8:11 PM, September 7, 2021

I started showering in the dark again recently

And I come out of the shower, into the dark

I wrap myself in the towel and sit on the floor

And I whisper ever-so-quietly to myself, that nobody might hear me,

And I stare off into nothing

And I hear nothing beyond myself.

..

When I wave my arms in front of my face

I realize I'm halfway to nothing already.

And in those moments I imagine what it's like to be dead

I wonder if this is the nothingness they speak of

I'm afraid of nothingness, but I suppose I'm familiar with it now, at least.

..

In those moments I think only of a more peaceful time than this:

I'm standing in a choir assembly,

Eyes closed,

Singing 'Do-di-li, va'ani...'

And I think to myself, these ten seconds are the most peaceful I've ever had

And I think to myself, those ten seconds are the most peaceful I've ever had

And I wave my arms in front of my face and I see nothing and I am nothing.

I guess it's kind of funny that she thought she was talking to a boy

And I thought she was talking to a boy

but in the end she was talking to nothing at all.

A review would be appreciated.