Fake News Reports!

It's not the bending over, it's the getting back up.

I'm too young to be so old.

My ex-wife likes to go without a bra.

It pulls the wrinkles out of her face.

BREAKING NEWS:

Pete Davidson LEAVING Saturday Night Live!

…and he was never heard from again.

THIS JUST IN:

Pete Davidson Is LEAVING Saturday Night Live!

"Pete who?"

Exactly.

Two things can be bad at the same time.

One thing being bad doesn't absolve the other.

Life begins at the first cocktail.

Like a rubber band, karma only stretches so far before it snaps back and stings you in the face.

Why is it that people who purposely offend always begin or end with "No offense"?

Jim Duchene

Fake News Chief Correspondent

read my RaisingDad humor column for caregivers at Desert Exposure Magazine

desertexposure dot com

at JimDuchene