1Another one that really should be two chapters.
The soft, wet ground squelched as the truck slowly pulled up to the small house between the trees. Kat didn't know what time it was, but the sun had only just begun to peak its rays through the forest, and her small wooden cabin was backlit by a soft glow.
Jamie turned the key and the engine fell silent, adding to the stillness that had grown between them. He cleared his throat, and without looking over at Kat in the passenger's seat, said, "So," letting the word trail off on its own.
Kat gave a small nod, her gaze fixed on a point in the distance, between the bright green but wet leaves and branches swaying in the leftover wind. "So," she repeated softly.
Jamie's fingers began tapping on his steering wheel as he bit his lip. "I mean," he started but then had no idea how to finish so once again, his lips closed shut.
Kat cleared her throat. She was wearing Jamie's hoodie from the gym bag, her bare knees rubbed together nervously as she tried to think of something to say. Her clothes were in a wet heap on the floor behind her seat. She hadn't touched it since they had pulled them off. She wasn't even sure what had happened, it was all a bit hazy, and foggy memories clouded her mind. They had spent the rest of the night in that backseat. Not sleeping. She couldn't even count the number of positions they had twisted themselves into, but she was embarrassed by the way she had begged and pleaded and cried out his name most of the night.
"So, uhm…" Jamie tried again, then his shoulders slumped when he gave up a third time.
"Yeah," Kat agreed, knowing exactly how he felt as she sat there beside him in the thick silence. She knew she should get up and leave, go inside the house he had driven her to.
"So, you're quite… bendy," he said, immediately followed by a quiet groan of regret. That was not what he had intended to say, not that he had any idea of what he had been trying to get out in the first place.
"Yes," Kat breathed. "You're- You're missing a few toes?" she added, her voice cracking, "That's… new."
"Work accident," he quickly stated.
"Ah."
"Yeah…"
She wanted to sink into the seat and disappear. She wanted to scream out and run away. But she was frozen in place. The silence returned between them.
Until Jamie groaned and his head fell back to rest on his seat. "Right, ok, so obviously that was not supposed to happen," he said.
"It certainly was not," Kat agreed instantly, a shaky breath escaping her and she relaxed into her seat. "What the hell were you doing out there anyway?"
"Trying to avoid you," he confessed with a shrug.
"Wow, good job," Kat quipped, "Fuck, that was a massive mistake. Of epic proportions."
"Which time?" he asked.
She could hear the smirk in his voice, and it grated on her already shot nerves. "All of the times. But especially the first… few." Now she definitely wanted the ground to swallow her whole. This was too much. And then she heard his dark chuckle, something that made her bristle even more. "I'm glad you're enjoying yourself,' she snapped, finally turning her head towards him. He was already looking at her, his head still resting on the seat, his lips curled into an amused smile she didn't appreciate.
"I did last night. Several times," he drawled lazily.
Kat could feel the blush creeping up her cheeks. "This might be fun for you, Morgan, but this was a fucking disaster. Last night was an awful, horrendous lapse of my judgment! I can't believe that fucking happened," she cried, attempting to run her hand through her hair but she had piled it on top of her head and strands fell around her face as she disturbed it.
"Hey, I'm not exactly fucking thrilled either," Jamie shot back. "Whatever the fuck that was-" He gestured to the backseat. "-Was not part of my plan for the summer. You were not supposed to be a part of my summer. I wasn't supposed to walk around angry and frustrated because of you. Look, I was set: no work, Silver Moon to play at, and loads of glorious free time to enjoy. Instead, instead," he stressed, pointing an accusing finger at her, "I get Silverstreams in my fucking house and you, you! Everywhere, walking around making my life miserable. I can't seem to fucking stop running into you." He rubbed his tired face with a groan. "Obviously there's this…" He gestured wildly again, but this time between the two of them.
'Thing," Kat supplied, with a knowing nod.
"Thing," he repeated, "There's a thing here, between us for some reason."
"Nostalgia," Kat said, "Or something else stupid."
"And, you know, darkness, it was dark." Jamie searched his mind, forcing it to rationalize.
"And the rain was pouring?" Kat suggested, "Creating sort of a bubble around us."
"Yeah, it's just old memories flaring up and shit," Jamie agreed. "It doesn't mean anything."
"No one else can know about this."
"Hell no," he ground out, hands tightening around the wheel.
Kat swallowed, her fingers tapping on her thighs absentmindedly as her gaze again fixed on the distance. "Even if it was kind of…" Her voice failed her. She couldn't say it.
"Good," Jamie coughed out, his voice strained, like gravel.
Her shoulders slumped. "Good," she repeated, the word felt like lead on her tongue, but she couldn't stop, "It was- it was good." It had been good, it had been more than good. But good would suffice. Admitting even that much was hard. She jerked upright in the seat, glaring at him. "I still don't like you."
"I don't like you," he snorted.
"I think I still hate you."
"I still hate you."
"But…"
"That was-"
"Kind of-"
"…Good," he finished with a sigh.
Kat crossed her arms in front of her, leaning over them as if trying to gather herself. "A mistake," she said sharply.
"A big ass mistake," he agreed readily.
"We'll just… forget about it," she said, throwing her hands in the air, exasperated about the whole experience. She hadn't slept enough for this kind of conversation, she hadn't slept at all, and a headache was starting to spread behind her eyes.
"We are going to pretend it never happened." Jamie felt the weight fall off his shoulders. That was the answer. They could just pretend it never happened. Because it hadn't happened, not really. "It's not like we haven't slept together before. This was just a… slip-up, I think."
"A mistake," she growled out. "And no one else can fucking know. You cannot tell anyone, not even your fucking brother."
"Oh, trust me," Jamie said with a chuckle, "I'd hardly go bragging. Fuck's sake, Kitty Kat, I'd be a laughingstock."
"You? What about me?"
He snorted at her. "What? You have friends?"
Her headache was thundering now. And he was laughing at her. "Fuck off, shithead," she growled and unclipped her seatbelt before she slammed open the door and bolted. Her bare feet sunk into the muddy ground, but she didn't stop. Not until he called out after her.
