"Letter to the Faceless (Infinitesimal)"
I want 00: to be my everything,
but how can that be possible
when I don't even know who 00: are?
I hear myself talking to 00: when I go to bed
I pull the checkered covers over my exhausted eyes
not quite asleep, not quite awake
and I try to imagine 00; face
00; voice, smell, touch, taste
and what 00: think about
the ways and sensations that 00: feel
I grasp at straws
drowning in the violent, gushing rapids of my mind
impaled by agonizing conical rocks in the water
my demons, my failed attempts, my burnt bridges
the transparent, hueless water floods my lungs
as my hands flail about
clinging to the current
and I am clinging to the hope
that it's taking me somewhere.
I am all alone.
I am all alone
in a crowd of people
their faces colorful, diverse, and cheerful.
Perhaps they see 00:?
Or do they simply believe that 00: are there?
I search for 00: among the crowd
00: could be anywhere
00: could be everywhere.
Are 00: there? I ask,
only to hear nothing
I am talking to myself again.
A delusional, depressed, disgusting excuse of a man,
I take my daily pills
to protect myself from those invisible, conical rocks
that drill through my skull
and stab out my eyes
until I am blind
screaming from the affliction
and then I know
these pills won't protect me
so I try to look for 00: again.
I wish I could go on a journey to find 00:
that spans the entire world
from the scorching orange deserts
to the freezing white mountains
to the lush, lively green forests
to the depths of the translucent blue currents
of every ocean in the world.
But I only have so much strength,
so much time to live,
and so much love to give
that I cannot go on that journey
I know 00: have so much more for me
and that 00: would do the same for me.
So, pathetically, I come to again,
and decide to search for 00: in my hometown
and do research to try and find 00: on the Internet.
I keep fantasizing about finding 00:
and seeing 00; enchanting face.
I would elate
and wake up in the warmth of 00; arms
knowing 00: are real
and that 00: will always love me
and I would promise that I'll always love 00:
genuinely, without hesitation
I haven't found 00: yet
00: are an enigma, an impenetrable cipher
just like 00; sophisticated persona
that always keeps me guessing
and I love that.
I don't know who 00: are
but I know that 00: are real
and that you are beautiful
like every rich, exotic location on Earth
every location on Earth
and every prepossessing person on Earth
everyone on Earth
but 00: are much more lovely and arresting than any and all of them
as is implied by 00; name,
so please, arrest me
and keep me from drowning in the current.
I know that 00: are somewhere
in time and space
my time and space
and I promise I will find 00:
and when I do,
I'll love 00: like you love this perfectly imperfect man,
and stay with 00: forever,
with 00: and 00; beautiful face.
NOTES: This poem is an ambiguous love letter. I tried to utilize a concept of creating a code based around the infinity symbol (sorry if I had to improvise to translate it to a Story file here...) to help illustrate how the entity the love letter is addressed to is unknown in identity—hence why they are "faceless". It could be anyone, a man, woman, a nonhuman being, or even a god of some sort. When I follow up their name—the infinity symbol—with a colon, I'm calling them by a second person pronoun that cannot be expressed by simply saying "you," and when I follow the name up with a semicolon, I'm using a similar second person possessive pronoun that isn't quite like saying "your". As for my "name" (1/00), it is supposed to mathematically represent an infinitesimal, or the "opposite" of infinity.
Symbol key: 00 is read as "the Faceless One", 00: is read as "you", 00; is read as "your", and 1/00 is read as "insert the narrator's name".