOOD!"

Simon turns the shaving machine back on, again!... The buzzing continues.

Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE returns. This time, it comes from the FRONT OF HIS HEAD, towards the back!... Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE penetrates him! Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE penetrates him!

Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE penetrates him, EVERYWHERE!... THERE IS HAIR, EVERYWHERE!... PILES UPON PILES!... On the floor, in front of him!... HIS HAIR!... ALL OF IT!... GONE!... In only a few FOWL SWOOPS!

"OK, LET'S JUST TRIP UP THOSE SIDEBURNS, A BIT!"… BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE ANGRILY NABS AT HIS EARS!

"AND, WE'RE DONE!... Well, ALMOST!..."

"WHAAAAT?!"

"PUT YOUR HEAD DOWN, ONE MORE TIME, DRAKE!"

"OK!"

Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES!

"HEAD-UP, AGAIN, DRAKEY-POO, ONCE MORE!"….

Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES!

Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE IS EVERYWHERE, NOW! Drake shivers from the COLD.

"DONE!"… Simon says, turning-off the shaving machine, FINALLY. "Just wanted get AS CLOSE A SHAVE AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE, considering I KNOW this will be your FIRST and LAST time, EVER DOING THIS, EVER!... So, yaaa… HEHEHE!... FEEL BETTER, Now, Drake?!"

"I GUESS SO!... But, how are we going to clean-up all this mess?!"

"OH!... NO WORRIES, Drake!... We'll clean IT ALL UP, after the boys and girls are all done!... TAKE PICTURES, SALLY!... DRAKE'S DONE!... CHECK OUT THE SHINE ON HIS SNOWGLOBE!... HAHAHAHA!... JUST KIDDING, YOU'RE NOT BALD!... So, it's NOT SHINEY!... HAHAHA!..." he winks at Drake, who feels his head in TOTAL AND COMPLETE SHOCK!

"WOOOOAAAAW!... IN ALL MY YEARS!... I'VE NEVER DONE THIS, BEFORE!... OMG!... IT'S CRAZY, BUT…" he looks in the mirror, FOR THE FIRST TIME, since his DEATH SENTENCE BEGAN, "… But, OMG!... I ALMOST ACTUALLY LOOK GOOD, LIKE THIS!... HAHAHA!... OMG!... KORA IS GONNA KILL ME!... OMG!... HAHAHA!"… He drifts off, as he rubs his bald(ish) head, while continuing to stare at himself in the mirror.

"Hey, Simon, can we stay here, and wait our turns?!... We want keep filming and taking pictures of EVERYONE!" asks Sandy, earnestly!

"Sure, if you can wait!...HEHEHE!"

"YES!" Sandy and Sally say in unison.

"Alrighty, then, while I have the machine… KEVIN, you're eldiest, your'e up next!"

"AWESOME!"

Kevin takes Drake's seat on the toilet, and IMMEDIATELY bows his head down to begin his END.

"Any last goodbyes, Kevo?!" asks Simon.

"NOPE!... DO YOUR THING!... I CAN'T WAIT!... I'VE HAD MY HAIR IN A PONYTAIL JUST WAITING FOR THIS DAY TO COME!... But, I DIDN'T THINK POP'S WOULD ALLOW IT!... HAHAHA!... GO FIGURE!"…

"HAHAHA!... Yaaa…" Drake awakens briefly from his stupor, to answer his son.

"Alrighty, then, here we go, again, Kevo!..." Simon says as he turns on his WEAPON OF CHOICE, once more!...

Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES!

"HEAD-UP, NOW, KEVO!"

Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES!

"OK, HEAD BACK DOWN, AGAIN!"

Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES!

"HEAD-UP, AGAIN, KEVO!"

Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES!

"OK! SIDEBURNS!"

BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! CLICK!... Simon turns off the machine, again!

"WOA, KEVO!... YOUR HAIR WAS LONGER THAN YOUR FATHER'S!... BY LIKE, 3 INCHES, IN SOME PLACES!... GEEZ!... FEEL LIGHTER, NOW?!"