"Kat!"
When she turned back, his arm was hanging out the window of the truck, waving a black bra at her. His face, though almost concealed in the shadows of the truck, was smirking widely at her, spitefully, eyes dancing with laughter. At her.
She stomped back, the ground squelching under her feet with every hard step, and snatched it out of his hand. "Not a fucking word," she ground out. Opening the back door she scooped up her wet pile of clothes and slammed the door shut. This time she stomped off without looking back at him.
He sat back in the seat, watching her go. Wobbling in the mud, but still determined to march. Her hair was piled high on her head, no longer wet, a few strands moved in the breeze and seemed to tickle her long neck. His hoodie was big on her, but just coming to the top of her thighs, her legs were bare, colorful tattoos up and down her left one. He knew she had wolves on her left arm, nestled in a dark forest under a full moon. A bit on the nose, he decided. But here all he could see were dragons, many of them.
Admittedly, they were rather shapely legs. Going all the way up to the rather shapely backside. A backside he had kneaded and molded to his body as he took her. Again and again. He swallowed before clearing his throat. Tried to force himself to stop ogling the hypnotizing sway of the hips that moved away from him. But he couldn't help it, his eyes traveled back on their own.
She stopped moving, and Jamie only then realized she had made it to her front door. She looked back at him, meeting his eyes. He couldn't read her expression, but he could tell she was contemplating something, chewing on the inside of her cheek as her gaze burrowed into his own. He couldn't look away, nor blink. This would be a bad time to attempt a smile.
Stepping back, she closed the door after her. And he sat back, watching the heavy front door for a few more seconds. He cleared his throat and shook his head free of any lingering hypnotization. Huffing out a small, strangled laugh that quickly died, he groaned. He sat for a little while longer, drumming on the wheel, unable to force his thoughts into any rational, coherent state. They wouldn't comply.
This really wasn't supposed to have happened. It was such a fucked up mistake. No, he definitely wouldn't tell anyone about this. He was good at keeping secrets, especially secrets involving Kat. A small smile played on his lips as his drumming intensified. Then he turned his key, the truck spluttered to life and he drove off.
Kat's wet clothes had been dumped by her feet as soon as she entered. Some of them piled onto her toes as she stood there, leaning her forehead against the front door, listening to him leave. Confusion swarmed in her head, but most of all shock. She must be in shock because she found it impossible to move from her position against the door.
What the actual fuck happened last night?
And then an even more horrible thought struck her. Her glass!
She tore open the door and stormed out, but Jamie had already driven away.
"Fuck!" she yelled at the sky.
The sun had crawled up over the roof of their house, blinding Jamie as he parked outside. The town was bathed in the golden hues of early morning, but it hadn't woken up just yet. Something Jamie was exceptionally happy about as he didn't want to see or hear a single soul right at that moment. He dragged himself inside the house, glad that even the Silverstream kids hadn't woken yet, and shuffled to the spare bedroom, across the living room, instead of moving up the stairs to his own.
The room was dark. Josh was on his back, snoring, when Jamie walked in, but he climbed in anyway, pushing his brother over and wiggling down beside him. Josh snorted and spluttered when he found himself pressed against the wall and a rather large body taking up more than half the space on the mattress.
"Jamie?" he grunted, opening only one eye to glare at his brother. "What the fuck are you doing here?"
Jamie lifted his head to look at him, and said, with as much of a shrug as he could give lying down, "I don't know, man." He didn't. He just didn't want to be alone just then. He had had a hell of a night and for some reason what he needed was company. Even if the bedroom he had stalked into was his brother's. He should have opened a window or something, the smell of sweat and sleep permeated the room, but his body was too tired to move. He yawned and his head rolled back down onto the pillow he had stolen from Josh. "I'll get up in a second, I just need…" he trailed off, not knowing what he needed just then.
"Are you ok?" Josh asked, lifting himself onto his elbow. "Where have you been all night? I was worried sick, dude. You didn't answer your fucking phone." Rubbing his face he sighed heavily. "Especially after how you acted last night."
"Don't worry about it," Jamie insisted when another yawn pressed on, he waved away his brother's concerns with a slack wrist. "I'm a big wolf, I can handle myself."
"I called Lisa," Josh continued undeterred, "But she hadn't seen you either."
"I wasn't with her," Jamie mumbled, his eyes falling shut. "I was just, out, driving around. Nothing special." The words fell thickly from his lips, and he gave a small chuckle at them. Nothing special? Just Kat. On the backseat. He wanted to tell, but Josh wouldn't believe him anyway. No, no one could know.
"Idiot," Josh breathed. "Just what the hell have you been up to all night?" he asked, but Jamie had fallen asleep. Josh laughed and patted his brother's chest. "Idiot," he said again, but this time softer, then he wiggled back down and tried to get comfortable. Jamie hadn't crawled into his bed since their early teenage years, back then they had fought for space, and now they were twice as tall and wide. But he just covered Jamie with what blanket he could spare and chuckled again as he closed his eyes and tried to get back to sleep. As uncomfortable as it was having his twin brother take up most of the space, he knew when Jamie needed it.
Jamie was still sleeping in his room, snoring loudly, when Josh pulled himself out of bed hours later. He could hear the kids laughing in the living room, and when he walked out, he was not at all surprised to see them playing with Cassie on the floor. She was laughing as well and Josh couldn't stop himself from standing back, just watching the scene unfold before him, his hands in the pockets of his pajama pants and leaning on the doorframe.
When Gabe finally noticed him standing there, he gave them a wave. "Good morning," he said, his voice groggy. Both kids jumped up, and a barrage of words was thrown at him, half he couldn't understand, but they were both eager to tell him of various things they had been playing. Josh tried to pay attention, he really did, but the little tykes were barely making sense and he hadn't even had a coffee yet.
Besides, what he wanted was to see Cassie. He smiled widely at her, trying his best to put on his most charming face. Even if he still bore the signs of sleep. "Good morning," he said, trying to meet her eye.
