Originally written June 9, 2021
Written by bR0k3N

Self Reflection Pt.3

Not even thirty
But I'm forever hurting
Knew I was worthless
~Fifteen years ago~
I started downward
Down like this
I've been lost
This was nothing new
Started my scarring
before I ever grew
I ran to you
But that was the wrong,
wrong thing to do
You are a hyphenate
a mirror, a multiple
never the singular
Mother-cutting-smoking
My impediment,
I'm not growing,
Shrinking, I'm smaller
than my stature
that's never been tall.
Fifteen years later
my Depression is greater
One day
I won't see you later
At one time,
I asked why,
why won't I fall dead
Suicide is all I've left
I'll be thirty,
eleven years longer
and that screams
IRONY
As eleven is the age
Is the age I first saw
DEATH
Visions I'd be dead at 21
Since before then
None of it ever made sense
Still searching a point
But life has been
Been a self fulfilling prophecy
Not even thirty
My life has left me
But I'm forever hurting
Not even death will free me.