"YES!... OMG!... WOW!... AWESOME!..." He stands-up from the toilet, looking I the mirror, rubbing his bald(ish) head!... "THIS IS GREAT!... STAN!... YOU GOTTA TRY THIS!... OMG!... HAHAHAHA!... I CAN ACTUALLY SEE MY WHOLE FACE NOW!... I'M SUUUUCH A GOOD LOOKIN' DUDE!... ROCK ON!... HEHEHE!"…

"MY TURN! MY TURN! MY TURN!" Stan runs over, pushing the massively growing amounts of long(ish) black hair to the side with his feet. Gently, he pushes Kevin to the side, as he takes his place on the toilet, head bowed down, IN PLACE, READY! "JUST GO FOR IT!... NO LAST GOODBYES, OR ANYTHING, SIMON!... I'VE BEEN WATING JUST AS LONG AS KEVIN HAS!... IF NOT, LONGER!... LET'S DO THIS!"

"OK, THEN!"… Simon clicks the shaving machine on, again!... And, the cycle repeats, once more!

Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES!

"HEAD-UP, NOW, STANO!"

Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES!

"OK, AGAIN, HEAD DOWN, NOW, STANO!"

Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES!

"OK, UP ONCE MORE!"

Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES!

"OK! SIDEBURNS!"

BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! CLICK!... Simon turns-off the shaving machine!... "DONE, STANO!... CHRIST!... YOUR HAIR WAS LONGER THAN EVEN KEVO'S!... WOW, YOU BOYS ARE DEFINITELY GUTSY!... HOW YA FEELING, STANO?!"

He shoots-up from the toilet, pushes Kevin away from the mirror, looking at his reflection, rubbing his bald(ish) head, "AWEEEESOOOOME!... SOOOO COOOL!... SANDY, QUICK, TAKE A PICTURE OF BOTH THE BROTHERS BALDY!... OF ALL THREE OF US, EVEN!... POP'S GET OVER HERE, QUEBALL!... HEHEHEHE!"

Sandy takes their picture, while Sally starts a new video!

"So, now that I've done all the boys, who's gonna do me?!... HAHAHA!... Chloe Dear!... YOU'RE TURN TO WORK!"

"YES, SIMON DARLING!"

Cousin Cloe runs over to join her husband, already sitting on the toilet, head bent over, IN READY POSITION. "Your hair's not as long as theirs, so…."

"JUST DO IT!"

CLICK!... ON GOES THE SHAVING MACHINE!... Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES!

"HEAD UP, LOVE!"

Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES!

"DOWN, AGAIN!"

Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES!

"UP, AGAIN, LOVE!"

Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES! Left side. Middle. Right side. BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES!

"SIDEBURNS, NOW!"

BUZZZZ!... BREEEEZE!... BUZZZZ!... The COLD BREEZE INTESIFIES!... CLICK!... "DONE, SIMON DEAR!... HAVE A LOOK!"

He stands, looks in the mirror, and blows his reflection a KISS!... "MUAH!... GORGEOUS!... THANKS, CLOE DARLING!... YOU DO THE GIRLS, NOW!"

"OKIE DOKES!... SANDY, YOU'RE THE ELDIEST!... Hand the camera over to Kevin, who's turn is it to film!... AND WILL SOMEONE GET A BROOM!"

"I ALREADY GO IT!" Stan had disappeared down the steps, into the kitchen, to get the broom, dustpan, and garbage can!... "I'LL SWEEP ALL OUR MALE HAIR, INTO A BIG PILE, THEN PUT THE PILE IN THE GARBAGE!"

"BETTER YET, TAKE THE BAG OUT OF THE GARBAGE CAN!... And just sweep all the hair in to there, stan!" … corrects kevin.

"awesome!... i still can't believe we're actually doing this!... what are you girls going to get?!"

"well, i was thinking a pixiecut!... can you do a pixiecut, aunt cloe?!"…

"sure thing, sandy!... but, that's a looootta hair to cut-off, are you sure that's what you really want?!"

"yes!"… she sits down on the toilet, the hair on the floor already swept-up. she puts her head down, in ready position!

"you don't need to do that, sweetie!... we'll just take your ponytail, here!... you are sure, right?!... any last ponytail tosses?!"

sandy tosses her ponytail, "yes!... just do it, already!... i'm getting impatient!... hahaha!"