But Cassie stood from the floor, dusted off her clothes, and didn't meet his eye at all when she uttered a small, "Good morning, Josh."
He was a little taken aback by her rather clipped words. That was a very different Cassie than the one he had talked to last night. Had they not laughed together? They had sat at the table and had, at least to him, moved into a friendlier territory than usual. It had been as if they had connected. And it excited him more than it should have perhaps. Clearly, it didn't excite her as she was too busy looking anywhere but at him. "You ok?" he asked her. Surely they had shared a moment last night. Something had been there, he was sure of it.
"Yes, I'm fine," she said quickly. "Mina, Gabe, could you go wash your hands? Lunch is ready, babies." With a hand on their backs, she guided them to the kitchen.
"Lunch?" Josh mumbled. How long had he slept? "Wait, Cassie," he called when she too turned and started walking away. He reached for her, trying to stop her but she flinched when he came near, shuffling back. "Sorry, I forgot, no touching," he said, holding up his hands in apology, shooting her a crooked smile, hoping for a smile, or at least some kind of acknowledgment. But she merely straightened, folding her arms across her chest. "Can we talk? About what happened last night?"
"Nothing happened last night," she whispered.
"Something happened, you almost took off my head," he said with a laugh, hoping she would laugh too, or just a smile, anything.
Her wide eyes finally met his. "I'm sorry about that."
"And it's alright, but-"
"I need to go," she said, interrupting him. "They'll start fighting in a couple of seconds."
On cue, Mina started yelling. And then Gabe did. Then they both called out for her urgently, each of them shouting things the other had supposedly done to them. She didn't know what exactly they were yelling, but she did need to go get them to stop. She gave Josh a forced smile, not fully able to commit, and walked to the kitchen, leaving him there just staring after her. She hadn't lied to him, she really should go deal with the kids, but part of her was insanely glad for the distraction. She couldn't talk to him, not after last night. Not when he had so effortlessly been able to push through her walls and confuse her with talk about nothing and everything. There had been a moment between them, a strange connection she hadn't expected. And it scared her. Last night they had, for the briefest of moments, not been a Northcreek and a Silverstream, they had merely been Josh and Cassie, two normal wolves meeting, talking like friends. It was confusing because she didn't know how to feel about it.
She really couldn't talk to him now, especially when he stood there, bedhead and a charming grin, pajama pants hanging low on his waist, and no shirt on whatsoever. The dusting of freckles on his shoulders only broadened them, and his very naked chest had been rising and falling with every deep breath, every angle and hard pane, the narrow waist, the all too easy stance he had. She ignored the blush she knew had crept up on her cheeks and glowered at the kids as she stepped towards them. "Alright, both of you stop," she growled. "What on earth is going on?"
"She said-"
"Gabe made me-"
The noises of the kitchen all blended into each other in Josh's ears as he stood back, watching Cassie disappear through the doorway. "Yeah, well, I have to go see someone anyway," he said to her, not that she could hear. Something had shifted last night. He was sure of it, something had changed, and it had been good, it had been nice. But she was acting as if last night's conversation hadn't brought them closer but further apart. And that left him in a very grumpy mood.
He didn't even bother to make the coffee he so desperately wanted or breakfast of any kind. He wouldn't go into the kitchen to see her. Not when she was so desperate to not see him. Instead, he dressed quickly and left the house. He grabbed a coffee and two breakfast burritos at the café, then stuffed them down furiously as he walked to the large, looming building at the end of the street. The Alpha's house. He walked straight up onto the porch and knocked on the door.
Not a sound was heard from inside, not even a scuffle. Alpha Winter never locked his doors, wolves in this town rarely did, but the door was ajar, so Josh poked his head in. "Hello?" he called out. Nothing. Shrugging, he stepped inside. "Hello-o?" he called out again.
The Alpha's house was always a flurry of activity. Wolves came and went constantly, not only the ones from this pack. But there was only quiet and stillness greeting him inside. That and the smell of fresh coffee from the kitchen. Someone must be there.
He walked down the hallway to Alpha Winter's office, maybe he would catch the Omega scuttling around with some paperwork in there, or her own office across the hall from his. The Omega's office was new. The whole wing of the house, which now contained the thousands of old, dusty books making up the Northcreek history Archives, was new. Jamie and he had built the extension just last year after Silverstreams had ransacked the old Archives, leaving it in a sorry state that gave the twins three months of hard work trying to restore the old building. Alpha Winter decided the new Archives would then be an extension to the Alpha's house. It had made sense, the Alpha and his mate were empty nesters, their five girls all grown and moved out. They had the space for it.
The sound of scraping chairs and grunting voices from the Alpha's office drew his attention. Finally, wolves. He was about to knock on the door when a hand stopped him, pulling him from the door.
"What are you doing here?" Omega Mallard whispered harshly to him. "You can't just waltz into Alpha Winter's office. He's in a meeting with Alpha Owen from the Fernhill pack," she stressed, her cheeks flushed red as she hissed at him and continued to pull his big frame from the door. "You know you need an appointment to see Alpha Winter, Josh," she continued to chastise him as she pushed him into her own office and closed the door after her.
"I'm not here to see Alpha Winter, I'm here to see you," Josh finally said when he could get a word in.
"Me?" she asked, straightening at her desk, and pushing her glasses up. "Well, how can I help you?"
He grumbled a little, scratching his neck and shuffling his feet. He really didn't want to do this, but he had made a promise. "Cassie wants to contact Clearwater Pack. She'd like to petition them."
"The Clearwater pack? That's Michael's pack," she said, blinking behind her large round glasses, her nose wiggled in confusion. "Does she know them?"
"She knows someone there, a Sus- no, a Sa…" he struggled to remember the name, his mouth a deep frown when Bella interrupted him by lifting a finger in the air and wiggling her nose as if she remembered something.
"Yes," she said, sitting down at her desk and opening up her laptop, clicking away at files. "Sienna Peters," she announced. "She's an enforcer at the Clearwater pack, very well-liked there. Michael- Alpha Donovan I mean, speaks very highly of her."
"That could be the one," Josh mumbled. He picked up a dusty old tome from a side table and turned it around, trying to decipher the writing on the spine.
