It is high noon at the heaven golf club as spectators witness the duel between Lük and God. Howard Cosell is the commentator for this game. "Hello, golf fans and welcome to the golfing contest of the century between the almighty lord and savior himself, God, and the sinister spawn of Satan, Lüktipher Demonson. This will surely be a grudge match for the ages." "So, "almighty one", you have a big, stinkin' paycheck ready for me when I beat your ass.", said Lük. "Not as you are ready to bow to me.", said God. "Oh dear. I'm afraid this has escalated into an all-out war.", said Jesus when being concerned about his father. A referee arrives to explain the rules, "Alright, you two. I wanna good, clean fight. No blood on golf clubs, no blood on golf balls, no lawsuits." He then shoots a gun up in the air. God hits the first ball, it hits far to the green near the hole. "Oh, what a hit for the almighty lord.", said Howard Cosell. Lük tries to aim the same pace as God. When he does, the ball is suddenly bounced to a different direction. "What the?", said Lük. He goes to find out what caused that miscalculation. When he gets there, he sees a person lying down on the ground. It is none other than... Bea. "Red?! What the hell are ya doing out here?", asked Lük. Bea opens here eye and says, "Oh, Lük. I didn't see you here. One minute I was chasing a dog who stole my donut, next thing you know, I got hit in the head and I passed out." "You shouldn't be out here, red. I'm trying to whoop God's ass in golf. Now scram." Bea replies, "Alright, but tell that dog who stole my donut I'm coming for him." Lük continues in the contest. He is able to land the ball into the hole. "And a score for the demon down under. And I'm not talking about Australia.", said Howard Cosell. After a montage of God and Lük swinging perfect shots, they end up level. Howard Cosell says, "It all comes down to this. Will God almighty himself be able to pull off this one last swing and walk out victorious?" Lük coughs and says "Choke. Choke. Choke", just to get into God's head. "This is so intense.", said Bea. "I know. Come on, father.", said Jesus. "What? No, not that. I meant I still can't believe I lost my donut to that damn dog.", said Bea. God swings the club as hard as he could. The ball was launched so high that it was launched into outer space and back heading down like a meteor. There is an explosion as everyone tries to see where it hit. Luckily for god, it landed in the hole in a unique fashion. "And God makes it. Oh, my. What are the odds of that?", said Howard Cosell. Lük prepares hit his final golf ball for the contest. But while he is doing so, Bea sees something from afar. "Wait a minute. Is that...", she said as she sees that it is the dog who stole her donut. "[gasp] it's him.", Bea said as she jumps over the line. "Beatris, wait!", said Jesus, but Bea didn't listen to him as she headed for the dog while shouting "Gimme back my donut, thief." As she is about to catch the dog, she accidentally bumps into Lük. His club hits the ball and lands on the pole, but it swings back and hits the dog. Bea goes to the dog and takes back her donut and says, "YES!". "Oh, no. The demon's ball miscalculated due to the stupidity of one angel. It looks the the almighty God is the winner.", Howard Cosell announces. "NO! NOOOOOOO! RED! You stupid bitch! What the fuck have you done?!", shouted Lük. "I finally got back my donut. Duh.", said Bea. the crowd goes to God to celebrate, including Jesus. "Well done, father.", said Jesus. "That's right. I'm the best and only golfer in this bitch. Suck it, demon, cos you'll never get rich, and most importantly, you'll golf here again! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!", said God. "What a shocking defeat for the spawn of satan. His incompetent friend costing him the biggest contest of his life. And now he has lost everything, his dignity, his reputation and his manhood.", said Howard Cosell before Lük throws a golf club at him and saying, "ALRIGHT ALREADY!". The referee says, "Hey, I said no blood."
The Angel in Horns: See ya from A-Par by WildChild25
Fiction » Humor Rated: T, English, Humor, Words: 1k+, Favs: 1, Published: 5/23/2021
Chapter 3: Lük vs God