"OK!... I'VE GOT THE BIG HAIR SCISSORS OUTTA THE DRAWER, HERE!... THAT'S LIKE 3 FEET OF HAIR YOUR SAYING GOODBYE, TOO!... HERE IT GOES!"…. SNIP!... SNIP!... SNIP!... CLOE CUTS BEHIND THE HAIRTIE WHICH WAS PULLED TIGHT, ALL THE WAY UP SANDY'S HAIR! "AND, HERE IT IS!... ALL TIED UP WITH YOUR HAIRTHINGY!... WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO WITH IT?!"

"THROW IT OUT!"

"OK!..." THUNK!... "GONE!... HOW ARE YOU FEELING?!... LIGHTER, NOW?!"

"YES! WOW!... MORE!... MORE!... MORE!... CUT MORE!"…

"OK!... HEHEHE!... SINCE YOU ASKED FOR IT!... HEHEHE!... NEXT, WE TRIM EVERYTHING UP, A BIT!... THERE'S STILL ABOUT 4 INCHES OR SO, IN THE FRONT!... SO, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO WITH ALL OF THIS?!" CLOE HOLD HER BANGS, AND REST OF HAIR, IN A MINI-PONY!

"CUT IT!... SHORT!... SHORT!... SHORT!"

"OK!... LEMME SEE IF THERE'S ANOTHER HAIR THING IN THE DRAWER, HERE, BELONGING TO YOUR MOM'S!" SHE CHECKS THE DRAWER "EUREKA!... THERE WE GO!... LEMME JUST TIE IT ALL UP, ABOVE YOUR HEAD, HERE!... THERE WE GO!... READY?!"

"BEEN READY, YES!"

"OK!... HERE GOES!"… SNIP!... SNIP!... SNIP!... CLOE CUTS BEHIND THE HAIRTIE!... NOW ALL OF SANDY'S HAIR IS SHORT!... "AND, HERE IT IS!"

"GARBAGE, PLEASE!"

"GONE!"… THUNK!... "NEXT, WE KEEP TRIMMING!... PIXIES HAVE SUPERDEEDUPER SHORT BANGS!"… SNIP!... SNIP!... SNIP!... "AND, HAIR AT THE NAPE!... HEAD DOWN, SWEETIE!"…

SANDY PUTS HERE HEAD DOWN, IN READY POSITION!

SNIP!... SNIP!... SNIP!... "SHORT HAIR AT THE NAPE!... SHORT HAIR IN THE BACK!"… SNIP!... SNIP!... SNIP!... "SHORT HAIR AT THE TOP!"… SNIP!... SNIP!... SNIP!... "SHORT HAIR ON THE SIDES!"… LEFT SIDE!... SNIP!... SNIP!... SNIP!... RIGHT SIDE!... SNIP!... SNIP!... SNIP!... "AND, A LITTLE TRIM ON THE SIDE BURNS, JUST TO MAKE IT ALL EVEN!... PIXIES HAVE SIDEBURNS, THOUGH!... YA KNOW?!... IT'S PART OF WHAT MAKES THEM PIXIES!"…. SNIP!... SNIP!... SNIP!... "DONE!... LIGHTER, NOW?!"

SANDY STANDS-UP, LOOKS IN THE MIRROR, RUBBING HER FINGERS THROUGH WHATS LEFT OF HER BLACK PIXIECUT HAIR!... "IT'S AWESOME!... OMG!... SOOOO MUCH LIGHTER!... THANKS!... SALLY, GET OVER HERE, AND TRY THIS!... NOW, WE'RE GONNA BE JUST LIKE THE BOYS!... HEHEHEHE!... YOU'VE GOT THIS ALL ON FILM, RIGHT?!"

"YES!... ALL HERE!... BEFORE!.. DURING!.. AFTER, SHOTS!... AND, EVERYTHING!"… KEVIN AND STAN SAY IN UNISON!

"AWESOME!... DRAKE, ARE YOU ALRIGHT, YOU HAVEN'T SAID MUCH?!"

