Eternal Rest

Summary: My summer job at Deep Rest Landscaping revealed a deadly secret.

I worked at Deep Rest Landscaping last summer, a small company owned by a jovial old Italian guy. Almost immediately, I noticed something amiss. I was told to use weedwhackers, air compressors, and leaf-blowers, even when they were the wrong tool for the job. They had me cover parts of properties where that equipment was not needed at the time.

As it turned out, I was right. I was being used as a distraction, to generate noise that covered the firm's real professionals. While I and the other summer help were milling about with lawnmowers and leaf-blowers, a team of well-armed hitmen would get to work inside the house. We were the perfect cover for gunfire and screaming.

The boss, it turned out, was a Mafia don. Deep Rest Landscaping was a front company for his hired goons. However, once I found out, they brought me onboard. I meet Lupara Luigi, who loved emptying both barrels of his sawn-off shotgun into a target's face. I worked with a mute we nicknamed Bambino for his love of bashing heads with his baseball bat. Since I was a promising summer helper, I was offered a full-time job there.

As much as I try, I can't fahgetaboutit.