Bella quickly jumped up and gently took the book back from him with a tight smile before putting it back down carefully. "I suppose they do come from the same pack," she continued, "Any relation? A friend perhaps?"
"Apparently not," Josh said with a sigh and a shrug. His attention was grabbed by another book, lying open on her desk. The pages were worn and miscolored but the old drawings in black ink were sharp and the wolves on the page were clearly mid-transformation. "Ah cool," he exclaimed picking up the book, trying to turn the page to see more but Bella had snatched it back from him and put it back down gingerly while she held her breath.
"Please Josh, these are very old," she begged of him.
He held up his hands in apology with a grin. "Sorry."
"Why does she want to go to Clearwater if they are not friends?"
"Fuck if I know," he growled out, a little more tightly than he intended. "I don't get shit out of her even when I ask her," he admitted with an annoyed sigh. He ran a hand through his loose hair, pushing it out of his face. It was annoying, everything about Cassie was annoying. She never gave him any straight answers to his questions, she never said anything about her intentions or what she was thinking, and her pretty little self was just walking around his house as if that wasn't supposed to affect him at all. And the most irritating thing of all was that it did affect him. Because for some reason he didn't want her to go to Clearwater. He knew she couldn't stay, he knew that, but he didn't want her to go either. It was all frustratingly annoying.
Omega Mallard watched him, her head cocked to the side as she studied the myriad of emotions flashing over his face. "It can't be easy," she said and gave him a sympathetic pat on the arm. "Do you want me to ask Alpha Winter if he can find accommodation for the Silverstreams elsewhere?"
"No," he said almost too quickly. "Nah, it's alright. I don't mind too much."
"Ah," she said with a nod, even if she didn't fully believe him. "Well, I will contact Alpha Donovan and see what he says."
"Thank you," Josh pressed out. Bella smiled up at him and gave him a confirming nod. "That's all I came for," he said and turned to leave when his attention was grabbed by another thing. "Hey, look at that," he exclaimed as he found a book on the table in front of her, the cover so worn it looked ready to crumble to dusk with a touch. He reached for it eagerly. The Omega inhaled so sharply that he thought she would implode and scrambled to reach him. He stopped with a grin, holding up his hands. "I'm joking, I'm joking," he laughed out.
Bella groaned and swatted his arm. "You're just as frustrating as Max, and that's saying something."
He laughed at that and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Thank you for your help, Omega," he said, baring his throat to her as a sign of respect for a higher-ranked wolf, but then swooped down and kissed her on the cheek before he walked out the door. "Say hi to Max for me," he called to her as he made his escape down the hallway and out of the front door.
His grin faded once he sat foot outside, the bright sunlight burning it away. He already knew he couldn't keep them, so why was he so annoyed that Cassie found a potential place to escape to? He snorted at himself as he stomped down the steps, hitting the pavement with all his unresolved fury. He buried his hands in his pockets and continued onwards down the street, a deep scowl on his face that made others on the same street refrain from calling out greetings as he passed.
He had to do something. He needed to run. Setting into a jog he rushed back to his house, but instead of entering through the front door, he jumped to all fours in the driveway. Leaving his clothes in a jumble on the stones as his paws pounded the pavement until he felt the ground beneath him and the trees surrounding him. He could taste the crisp day on his tongue and he let it roll out of his mouth, panting. Tearing through bushes and branches and plant growth, he felt the underground's dirt and wonderfully scented earth soothe his mind full of warring thoughts.
This was calm, this was exactly what he needed to clear his head.
The forest around him shimmered in the bright sunlight, thickening the further he ran. Remnants of last night's storm made the undergrowth squish and squelch as his large paws thundered through bushes and tore through plants. His fur was damp from puddles and wet leaves that slapped him in the face. But he kept running. This was wonderful. His body shook out the fur, his ears slapping around him, his bushy tail snagging on thorns and twigs. He stretched and felt the earth between his toes as well as the thrum of the forest around him. Birds tweeted, insects buzzed, all a cacophony of sounds and feelings that were only available to him in his wolf form. Glorious.
He set off, bursting into a clearing, and grinned at the sun. He pounced on unsuspecting critters and snorted his amusement as they scurried away. He wished Jamie was here, he wanted to run and play. Maybe a race or two. The experience of the forest made him feel good enough to beat his brother today maybe even. Throwing himself off a hill, his body rolling down into the muddy grass. He didn't care, he'd shower when he got home.
Home. His paws skidded in the grass, throwing him to a halt. He growled and snapped at the air. Cassie was at home. But that's not where she wanted to be. And then his mood soured again. Damn it all. He was running to clear his mind, not brood over a Silverstream. What was he supposed to do now? Just take a step back and watch her go? She was a fucking Silverstream, he should want to see her go. It shouldn't make him sad.
His wolf groaned loudly. Sad. He was sad to see her go. What a stupid word, sad. Sad was for children, not for Josh Morgan, he was a Morgan, for fuck's sake! He didn't feel sad he felt… defeated? Deprived of something he couldn't put his finger on. He felt some sort of way, any way, but he decided with a snort that he refused to dwell on it. He'd let her go and that would be the end of it. He'd return to normal without a fucking Silverstream in his house and maybe he'd actually want to take Jenny up on her offer, or Mel.
He set off again, pushing himself to run faster and faster. He could run to the mountains, or the flower fields. No, the lake. The shimmering wonder of a lake. He charged, intent on spending every last cell of energy in his wolf body. Until he was too tired to even think. To think about her. He'd spend the day in the woods, he decided. Jamie would wonder about him, but he wouldn't worry. He'd left his clothes in the driveway, he'd know where he was.
"Aaaand The End," Cassie announced in a whispered breath, adding, "Finally." She gently stroked Gabe's forehead, pushing a stubborn curl away from his face. He always fell asleep mid-story, the trick was to make them as boring as possible, make them too exciting and he'd be jumping around the bed yelling for more. Mina found it harder to get to sleep, she enjoyed the slow stories, snuggled into her duvet, small eyes hanging on to every word. Especially if a princess was falling in love with a prince. Cassie didn't like telling her those kinds of stories, she didn't want to give her expectations of white knights who rode around rescuing women. Romance and happily ever after? Not in Cassie's experience. And she wouldn't give Mina that hope. Better she understood the world as it was.