"SHOCK, STILL, BUT YES!... PLEASE DO, KEEP GOING!... THIS ACTUALLY TURNING OUT, FUN!... HAHAHA!"…

"MY TURN! MY TURN! MY TURN!" SALLY runs over, GENTLY pushes SANDY to the side, as SHE takes HER place on the toilet, SHE PULLS HER PONYTAIL TIGHTER, IN PLACE, READY! "JUST DO IT, TOO!... NO LAST GOODBYES, OR ANYTHING CLOE!... I'VE BEEN WANTING THIS SINCE LIKE, FOREVER!... IF NOT, LONGER!... AWESOME!"

"OK, HERE GOES!"… SNIP!... SNIP!... SNIP!... CLOE CUTS BEHIND HER HAIR TIE, TIED TIGHTER THAN SANDY'S WAS!... "AND, HERE IT IS!... IN ALL YOUR 4 FEET OF PONYTAIL GLORY!... GEEZ!... HAHAHA!..."

"GARBAGE!"

"GONE!"… THUNK!... "SECOND PONYTAIL!"… CLOE MAKES A PONYTAIL ON THE TOP OF SALLY'S HEAD, WITH THE REST OF HER HAIR!... SNIP!... SNIP!... SNIP!... "AND, HERE IT IS!"…

"GARBAGE, AGAIN!"

"GONE!"… THUNK!... "HEAD DOWN, GIRLIE!"… SNIP!... SNIP!... SNIP!... "HEAD-UP, BANGS!"… SNIP!... SNIP!... SNIP!... "MIDDLE!"… SNIP!... SNIP!... SNIP!... "LEFT SIDE!"… SNIP!... SNIP!... SNIP!... "RIGHT SIDE!"… SNIP!... SNIP!... SNIP!... "TRIMMING THE SIDEBURNS!"… SNIP!... SNIP!... SNIP!... "DONE!... LIGHTER, RIGHT?!"

SALLY, SHOOTS-UP!... LOOKS IN THE MIRROR!... AND, SCREEMS!... "EEEEEOOOOOW!... AWESOME!... LOOK AT ME!... I'M A FOR REALS PIXIE!... I CAN FLY!... MY HEAD DOESN'T WEIGH A BAGILLION POUNDS, NOW!... HEHEHE!... PICTURE TIME, ALL SIX, OF US, NOW!"

THEY TAKE PICTURES, AS CLOE READY'S HER OWN FOOTLONG PONYTAIL! "SIMON DEAR, GET OVER HERE!... LET'S FINISH THIS ALL-UP!"…

"YOU GOT IT, CLOE DARLING!"…. SNIP!... SNIP!... SNIP!... SIMON CUTS BEHIND HER HAIRTIE, "AND, HERE IT IS!... GEEZ!... HAHAHA!... GONE!"… THUNK!... "PONYTAIL NUMBERO DOS!"… SIMON MAKES A PONYTAIL ON THE TOP OF CLOE'S HEAD, WITH THE REST OF HER HAIR!... SNIP!... SNIP!... SNIP!... "AND, HERE IT IS!... GONE!"… THUNK!... "HEAD DOWN, NOW, CLOE DARLING!"… SNIP!... SNIP!... SNIP!... CLICK!...

SIMON TURNS ON THE SHAVING MACHINE!... "LET'S MAKE YOUR HAIR SHORTER IN THE BACK, SHALL WE?!"… BUZZZZ!... BUZZZZ!... BUZZZZ!... CLICK!... "THERE, WE GO!... ALL SMOOTH AND SILKY!... HEHE!... NOW, HEAD-UP, BANGS!"… SNIP!... SNIP!... SNIP!... "MIDDLE!"… SNIP!... SNIP!... SNIP!... "LEFT SIDE!"… SNIP!... SNIP!... SNIP!... "RIGHT SIDE!"… SNIP!... SNIP!... SNIP!... "TRIMMING THE SIDEBURNS!"… SNIP!... SNIP!... SNIP!... "DONE!..." HE KISSES HER!... "AND, GORGEOUS, MIGHT I ADD!..." HE WINKS AT HER!

