FAKE NEWS REPORTS!

I see Neil Young is trending.
Didn't he used to be in a band or something?

New York's Museum Of Natural History Has Canceled Teddy Roosevelt & Removed His Famous Statue From Its Entrance!
"We were going to replace it with a statue of Caitlyn Jenner," a spokesman for the museum said, "but then we found out she was a conservative."

The El Paso Times Opines That Beto O'Rourke Can Win The Texas Governorship By Swaying Young Voters Of Color!
"As a Democrat, I plan to continue the proud tradition of doing nothing for them," the lanky politician promises.

York Democratic Gov. Kathy Hochul Blames 'shot from an illegal gun' for killing of NYPD officers
But what about the criminal who pulled the trigger?
"Who?"
Yeah, that's what I thought.

New York Governor Kathy Hochul Blames "An Illegal Gun" For The Shooting Deaths Of NYPD Officers!
The gun has since been released on a no-cash bail.

THIS JUST IN:
U.S. Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer Is RETIRING!
"Yep, I'm going from being paid to go to work and do nothing to being paid to stay at home and do nothing."

The MARS Candy Company Is Updating Its M&M's Candy Characters To Reflects These Woke Times We Are Living In!
Even the yellow one?
"No, he'll still be the stupid white guy."

Game Of Thrones' Peter Dinklage Criticizes Disney For Their Live-Action Remake Of The 19th Century Classic Snow White!
"The Brothers Grimm couldn't write their way out of a paper bag," the diminutive in spirit actor says.

CNN's Brian Stelter Visits An Eighth Grade Classroom For A Class On "Media Misinformation" And Is Surprised When The Teacher Points To Him As An Example!

The Telegraph Wonders Why The Chinese Government Had To Go And Change The Ending To The Classic Movie Fight Club!
"Because we're CHINA," an exasperated Xi Jinping explains. "It's what we DO."

Game Of Thrones' Peter Dinklage Criticizes Disney For Their Live-Action Remake Of The Brothers Grimm 19th Century Classic Snow White!
"You can listen to me because I'M Peter Dinklage!"

Jim Duchene

Fake News Chief Correspondent

read my RaisingDad humor column for caregivers at

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