Mina sighed peacefully and her eyes were pressed shut. She had drifted off to sleep easily today, curled up next to Gabe in a bed that made them look even smaller than they were. Cassie bent down and kissed them both, one after the other, and stepped back.
The room was dark, the moon was up once more, casting an ethereal light through the sheet covering the window. It was too threadbare to keep it out. Cassie stepped around the room, not knowing what else to do than pace.
She hadn't seen Josh since he stormed off. She didn't know what she would do if she did. Last night had been strange. He had called her beautiful. She lifted her hand and placed it on her cheek, it was warm, and she knew it had been those words that affected her so. And she had hurt his head, by accident of course but still. And he did what? He laughed. Cassie didn't know what to make of that, she had no idea how to handle this. He was kind to her children and to her. He was nice and warm and…
She cleared her throat. No, she should not be standing in a room where her children were sleeping thinking about a Northcreek and- and- and his body heat at all.
The front door downstairs opened, and she turned towards the bedroom door expectantly. Listening. It closed again slowly, almost as if trying not to make a noise, and all too familiar footsteps shuffled inside. Either Josh or Jamie, she recognized their gait, they both moved with a strange unguarded, heavy foot.
She moved to the door, listening to the shuffling in the living room, trying to pick up on any signs as to which one it might be. Not that she was hoping for one or the other, she told herself. She didn't care at all. Even if it was Josh. Didn't care at all.
He was trying not to make too much noise. It was late and he knew the kids would be sleeping. Cassie might be as well. Josh hoped she was, he didn't know what he would do if she was still up. He felt like a coward but that couldn't be helped. His head wasn't screwed on completely straight.
He found the pile of clothes Jamie had left over the armchair. The clothes he had dumped in the driveway. Mentally thanking his brother, he zipped up his jeans and pulled the t-shirt over his head. He should message him, Jamie would probably be at the bar now. Maybe he should join him. But he found he wasn't in the mood.
The house was quiet. The living room was neat, the Silverstreams must have tidied up the toys. That would have been Cassie, he couldn't remember the two little pups ever putting things away after themselves. No matter how much Cassie growled at them to. It made him chuckle, a rough sound in his throat. He would miss that. He had never really warmed up to kids before, not at all. But those two? He grinned.
He made his way to the couch, intent on watching something mindless and stupid, but he passed the piano on the way and it made him stop. He tapped his fingers on the wood and lifted the fallboard to expose the keys he hadn't seen in so long. He pressed one and a clear tone rang out in the silent room. His fingers itched to push down again, and he did.
He breathed deeply and gave in, sitting down at the piano and letting his fingers slide down the ivory. He was rusty, but it all came back to him. Luckily the piano was still tuned, he hadn't expected that. He hadn't expected his fingers to still know exactly what to do either, but they had a life of their own. A soothing, slow melody came out of the piano, and he sat back on the bench, relaxing into it.
Until he stopped. A harsh clang sounded as his hand slammed against the keys in surprise. He hadn't seen her come out until she stepped forward, standing on top of the stairs, gripping the banister, watching him curiously. He exhaled sharply, meeting her eyes, feeling suddenly embarrassed.
"I'm sorry," he croaked out, then cleared his throat. "Did I wake you?"
"No," Cassie breathed. Her fingers flexed on the rough wooden railing, and she quickly pushed them behind herself.
"I'll stop."
"No, don't," she pressed out, surprising not only him but herself as well. "It was nice. I didn't know you could play." She took a tentative step down the stairs. "I saw the piano, but I never imagined you could-" she stopped herself, biting down on her lip before she almost insulted him. "I didn't mean-"
He cut her off with a chuckle and gave a wry, "Wow. Thanks."
She swallowed a grin and walked the rest of the way down the stairs, slowly approaching him. He watched her walk towards him, his fingers poised on the keys but didn't dare move a muscle. She was wearing a simple T-shirt and one of Omega Mallard's long, ugly skirts that swished against her legs with every step. On Cassie, it looked like the finest couture, the way it hugged her curves that swayed gently with every slow, hesitant step. He was impressed with himself for knowing the word 'couture', but the thought disappeared when he noticed her bare feet poking out from behind the layers of fabric. That small peek of toes was somehow erotic and he had to look away.
"How long have you been playing?" she asked, her voice almost a whisper. Avoiding his gaze, she tucked a lock of curly hair behind her ear.
"Since childhood," he said with a heavy sigh. He began pushing a few keys at random, the ringing of the chords echoing between them. "It was my mother's piano," he continued. "I never heard her play, but Dad says she was pretty good. I messed around with it when I was little. I think I just liked hearing the noises it made, the different keys, and the little tunes you could make. I taught myself back then, and I had lessons in high school. I actually thought of doing something with it, going professional." He played a gentle scale as he paused. He then stopped completely and removed his hands, sitting back with them in his lap instead.
"Really?" Cassie asked. This surprised her, he had never looked or felt like the type.
"I've never been good enough for that," he confessed, "Besides, interests change, I grew up." He thought for a moment, chewing on the inside of his cheek. "I discovered girls," he confessed with a small laugh. "And other fun activities. And my piano lessons were forgotten."
"I see," she mumbled. Yes, that sounded a lot more like the Josh she had gotten to know.
"Want to tell me why you've been avoiding me?" he asked, frowning as he pushed his hair out of his face.
Cassie's mouth twisted into a sad smile. "You're the one who has been gone all day," she countered.
"Well, yes," he admitted. Yes, he had. Because he had been avoiding her as well. "But only after you made it very clear you didn't want me around."
She gave a nod. "I'm sorry," was all she could offer, she couldn't explain it to him, she couldn't make him understand. Because she didn't understand herself. She knew the more she talked to this wolf, the more time she spent with him, the more he would burrow under her skin. The more she enjoyed being with him. And this couldn't happen, this Northcreek wolf couldn't do this to her. Not when she was on the verge of getting her freedom.
