Fake News Reports!

Pfizer Denies CEO Albert Bourla's Wife Myriam Has "Died From Complications Of The COVID-19 Vaccine"!

"She's perfectly fine," a spokesperson for the pharmaceutical company said, "and is simply visiting Scientology leader David Miscavige's wife, Shelly."

On Christmas Day, Los Angeles' Iconic Staples Center Will Change Their Name To The Crypto Arena!

In an interesting coincidence, the original name of the iconic gospel group The Staple Singers was The Crypto Singers.

WTA Expresses Concern Over Missing Chinese Tennis Player Peng Shuai, Who Many Fear Has Come To Harm Via Her Communist Government!

"Mind your own business," advises NBA superstar LeBron James. "China knows what it's doing."

What Does The National Organization of Women (NOW) Have To Say About Missing Chinese Player Peng Shuai, Who Was Raped By A Chinese Official And Then "Disappeared" When She Reported It?

"Did China keep her from having an abortion?"

No.

"Then we're not interested."

THIS JUST IN:

Kyle Rittenhouse Found GUILTY!

…of murdering Prosecutor Binger's career.

THIS JUST IN:

Kyle Rittenhouse Found NOT GUILTY!

"Remember, I'm on YOUR side," whimpers defeated lead prosecutor Thomas Binger to the angry mob outside.

Black Lives Matter Congratulates Kyle Rittenhouse—Now A Free Man—On Being Found NOT GUILTY!

"You go kill all the white people you want."

HISTORY HAS BEEN MADE:

Congratulations to Kamala Harris, who officially became our first Woman / Woman of Color President of the United States of America!

HISTORY HAS BEEN MADE:

Racism & Sexism was eradicated today and forever in the United States as Kamala Harris officially became America's first Woman / Woman of Color President!

Jim Duchene

Fake News Chief Correspondent

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