CLOE STANDS-UP FROM THE TOILET, AND LOOKS AT HERSELF IN THE MIRROR!... "GORGEOUS!... RIGHT!... I QUITE AGREE!... HEHEHE!... AHHHH!... ONE LAST PICTURE, NOW!... ALL 7 OF US!..." THEY SET THE SELF-TIMER, PUT THE CAMERAS ON THE SINK, AND TAKE SOME MORE GROUP PICTURES!... STAN PICKS UP THE BROOM, AND KEVIN GETS THE BAG, AND THEY CLEAN-UP ALL THE HAIR AROUND THE ROOM!... PLUS, DRAKE HAD ALREADY GONE DOWN STAIRS AND FETCHED THE VACUUMM TO GET ANY OF THE EXTRA HAIR THAT THE BROOM MISSED!... "NOW, THAT WE'RE ALL DONE, HERE!... WHO'S GONNA CALL KORA AND TELL HER WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!... HAHAHAHA!..."

"DRAAAKE!"…. THEY ALL YELL IN UNISON!...

"YES!... I'VE GOT THE PHONE!"… HE DIALS!... RING!... RING!.. RING!... CLICK!... PICK-UP!... "HELLO!... HONEYCOMB, I NEED TO TELL YOU… OH, YOU DID?!... HOW SHORT?!... PIXIECUT?!... REALLY?!... WELL, THEN!... THAT'S JUST *PERFECT!*… WHY?!... OH, BECAUSE I'M BALD!... HAHAHA!... AND, SO ARE YOUR 2 BOYS!... BUZZCUTS, ALL OF US!...LONG BLACK HAIR, ALL GONE!... IN THE GARBAGE!... WHO?!... COUSIN SIMON CAME OVER JUST IN TIME!... HE DID ALL THE WORK!... COUSIN CLOE CUT HIS HAIR, AND HE CUT HER HAIR!... IN A... YES!... A PIXIECUT!... SANDY AND SALLY CAME OVER, TOO!... PIXIECUTS! BOTH!... OMG!... IT WAS A RIDDICULOUS AMOUNT OF HAIR TO CUT-OFF!... I KNOW RIGHT!... THE 4 OF THEM ARE SO BRAVE!... CLOE EVEN CUT SIMON'S HAIR, BUZZED IT ALL OFF, TOO!... HAHAHA!... YES!... DON'T WORRY, WE CLEANING-UP ALL THE HAIRY MESS!... HAHAHA!... YES!... *PERFECT!*… ALL ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH, TODAY!... I KNOW, RIGHT!... HEHEHEHE!... WOW!... AWESOME!... SEE YOU WHEN YOU GET HOME!... LOVE YOU, TOO!... BYE BYE!... AND, BYE FROM THE 6 OTHER SHORTHARIED FAIRIES AND SPARROWMEN, HERE!... TOO!... HEHEHE!... LATER!"… CLICK!... HE HANGS-UP THE PHONE!...

"OMG!... SO, YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHERE SHE WENT, THIS MORNING!"…

"PIXIECUT!"…. THEY ALL RESPOND IN UNISON!...

"YES!... AMAZING, HUH?!... AND, HERE I WAS THINKING SHE'D GET MAD AT ME, OR SOMETHING!... HAHAHAHA!... AMAZING, EVEN!... WOOOOAW!"….

HE RUBS HIS BALD(ISH) HEAD!... THEY ALL RUN OVER, AND RUB HIS BALD(ISH) HEAD TOGETHER!... LAUGHING!... AND, HUGGING DRAKE!...

"HEY, LOOK!... THE SECOND MOVIE JUST FINISHED!... HEHEHE!" SAYS SALLY, WHO HAD TAKEN OVER FILMING DUTIES, ONCE MORE, FROM STAN WHEN HE LEFT TO CLEAN-UP THE HAIRY MESS!...

"THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA, TODAY, DRAKE!..." SAYS SIMON!

"YES!... AGREED!... GOOD TIMES!... WOOOHOOO!... FAMILY FUN, BONDING!... CUTTING-OFF EACH OTHER'S LONG BLACK HAIR!... HAHAHA!... WHO'DA THUNKET?!... HAHAHA!"….

SIMON WINKS AT HIM!... AND, THEY HUG, ONE MORE TIME!... EVERYONE JOINS THEM, FOR ANOTHER MASSIVE GROUP HUG!... ALL RUBBING EACH OTHER'S BALD(ISH), PIXIE-STYLE HEADS!...

FIN!