He slid down the seat, patting the worn upholstery next to him. "Come, sit."
Her brow furrowed, her lips pressed together in a thin line as she mentally debated if she should or not.
"You don't still think I bite, do you?" he mumbled as he turned his gaze away and his fingers once again found the keys. A simple little tune emerged in the stillness. And Cassie sat down next to him.
"You play well," she breathed, her posture stiff. She had made a mistake, he was too close now. But his attention was on the white, shiny keys in front of him, so she didn't move. "It's really lovely."
"It's nothing," he said. But then he began in earnest. His fingers brushed against the ivory, the music grew in intensity, and he played, he really played. A melody that rose and fell in waves, like the slow build of a waterfall. A favorite composition of his. He glanced at her, out of the corner of his eyes, and he saw the look of pleasure on her face. His pride swelled in his chest. He was showing off and he knew it. But he had to.
"That's some talent you have," she said. The music had evolved, a languid, steady river instead of the roaring waterfall. And Josh's fingers moved in slow, precise, almost teasing strokes in front of her. She watched his hands, their every movement. Big, hard hands, but such delicate and gentle touches. Her cheeks began to feel warm.
"Please don't tell anyone."
"Ah, I see," she said, a smile on her lips, "A hidden talent?"
"It's not exactly something I want the guys to know. Jamie already does, of course, it's hard to keep secrets from your brother." Although one secret he did keep, annoying as it was.
"Does he play as well?" She was more comfortable now, relaxing into the melody, her stiffness forgotten.
Josh chuckled and shook his head. "No." He looked at her, bending his head nearer to whisper. "Jamie's talent is cooking, he loves it, and he's damn good too. But please don't tell him I said that."
"I promise," she said with a small laugh. He smiled at her in response, his green eyes flashing with mischief again before returning his attention to tickling the keys and Cassie found herself having to swallow. Her cheeks were growing warmer, she resisted the urge to clamp her hands to them, sure they were reddening. What was the matter with her? He was too close, that was what was wrong. Too close, and such a handsome young wolf. Someone who had been incredibly nice to her. Letting her stay here, encroaching on his territory, practically stolen his home, just because he had been nice enough to shelter a wolf who needed help. A wolf from a rival pack that he didn't even know. Cassie's smile disappeared slowly. "Josh?"
"Yeah?"
"I don't think I properly thanked you."
"For what?"
"For what you did. When we met in the forest." She choked back a sob, trying hard not to revisit the feelings she had felt back then. Hopelessness. Panic. She shook her head free of the memories. "I never even thanked you, I never expressed exactly how much it meant to me that someone like you would help. Even when you knew what I was."
"I did," he agreed reluctantly, groaning at her words he tried shrugging them off. "Seriously, you don't have to worry about it, like I said, it was just the right thing to do. What else was I going to do? Let Silverstreams hunt you down? Anyone would have picked you up." He glanced at her quickly but didn't meet her eyes. She looked frail again, her shoulders slumped and her hands wringing in her lap. She hadn't had that look since he took her in and he didn't like seeing it on her again. "Any Northcreek would have picked you up, anyway," he added, his words a mumble.
"Why did you do it?" she asked softly.
"Like I said, the right thing to do," he said, lips tight, desperate to get out of this conversation.
"I still don't understand why," she continued regardless, "No one's moral compass guides them all the time, sometimes it's just easier to turn a blind eye. You could have been killed, Josh. Why on earth did you decide to take on a handful of Silverstream's best hunters? It makes no sense. You knew you could have potentially started a pack war. The implications of what you did was-"
"I saw the kids, alright," Josh blurted out. "I saw those two little exhausted things, and they were scared and dirty and…" he trailed off. He lifted his hands off the keys and the living room fell silent again. He cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair, pushing it out of his face again before taking a deep inhale. He shifted in his seat, turning to her. "Look, my mom died when I was little, ok?"
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Well, so am I," he said with a short nod. "But I don't remember her, I was too young, Jamie and I were too young to even recall what she looked or sounded like. I suppose we would have been more affected if we could, like Caleb."
"Caleb?"
"I have an older brother, he lives in the woods. He doesn't like pack life it seems." She opened her mouth to ask more questions, but he waved them away and continued, "The point is, growing up wasn't all that good. My dad was devastated, like truly broken, when she died. And," he grumbled, stressing the word, waving his hand in the air again but this time trying to force it to express his meaning for him. "Don't get me wrong, I don't blame him, but he wasn't completely there, you know? He left us to ourselves a lot while he was trying to pull himself together. He threw himself into work and, Jamie and I, we… Growing up we just- we were by ourselves a lot. And Caleb. But Caleb was also hurting. I remember feeling rootless and lost. Alone. Jamie and I against the world, you know? I don't remember my mother, but I remember being alone. We sort of… raised ourselves."
"I'm sorry," Cassie whispered, biting her lip. Again Josh waved away her words, his discomfort showing. "I guess, that would explain your wild nature."
"Wild?" he asked, spluttering in a laugh. "I've been really well-behaved while you've been here."
She hummed in disagreement, raising her eyebrow at him as she tapped her bottom lip. "Strange women sneaking into your house in the middle of the night, bar fights, drunkenness, gambling, and general misbehavior? Yes, very well-behaved indeed," she said, nodding her head at him.
He snorted at her again, laughing against his will. "Sounds like a regular Tuesday," he joked, shifting his body to sit closer to her, nudging her shoulder with his. When she rolled her eyes at him and exhaled an exasperated breath he coughed dryly and tried wiping the grin from his face. "Anyway, I saw Mina and Gabe, and I just- I remember being small and lost, needing guidance and protection from adults but being thrust into a situation where it just wasn't there. I think something just snapped in me. I wanted to protect them." He watched Cassie avert her eyes again, her golden curls falling in front of her eyes. He wanted to brush them away, he wanted to see her. But more than that he wanted to touch her. He wanted to run his thumb along her cheek, wanted to watch her lips part in a smile just for him. "You I didn't care about at all," he added quickly. There it was, a small smile as she exhaled in a quick laugh and finally met his eyes. He laughed with her.
"Damn Northcreek," she said and shook her head.
"Fucking Silverstream," he countered. They sat together at the piano for a few moments, saying nothing, just listening to the melody Josh was once again playing for them, comfortable in each other's presence. Josh knew he was about to ruin the moment, but she should know. "I've spoken to Omega Mallard today," he said, "She'll contact Clearwater for you."
"Oh," Cassie breathed, "That's good, I suppose." That was good, wasn't it? That wasn't exactly a petition, but it was the first step. She felt good about that. Didn't she? That meant she could potentially leave soon. That was good. Good. She felt herself slump against the piano bench. Good.
"What are you running from?" Josh asked, his fingers straining on the keys as he played.
"Please, Josh," Cassie begged.
"Uhm, excuse me, I've just been sitting here bearing my soul to a Silverstream. Not once, but twice. Maybe I could get a truth from you in return, just the one. Tell me what it is you're running from." He didn't look at her, kept his gaze firmly on the keys that now rang out with much more force than he wanted.
Cassie's hands pressed together in her lap, no more wringing, just pure force gripping her fingers until they hurt. She knew he deserved to know, he had sheltered her for so long, but it was too painful to talk about.
"Did you commit a crime? Are you running because you hurt someone?" he pressed.
"No," she heard herself say, "No crime, I haven't hurt anyone."
Josh gave a confirming nod and continued, "Is someone trying to hurt you?" he asked.
"Yes," she confessed.
He hesitated, but couldn't stop himself. "Was someone hurting you?"
"Yes," she said with a sharp intake of breath. Her mouth suddenly dry.
"Why didn't your mate protect you?"
Cassie didn't answer. Her hands shook with the strain, knuckles white. Her shoulders tightened and she whipped her head away, staring intensely in the other direction, her lips pressed shut.
Josh swallowed, a sudden knowing blooming in the back of his head and a cold crept down his spine. "Because it was your mate," he whispered. She said nothing, her silence confirming what he had only just realized. The keys ringing out in the room were harsh and false as his hands forgot how to play. He stopped. "I'm so sorry. I didn't- I didn't think- I was just-"
"I stayed for years," she choked out, her voice a strangled sob. "I let it- I thought… I had stayed, but then," she said to the silence. "He began threatening-" She wrapped her arms around herself. "He threatened them. I had to get them out. I wouldn't let them live through what I..." She couldn't finish her sentence. She couldn't even finish her train of thought.
Josh swallowed heavily, watching the wolf next to him fold in on herself. "I'm so sorry, Cassie," was all he managed to get out.
She gave a sharp, sad laugh, "So am I."
The stillness around them grew again. He wished he could put his arms around her, they were straining to give comfort. She was shaking, and her breath was coming out in harsh puffs, but he couldn't touch her. And for the first time, he truly understood why. His hands balled into fists on his knees, his throat bobbing with unsaid words that he didn't know what was and his jaw ticked as it clenched shut.
They sat in the stillness of the living room, the silence now heavy and growing thicker by the second. Minutes passed, neither moving, barely breathing.
Then he placed his hand back on the keys, and a solitary note rang out. She still didn't move, but her shoulders tightened by the surprising sound. He pushed the next key and the next, and soon a small melody grew. Simple and easy. She lifted her head and he smiled at her. "Help me out," he said. Her brow furrowed with uncertainty when she looked down at the keys in front of her. "You're in my way," he said, motioning to them as well. "You're going to have to play with me."
"But I can't," she breathed, eying the keys skeptically.
"I'll teach you," he insisted. "Push down on that one in front of you."
"This one?"
"No, the one next to it." This would be harder than usual since he couldn't reach over and touch but she did find the right one. "Good, now the one next to it. Yes, and the one that's two keys over. No, the other side. Yes, that's it." He grinned at her, drawing out a small smile, he suddenly realized he would do anything for it to stay there. "Now do that again, just a heartbeat in between. Gently now." He watched as her fingers moved like his own, pressing the keys, hesitantly at first but with a growing confidence. "There you go, not too fast," he said.
"I've never touched a piano of any kind before," she confessed, looking up at him briefly before returning with concentration to her hand.
"You're doing good." He added a flourish to his side, adding a few notes he made up on the spot. "See, we're doing it."
"It's harder than it looks," she confessed with a small laugh that bubbled out of her throat before she could stop it.
"It's about to get harder," Josh warned, "After the last note, the far one, tap the black key above."
"Like this?"
"No, here, like this," he said, and without thinking, he reached over and placed his hand on hers. Only for the briefest moment. She hissed at the contact and withdrew her hand as if she had been burned. He did the same, knowing without a doubt that he just fucked up. "Shit, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- Fuck."
Cassie cradled her hand with the other, pressing it to her chest. Her heartbeat was raging in her throat and blood rushed in her ears. He had moved too fast, too sudden. The contact had been a burst of memories. But he had withdrawn. Quickly. "It's- It's ok."
"No, I-"
"It's ok," she said again, cutting him off. She tried giving him a reassuring smile, hoping he understood. He snapped his jaw shut, his features softened as his gaze met hers. She felt a tingle in her chest when she looked at him, his hair pushed away from his face, the small frown, and the little furrowed line on his forehead. She had to look away, her cheeks were warming again. "It was just fast and no warning," she confessed, knowing she sounded stupid, but she couldn't explain it any other way. She swallowed and bit her lip, placing her hand back on the keys. "You can… you can- um. Please."
"Are you sure, I can just-"
"Please," she said again, more firmly.
He held his breath as he reached forward, his hand shaking before placing it on top of hers. She trembled beneath his touch, and he swore he could feel a racing pulse beneath her skin. She exhaled slowly. "Is this alright?" he asked.
"Yes," she said but found there was no volume behind the word. Yes, it was alright. His hand was warm and large, the callouses rough on her skin. Big and broad, with freckles on the back of his hand, but gentle. So gentle. No pressure, no cruelty. Just a touch. His fingers were on hers. Not forcing them but guiding them to the keys. She couldn't breathe, but it wasn't from fear. His eyes searched hers, his expression uncertain. "That's fine," she whispered. No, it was more than fine. His touch was sending shivers up her arm, his touch was leaving her hand and fingers both feeling heavy and light as a feather at the same time.
"Alright," Josh croaked out, his voice suddenly breaking, and he had to cough to cover the slip-up. But Cassie laughed loudly, and he relaxed into his seat. "Alright," he said again, this time sounding somewhat normal.
They played together, a little rough and a couple of sour notes, but still, a melody was taking form. She reveled in the weight of his touch, the way his fingers guided her touch. Not insisting, or dominating her movement, but rather moving with her. Her skin tingled, his warmth pulsating from him. It felt almost forbidden, and she wanted to wrap it all over her, step into this strange feeling sprouting from a touch, a single touch to the back of her hand.
The tones cracked a little as Josh forgot to pay attention to which keys he had her pushing. He had noticed their proximity as they sat there, side by side, his arm reaching over her. He hadn't realized how close they had moved. Cassie looked up at him when the false note reached her. She too noticed just how near his body was. And her smile faded, uncertainty painted her features.
But she didn't move away. She couldn't. Instead, she sat, rooted to the spot. Not trapped. But mesmerized by the look on his face. His expression was unreadable, but the feel and heat from his body were not at all unpleasant. She wasn't sure exactly when they had stopped playing, but they had. Their hands were still. Touching. The tingles continued, his rough callouses brushed the back of her hand and she almost sighed out in pleasure.
She licked her bottom lip slowly, his eyes darted to her tongue. And they darkened. Whatever was growing in her chest curled sharply at the action. He lifted his hand, and hers strangely followed suit, as if glued to his palm. She turned it, twisting it around until they were palm to palm. Her breath hitched. The connection between their palms felt electric, soft, and sturdy at the same time.
Josh removed his hand and she mourned the loss of contact that almost made her whimper. She felt naked without his touch. But his gaze never wavered, his eyes still held her firmly in place when he whispered, "May I touch you?"
She wanted to say no. She knew she had to say no, but every fiber of her being was screaming at her to say yes. "Please," she choked out instead, "Please." He was careful and slow, but his thumb came up to brush her cheek. She sucked in a gasp as the action burned across her skin. Leaning into the gentle touch, she sighed, a small sound that escaped from the very depth of her being.
Her skin was so silky, and smooth, he felt like he was defiling it merely by touching it with his fingers, rough from work. As though this contact was sacred, forbidden. She shouldn't have let him touch her, it was too much. But then she made it worse, and he almost crumpled on the spot when her hand came up to touch his face. So lightly it was almost nonexistent, but he felt it, he felt her.
Their breaths mingled as they leaned forward, leaning towards each other. He touched her cheek, his fingers brushed along the shell of her ear, caressing the lobe that brought out a small whimper, his thumb stroking her chin. She ran her fingers along his forehead, touching every freckle she could find, stroking the dark red hair of his eyebrows, and cupping his jaw in her palm. His thumb stroked her bottom lip, the softness there making the hairs stand on the back of his neck.
Without thinking Cassie placed her other hand on his thigh. He groaned, his eyes narrowed, and his nostrils flared as he exhaled sharply. She would have pulled back, with anyone else she would have pulled back, but for some ridiculous reason, she didn't feel threatened.
Slowly, very slowly, his other hand trailed up her arm and back down again, sending shivers through her. She sighed. His hand was now on her waist. But he was too far away, much too far away. She moved towards him, sitting closer. His arm snaked around her waist. It tightened, not with possession, not with claim or aggression, but with a comforting firmness.
And soon she was flush against him, not on the bench at all anymore, but pressed against him. Against his body. She didn't know when he had stood, or when they had moved. Entranced by this new sensation of gentle caresses and slow, languid exploratory touches, she had been lost to the world. The piano clanged and screeched as she was placed on the keys in front of him.
Her hands had grown bold, both on his shoulders and feeling their way down his arms, his hard chest that throbbed with a heartbeat she recognized in herself. Want. Need. How long had it been since she had felt this? How many years since she had wanted, truly wanted?
His hands loosened from her waist where he had held her, they smoothed down over her thighs, over the skirt, on either side of him where he stood, between them. And then under her skirt. She sucked in a gasp as his palms slid up her calves, tucking themselves behind her knees, pulling her even closer.
His lips were so close, a hair's breadth away. But he hesitated, hovering above her with a strain that throbbed painfully through both. He would have kissed her, but he had been too eager, and his hands slid up her thighs. And there he felt it, a long thick scar on the inside of her thigh. A touch that made her stiffen and pull away.
She gasped as if emerging from water, blinking as if waking from a dream. She shot up from the piano, the noise of her scrambling off echoing around the room. A room that now felt much colder and emptier when she was rushing to get away, running a few feet away where she twirled and looked back at him. Panic was written on her face.
"Shit," Josh grumbled under his breath. "Cassie, I'm sorry, please don't…" He reached for her, but she flinched and stepped back.
"Don't," she breathed. "I- I can't. I just can't, Josh." With that, she turned again and ran. Taking the stairs two at a time.
Josh stumbled after her, reaching the bottom of the stairs. "Wait," he called out. She did, clutching the railing as she looked down at him. He didn't even know what he was going to say, what he could say. What can you possibly say in a situation like this? "Whatever has happened, whatever that bastard has done, you- you do know it wasn't your fault, right? None of it."
She didn't say anything to that. Her eyes were still wide, and he could swear he saw the shimmer of a tear on her cheek. Without another word, or another look, she ran, back to the room, and her door locked after her.
He stood for a moment, staring at it. As though she might come back out, but he knew she wouldn't. He looked at his hands, his palms that had only a moment before caressed her, felt her. Swallowing, he shook his head. He hadn't imagined that- he hadn't really thought that…
He didn't know what to think. He didn't know what to do now. This was not how things were supposed to evolve.